Midlife Butterfly: Healing, Empowerment & Self-Discovery

#16 - Discovering Who You Truly Are: Stop Hiding and Shine with Andrea Karlovich

• Kena Siu • Episode 16

Share episode

Host Note: This talk was a real gift for me because I’ve struggled with this for decades. I learned and understood so much about myself in this talk, and I hope and trust that will help you stop hiding and embrace your true self!

In this powerful episode of The Midlife Butterfly Podcast, I sit down with the luminous Andrea Karlovich—a somatic spiritual counselor and soul alchemist—to explore what it truly means to stop hiding and start living as your fully aligned, unapologetic self.

We unpack the emotional layers that keep midlife women stuck in people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-doubt—and how to lovingly return to your essence. Andrea shares her personal story of healing deep childhood wounds and offers metaphors, somatic practices, and reflections to help you rediscover your light and reclaim your joy.

Whether you’ve been living on autopilot or feel disconnected from who you are, this episode is your invitation to come back home to your truth, your body, and your soul.


This episode is for you if you’re ready to:

  • Reclaim your voice and stop outsourcing your worth
  • Heal childhood patterns that keep you stuck
  • Understand how your nervous system affects your authenticity
  • Embrace your shadow and your light
  • Live with courage, truth, and alignment in midlife


We talk about:

  • The 5 P’s of Hiding: Perfection, Performing, Pleasing, Pretending & Proving
  • The power of nervous system awareness and somatic healing
  • How we abandon our true selves to feel “safe” or “worthy”
  • Why midlife is your next level and how to embrace the transformation
  • A beautiful mirror exercise to reconnect with your soul
  • Shadow work, inner safety, and finding your soul gifts


Connect with Andrea:


Reflection Questions:

  1. Where in your life are you hiding parts of your truth?
  2. How can you start creating more safety within yourself today?
  3. What small, soulful shift can you make to reconnect with the real you?


Need Guidance?

Sign up for Kena's Mini-Coaching Sessions On Demand:

Want to learn more? Check this page: www.wellbeingproject.ca/mini-coaching

You can find all the podcast details right here: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/podcast

Download the Midlife Butterfly Guide with 5 Radical Practices to Heal, Take Your Power Back & Rise

Follow Kena on Instagram: @kenasiu

Join the Midlife Butterfly Community: http://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifebutterfly

For Coaching, Courses & More Visit Kena's Website: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/workwithme

Request a Free Empowered Call with Kena if you're interested in working with her: https://midlifebutterfly.ca/empoweredsession


Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

Kena Siu:

Hello and welcome back to the Midlife Butterfly podcast. In this episode, I am sharing an interview with a beautiful soul, Andrea Karlovich, who will guide us on how we can stop hiding and embrace our authentic selves. I know many of us, women especially tend to hide, not allowing ourselves to shine and be authentic. We will unwrap some of the causes and show how we can shift this around so we can embrace our light and let ourselves shine.

Kena Siu:

So welcome, Andrea and let ourselves shine, so welcome. Andrea.

Kena Siu:

Ah thank you. Okay, so let's talk a little bit about you. Andrea is a somatic spiritual counselor, and her deepest passion is guiding people to reconnect with the parts of themselves that may feel lost, hidden or buried. She has spent years walking this path, helping others peel away the layers of fear, shame and doubt that have kept them from living as their true selves. Her journey of self-discovery has taught her that hiding isn't the answer. Stepping into your light is. Her credentials and trainings include master life coaching, master in spiritual psychology, train in somatic counseling, embodiment work, trauma resolution, and she's also studied heart intelligence, group dynamics, conscious communications, couple of works and child development and a variety of energy healing modalities. And she is currently a PhD candidate in metaphysics, holistic life counseling and, with all the wisdom that she has acquired over 14 years, she offers a safe space to uncover the truth of who you are. She believes we all deserve to be fully seen, heard and cherished, and she knows that true transformation begins when we stop hiding and allow ourselves to be fully seen. Thank you, andrea, wow.

Kena Siu:

You're a box of wisdom in here. It's a different experience hearing it reflected back to me and read. So it was like wow that's really fascinating.

Kena Siu:

Oh wow, oh wow. So how has been your path out of the hiding part, which was where some of the blocks that were there for you, and do you that you actually see in women and in people around that we tend to hide?

Andrea Karlovich:

Yeah. So hiding it's hiding has evolved into a focus for me, and I just want to start by saying you know, just as I reflect and hear that reflection of all of the titles and accomplishments, you know I'm still just a spiritual being having a human experience and I kind of want to set those titles aside, because that is one way that we can hide. You know, we can also hide who we really are by using our titles and accomplishments in order to feel worthy or enough, and so I just want to acknowledge that first, that you know, I believe that we are all eternal souls having a human experience and that each of us has a spiritual curriculum.

Andrea Karlovich:

So, kind of like you know we sign up for classes, you know we're here and we come. You know we incarnate into you, know this world and life and you know we have certain things that we want to acquire and learn and grow from, and often it comes in ways that are challenging. So we may choose to incarnate into childhoods and families that are dysfunctional and cause wounds, and that experience ends up being our curriculum in life to evolve and heal from. And my curriculum has been a huge journey of, like true self discovery. So hiding has been a huge part of my journey, hiding who I really am and it started in childhood.

Andrea Karlovich:

So I grew up in a family that was quite dysfunctional and had multi-generational wounding that got passed down, and the core wound was, or the way that it was passed down was, through shaming. So I had parents, but in particular my mom, who had a, you know, turbulent childhood. That shame was passed down. I had to let go of my true self in order to earn love from my mom. So I guess we're just going to dive right in.

Kena Siu:

Go on.

Andrea Karlovich:

So can just keep going. But, yeah, one of the core things that I, the core messages that I not only experienced in my child childhood, but it was also a verbal message that was told to me, was this and it's a little harsh, and I say this just, you know, to be authentic and transparent with my story and to relate with others, but not to, you know, think poorly of my mom. My mom had wounds and they came from her childhood and they were unhealed. Yeah, so the thing that I heard really young, seven, eight, you know was I was. I was told verbatim who. Who I was was nothing. Who you are is nothing, uh, and if you want to be anybody in the world, you need to do everything that I tell you to, because only I this is my mom speaking only I can make you into something special, something worthy oh my god. Yeah, yes, so there, oh my God.

Andrea Karlovich:

Yeah, yes. So there was big, huge wounds from my mom around being enough, being adequate, being extraordinary, being worthy, and instead of resolving them inside of herself, she projected them and put them onto me, and put that onto me, and so, to survive.

Kena Siu:

I I'm seeing your emotion and I'm just like, yeah, this is wow. Oh my god.

Andrea Karlovich:

Yeah, keep going so let me just insert this children survive, survive by feeling loved, by feeling worthy and feeling safe. Those end up being the core wounds of humanity as we have to learn about safety, worthiness and lovability.

Andrea Karlovich:

They can expand from there, you know, into connection and belonging and things like that, but it really narrows down to that. So if worth and value and lovability are in question, then a child will trade love and connection. They'll trade their authenticity for it. So authenticity is a basic human need to like we need to be connected to ourselves in a true way. However, in childhood, connection to a parent, a caregiver or love trumps authenticity. And so, for me, I traded my authentic self in order to earn my mom's love, in order to be who she wanted me to be.

Andrea Karlovich:

And for me, that's where my true self started going into hiding, and I had to. Well, not only hide, but I, unfortunately, as a child, I believed her. I believed that my true self was who I was at my core, was nothing, was worthless and that only she could make me into something more. And in childhood, like so, she used shame and fear, you know, to control my behavior, and it worked Like I was really good girl, and it worked Like I was a really good girl, yeah, and I worked to be perfect and please and do all the.

Andrea Karlovich:

There was a threat of losing her love and a threat of abandonment. Threat of losing her love and a threat of abandonment. So anytime I stepped out of line or wasn't doing what she wanted, she would tell me literally it wasn't just actions, it was words, you know. She would literally tell me I'm done being your mother and as a child I mean. She would elaborate on that and say I'll still take you to school, I'll still clothe you, I'll still do all the things, but I'm done making you into something more, something special.

Andrea Karlovich:

And for me that meant like I was worthless, I was left to just be the nothingness that I was programmed to believe, that I was, and that felt like death. And that's normal, you know, for a child. If they like their worth or value, therefore their worthiness of love, is in question. It feels like they'll die, like it does. It feels like that. So that's where the patterns of hiding, of trading my authentic self started. And you know to to feel loved and accepted. Um, I almost want to pause there and just check in and see how you're doing.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, I'm okay, but wow, what, what a journey as a child and having it like that clear, because I can relate also to that feeling of unworthiness. But for my side it was more like subtle, not with words but with you was there on point, and if you will not follow, then you are not worthy. Then you are not worthy, you are as you said, you are nobody. And those are very like heavy words for even for us as adults now.

Andrea Karlovich:

So imagine, I can imagine you going through that as a child yeah, yeah, I signed up for it and that was the curriculum I signed up for yeah and you know what thank you for.

Kena Siu:

I really love how you use this word curriculum because when, well, probably at one point you did come with this world, because with this world, because I don't know if you also went to the victim side of your life until we start working in ourselves, and then then we we understand that life is happening for us and not to us, right, and just before then we're thinking we're blaming everyone and we're saying that we have a shitty life and all this and the way that you use this work curriculum and it's like, yeah, so this is our curriculum of this human experience in life at this moment. So absolutely.

Andrea Karlovich:

Yeah, it's empowering, it's a way to take responsibility, to take ownership and to recognize that, yeah, like life is happening for us and when really horrible things happen, it can be really hard to embrace that. However, if we remind ourselves, especially about our childhood, that on some level, as a soul coming into having a human experience, I must have chosen this. I know for me, I did.

Andrea Karlovich:

You know, I chose into it, you know, but I want to say it a little softer just in case others haven't gotten there yet, just to ponder. You know well, what if I did, what if I did choose this experience, then what? Yeah, so, yeah.

Andrea Karlovich:

so I kind of want to get a little bit back to present moment and just sharing about hiding. So for me, like that was the core of my programming and the experiences. However, the funny thing is, up until I had like a spiritual awakening or a realization moment, I thought I had a great childhood, I thought it was, it was great, like because I really, I really did. I chose to be the good girl, I chose to be what I was taught to be. And you know, for example, like when I was five, I got to see my brother be born at home. So I come from a chiropractic family and we were born at home. And so my brother was born at home, and it was just before the summer, before kindergarten started for me, and my mom convinced me that I wanted to be an OBGYN and I said, well, I, you know, I, I just saw what about a midwife. You know, I just saw a midwife deliver my brother. Yeah.

Andrea Karlovich:

And a midwife wasn't good enough. You know it wasn't there, wasn't enough status or you know whatever the belief about again good enough. And so she convinced me that I wanted to be an OBGYN and worked with me for days to memorize the letters OBGYN what does it mean, though?

Kena Siu:

sorry because that oh oh, english is my second language, so that's why I'm like, okay, I don't know this.

Andrea Karlovich:

Yeah, it's an obstetrician gynecologist.

Andrea Karlovich:

It's the doctor that delivers babies okay, okay yeah, then you're a doctor, so that's why the that case, probably the difference of level of recognition yes, okay, of recognition, of significance, of status, and that's what was important to my mom, to my family too. That was kind of the generational thing. And so when I started kindergarten and that's really the first opportunity that children are asked the question, what do you want to be when you grow up I had a memorized answer that I never, I never even got the chance to inquire like, ask that question myself. It was like a memorized answer and so that's just like that's, that's five and there's. It continues throughout my whole childhood into, you know, teenage years. It was very programmed and but I never got the chance to really inquire or discover who I was, what resonated for me, who, what was me, what was different. I always had to memorize and be what my mom said, and so it's got hiding, written all over it. I mean, that's all I knew.

Andrea Karlovich:

So by the time I was 21, my spiritual awakening was a brief marriage experience. So I got married at 21. And two weeks after the wedding it quickly flipped where I felt like I didn't know the person that I married and it was verbally and emotionally abusive, manipulative and controlling and and shocking. And it was shocking fast enough, quick enough because, like my childhood was over time and slow, but this was fast enough, quick enough that I was like, oh man, what the heck that it like woke me up, and so within a matter of months I was able to get out of it and get an annulment.

Andrea Karlovich:

And I got home and, you know, somebody had recommended reading a book on codependency. So I started reading codependent no more, and by this time I was 22 and I was like upstairs back at my parents house, you know, in my room, reading this book, and it was hard for me, like it was hard to see myself in that way, because by the time I'd gotten into my early 20s, I had started to believe that I was the, the lies or the identity that my mom had like conditioned me to believe yeah, and any um deviation from that wasn't safe. It was like any deviation from that wasn't safe. It was like any deviation from that. Then, you know, that feeling of oh my gosh, like unworthiness would come up.

Andrea Karlovich:

And so to read that, that book and be like oh my gosh, like yeah, like this is, this is me, it was hard. And I remember reading it while, like, my parents were downstairs and I was hearing them and they were like yelling or arguing about something or talking, you know, and I I had this realization like, oh my gosh, this is my parents, like I married my parents, and that was the awakening that I realized that I didn't have the best childhood, that even though it looks good on the outside, you know, and anybody stepping into connecting with my family, or the events and parties they loved my family, but the hidden emotional, psychological abuse and manipulation was rampant. And that was really my awakening to that experience.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, oh, wow. And how was it for you really experiencing and seeing that? Then that reality of you're saying, oh wow, like this has been my life and it has been all put out for you, but you realize then probably only a few pieces of it really came from you. How was that realization?

Andrea Karlovich:

station. That's a great question and it's not a simple answer like because there were so many layers and that was really the beginning.

Andrea Karlovich:

It was the beginning of realizing and awakening and then, while also going through the pain, like the physical pain of that five, it was like five or six month marriage, being married for about five months but experience like cracked me open and I was accessing pain and anger that I had never been able to access before because in my childhood anger was ugly, anger wasn't allowed. And I understand now, logically, because if anger also gives us connection to our power and if we don't have connection to feeling anger, then it's really hard to own our power. So I gave you know my power was completely given away to my mom. So that experience cracked me open and I was feeling things that I hadn't allowed myself to feel for I mean my whole childhood, practically. And so it was cracking me open, I was accessing it, I was having the realizations, I was seeing the truth.

Andrea Karlovich:

You know, through what I experienced and and then I will also add that it was many it was a few years later when I started to learn a core principle about life which is and this is, you know, one of the core principles I teach and live by which is life is a mirror, and it's a mirror of our inner relationship with ourselves. And when I realized that and I looked back at marrying this person I had gotten an annulment based on proving fraud and it was very minor. But the annulment was granted because he had lied to me about some things and so it was fraud. But then I had to go back and look and be like well, if life is a mirror, and it's a mirror of my relationship with myself, I was the fraud and he was just reflecting it back to me oh wow, yeah, yeah, my whole childhood.

Andrea Karlovich:

I didn't know it at the time. You know I had the awareness that I was the one that was inauthentic, that I was the one that had memorized who my identity was. But it took, you know, years of spiritual growth, work and healing back and be like if life isn't here and that you know, I, I prove it. What was reflected back to me was fraud. Then I own that. That was that was how. That was a reflection of my inner relationship. So, yeah, yeah.

Kena Siu:

Wow, yeah, definitely I do agree that life is a mirror and I guess it's when we really understand that and if we are willing and open to do the work is when we can start really polishing that mirror, to start seeing something different, and because at the end that mirror, we can keep shifting it over and over as we evolve as as human beings yeah, absolutely, and you bring up a great point of evolving it over and over and that you know leads into, I believe, discovering who we are is something that we live into and that we don't necessarily find the answer.

Andrea Karlovich:

This is who I am, and it's that forever no, of course not.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, because that's the thing we're continuing becoming, we're becoming, I'm becoming, I'm becoming right and and we're continuing remembering, connecting.

Andrea Karlovich:

We're continuing remembering, connecting, we're continuing dropping back into what's already there. And there's a metaphor that that brings up for me, because I feel that as souls, as eternal beings having a human experience, that we already are like who we are like. We are born with this beautiful soul and we go through experiences that kind of cover it, you know, and shape it. We get hurt, we get told we're not worthy, we, you know, and we don't get met in a way where we get to metabolize those experiences and still stay connected to ourself. And so I know, for me, my journey has really been learning how to connect with what was already there, but I had to go through the layers of what I experienced. So I guess there's going to be two metaphors or two, two things, as I think of this. So for me, like I often draw this out for my clients, but if you imagine a heart, you know, like at the center, and then a circle or a layer around it, and then another circle layer around it and another circle, a layer around that, and the heart is representative of our soul essence, of our true self, of our light, our beauty, our wholeness, our worthiness and who we really are and we're born with it. It is it, it is us and it's there. Is it, it is us and it's there. And I do believe that the core purpose of childhood is to have healthy mirrors, meaning parents who are like, connected to their true self and can reflect that back to a child to stay connected. But this world isn't quite there yet. We're getting there. Yes, we're a work in progress't quite there yet. We're getting there. Yes, we're work in progress. Definitely, yeah, we're getting there. So, um, so that's what the heart represents.

Andrea Karlovich:

The next layer around it, like a circle around. It gets filled and it gets dense and thick. It gets filled with different parts and aspects of ourself. That gets stuck and frozen in time. And parts of ourself get stuck and frozen in time when we have an experience that doesn't come to completion, that doesn't find resolution. You know we fall like physically speaking. You know we fall down, we scrape our knee, we get out the hydrogen peroxide and clean it. It hurts more. You know we put some neosporin on it or whatever we use in a bandaid and it heals. It comes to completion. If we don't like, it'll get infected. Emotional wounds and psychological wounds are invisible If we didn't have parents or caregivers or people around us to meet us. When we, metaphorically, when we fell down or got hurt emotionally and it didn't come to completion, then it stays stuck and it I want you to imagine that it stays stuck in this layer, around that heart.

Andrea Karlovich:

You know, as we come back to that, visual and it gets filled, it gets dense and there's different pieces and aspects that are unresolved, that were wounded and form these limiting beliefs and, you know, have pain, and so, to survive, we go to the next layer and we create a layer around that, and this next, the outermost layer, is what you could call the ideal self or, said another way, who we think we need to be in order to be safe, in order to feel okay and feel loved and worthy and all the things. And so we often hide out in this ideal self and we hide out with who we think we have to be. And there's a few ways that hiding often shows up, and I call them the four slash, sometimes five P's. We hide through perfection, trying to be perfect and be who, the perfect ideal self, and have the perfect everything, say the right thing. You know, we may even find ourselves where this shows up, where maybe we go on a date or we connect with somebody and then after, in retrospect, we go in and analyze every single thing we said and like what did I, you know, and it's like it's that perfection thing.

Andrea Karlovich:

Um, performing is another p. You know, we'll perform, we'll, please, we'll put on a show, we'll be the funny one or you know, whatever we need to be to feel safe and secure with who we are in the moment. Um, perfection, performing, pleasing. So pleasing is another one where we're hyper aware of everyone around us. We're hyper aware of their emotions. They're like. Some of us can even like, tell what somebody's thinking and anticipate their needs and please and take care of everybody else, and we'll deny ourselves um and pretending, you know, we'll pretend I'm fine, I'm good, you know, when really, like, I'm experiencing deep sadness and loss because my dog just died or something like that. Um, and then the last one that kind of goes in and out the five, the fifth p is proving and it's kind of a way to hide, you know, it just depends.

Andrea Karlovich:

But proving really comes from a wound of trying to go out in the world and earn our worth. Prove that you know, hey, see, see who I am, see how many achievements I've got. Like, doesn't that prove to you that I'm enough? And it just comes from trying to fill that wound of unworthiness and we can hide slightly behind it. It can, it can be true, like what we're trying to prove, but we have to see it ourselves. And so those are some of the common ways that hiding shows up, and hiding what's real for us, what our real thoughts, feelings are. And there's three areas that hiding show up. It's with ourselves, with others and in the world, and with ourselves.

Andrea Karlovich:

Is you know, my story that I just shared is a great example of how I was hiding with myself. Is you know, from the conditioning and everything that I experienced, like I didn, my facilitator and teacher? She was like feel your feet, can you? Can you feel your feet right now? You know this is very common in the somatic practice. You know, tune in and feel your feet, drop in. And I would look with my eyeballs and she would be like no, no, no, don't look at your feet, feel them. And it was so.

Andrea Karlovich:

The embodiment work was so hard for me at first, because I was so oriented to seeing myself through the eyes of my mother, to feel safe, that I didn't know how to drop in and feel what I was feeling. And so when it came to like tuning inward and being like how do I feel, I didn't know. I couldn't access almost any of my feelings and what I had to do is I had to drop in and feel the nothingness which presented kind of like ice, like you'd think. Like ice. It didn't feel cold or hot, it was like neutral ice and I had to keep feeling my non-access to feeling. I had to keep feeling the nothingness and over time it would melt and metabolize and then I could gain access to what I was feeling.

Andrea Karlovich:

So when we hide from ourselves, we may have lived life where we're very disconnected, very disconnected from ourselves, from what we feel, from what we think, from who we are. And other times we might be aware, we might be aware subtly, of what's going on and instead of facing and feeling it, we'll get busy, we'll run around and get busy and like, do all the things and you know, go, go, go, and you know no slowing down until it's time to fall asleep and we'll get up, we'll do it again and you know we're good, you know we were taking care of everything and um. But if we slow down, if we slow down and stop running away from our bodies and our feelings and our thoughts and what's true for us, intuitive, because if we are in the sympathetic nervous system and we're in fight, fight or freeze, then that the sympathetic nervous system tells us to go run, do you know, in order to feel safe?

Andrea Karlovich:

Yeah, but the opposite ends up being true is to down, drop in, get the parasympathetic nervous system online and meet what's present, meet what's real, and that's when the the healing and the metabolization start to happen. That's when we stop hiding from ourselves and we start connecting and getting real. We have to be ready, because sometimes there's things that are that come up in our body that we haven't been ready to face and yeah, wow, that thing is oh wow, I'm just in awe.

Kena Siu:

Thank you for all this share. I mean wow because I've seen, like for my personal experience, hiding for me has been really because of my wound of rejection, so it was really me choosing to hide to avoid that. But in your case it's a completely different perception. Well, it's a story that I've never perceived.

Kena Siu:

Hiding from that side, and what you just said now of us being busy, busy, busy all the time I never saw it either as a way of hiding and I I am a woman that have done that and I'm sure that a lot of listeners they can relate to that and we think that we are good and we are doing everything and you know, but, yeah, it's a way of hiding, yeah it is. And something when you were talking about the, the four pieces of hiding, the one that I know it resonates for most of us, or at least for what the women that I have talked to and for some you know, facebook groups that I have been in and the whole thing, and even clients yeah, I've been, we've been working with. This is the pleasing part how we actually hide ourselves by pleasing others.

Andrea Karlovich:

Yeah, yeah. We deny and abandon our own needs, our own desires, our own dreams, our own wants, in order to make sure everybody else is happy. We're so good at reading and knowing what people need and want and giving it to them we know can be so generous and thoughtful, but we don't include ourselves.

Kena Siu:

Yeah but and adding to that once, the first time I actually I heard this, I was like they say, being a people pleaser, it's a way of manipulation, and just to say it gives me chills because I was like what you know, at that time, like now, I'm like hell. Yeah, that's so true. Because we are not allowing to be ourselves fully, because we want the other person to be okay. We want the other person to be okay, we want the other person to love us, we want the other person to whatever expectation we may have, but by us pleasing them, we are manipulating the situation yeah, we're outsourcing and trying to get their approval, their validation.

Andrea Karlovich:

They're liking us, they're loving us, they're accepting us, and so we we end up, you know, pleasing, and pleasing can be super mild. You know it can be mild in terms of um. You know this kind of jumps into the um you know self other world jumps into the how we hide with others category.

Andrea Karlovich:

It's like okay where do you want to go to dinner? Well, I don't know. Where do you want to go to dinner? Well, just wherever you want to go to dinner. You know, it's like this pleasing thing and we might tell ourselves well, that's true, I'm being real, I'm being authentic, because I just want to go where they want to go, but then we're not. It comes down to self, because then we're probably not connected to ourselves or giving ourselves permission to have a desire, to have a preference, to have, you know, a want, and so the so the surface is no, no, I really just want what they want, you know. And so we have to dare to be real, we have to dare to be ourselves, we have to dare to say and have the courage to be like. You know what? I'd really prefer Italian tonight.

Andrea Karlovich:

You know, like what about you? Well, I didn't really want to tell you. Oh, that's okay, we can go where you want to go, right, like yeah that's true, yeah, it happens.

Andrea Karlovich:

And the like it's because we've had the wounds of rejection, you know, the wounds of being ourselves or having our own needs and wants wasn't okay, it wasn't safe, it wasn't accepted. We didn't have somebody saying you be you, I'm really proud of you, like that's awesome, like you want to go there and you spoke it. No matter if it happens or not, that's great, you know. Instead, it's like what you want, that you know there's subtle aspects of like who do you think you are, which is shame, you know. And so the core is really coming into the realization that our being, the worthiness of being, isn't on the line. Our lovability isn't on the line no matter if we have a different preference.

Andrea Karlovich:

So pleasing is is big, and it comes back to our relationship with ourselves and connecting with ourselves, with accepting what's true for us, what's real for us, accepting what we feel, seeing ourselves, and when we do, there's less pressure and need to get it from the outside, to get it from other Back to the principle of life, is a mirror. What I found is when you start seeing, when we all start really seeing and valuing ourselves, then we'll attract relationships and experiences of people who can see us and who can value us and reflect us back. But the little magical thing is we don't need them to anymore. It's a bonus because we've got. Yeah, we see us.

Andrea Karlovich:

And I know I mentioned a second metaphor earlier. I described the heart one. I love this one. It almost makes me tear up every time I share it and I've shared it hundreds of times. Um, and it's a way of connecting back into the self.

Andrea Karlovich:

Is there's this metaphor? You may have heard it, but it's the angel in the didn't. I didn't, I just took the marble and I saw into it and the David was already there. The angel was already within it. And so I feel like we work so hard, going outside of ourselves, trying to find ourselves out there, trying to become something with others or in the world or out there, and we're missing it, that we are human being, our human self is part of that marble. And on in, on inside, that marble is the angel, is the soul, is the statue that was already there and that our journey isn't to go out and find ourselves, it's to go in and see who's already there. The angel is already within you, it's already within me, our true self is there.

Andrea Karlovich:

It's just there's excess marble, which is part of that middle layer I talked about earlier and all we have to do is just release it.

Andrea Karlovich:

Acknowledge and release the excess marble, acknowledge the experience that made us feel like we had to cover ourselves and hide ourselves and hold back.

Andrea Karlovich:

And the more that we do that, the light, the soul light, the angel, the being that's within the true self, will illuminate and shine forth. And that's when life gets really magical, because the more we connect inward to that and we follow what our soul essence is guiding us to do and to be I mean one to be is just really to connect with that Then we're in alignment with our soul, we're in alignment with our soul path and we get to go out into the world and out into relationships from a place of deep connection with that of having that wholeness, that worth, that value, and from there we don't need anything from the world and we don't need anything from others because we have it. But what we do get to do is we get to share it. We get to share it without needing anything back. And so that metaphor is one of the most powerful metaphors, especially for me, because man like, have I ever searched under every rock looking for myself and gone out? There.

Andrea Karlovich:

Oh yeah, and then I'll hit a wall. I'm like, oh, I need to come back to myself. Like, oh, I need to come back to myself.

Andrea Karlovich:

Ow, I hit a wall, it hurt you know, and you know, it was my reminder to be like, oh yeah, like, let me come back within, and it's a journey, and so I I just wanted to also cover, you know, the other, how we hide with other.

Andrea Karlovich:

You know, the more we're connected to ourselves and going within, then we can share what we have with others and they can see it. If we're disconnected you know which which we can be we can be disconnected to some parts of ourselves, disconnected from others, and when we're disconnected, we'll please, you know, we'll do all the things because we don't have what we're looking for and we'll need to outsource it or need to try to please or perform in order for somebody to love us in that place. But once we do, we liberate it and that pattern can resolve, especially in relationships. Resolve especially in relationship, excuse me, um, now with the world. The world is is kind of more in alignment with our service, our calling, our purpose, how we show up in the world. And I know each of us, I believe everybody has gifts.

Andrea Karlovich:

They have soul gifts and they get illuminated and they come forward the more we go through that middle layer like that the heart, then the next layer, the next, that middle layer yeah, um, there's gifts that come from meeting those places that that come out, um, and then there's gifts that come from the soul, that are just natural, that we have, and so the more more we go inward, the more that comes out.

Andrea Karlovich:

And I feel like with showing up in the world, if we aren't connected you know, it's not all of us, it's parts right, if we aren't connected to a certain part that we're wanting to share, be seen, or we're wanting to earn our worth or value will show up in the world and one will hide. You know, maybe we won't dare to do the thing that our soul is calling us to do. You know we'll be afraid of being rejected or judged or all the things. But again, the more we come back to connecting with self, the more we can feel safe, because we've resourced our own safety from within and then we're free to. It still might require courage, but we're much freer to step out and do what our soul is guiding us to do in the world Okay.

Andrea Karlovich:

Oh, wow. Okay.

Kena Siu:

Oh, wow, yeah, I love that metaphor. I never. I never hear it before. The angel and the marble, yes, and that's it goes to coming back to that remembering of who we are because, yeah, like our soul is here, it's just all that conditioning, all that programming that we have received since we were born, that has built all those layers, that doesn't allow us to really see that soul and not see it but feel it, because once that we feel it, it's really being home yeah, yeah, yeah oh, and one of the things that I am, that I learned through the journey is that, as you said, there are several different parts.

Kena Siu:

Right, that we hide, but one of the things that I realized to really get to accept who I am and to love who I am is that shadow part, and I think that's one of the more difficult things to actually face because, again, you are not allowed to be angry, you are not allowed to not obey or you need to do what I'm telling you to do, and all those things that we don't supposed to do or not supposed to show or express out, and if we don't really put a light on them, we cannot really shine.

Andrea Karlovich:

Yeah, beautiful. Yeah, the shadow. For me, I like to define the shadow Not bad, it's just anything that we aren't willing to let be seen. And you know the shadow. So I like to say healing. Healing is welcoming back in those parts that are hiding in the shadow. Yes, when we welcome them, part in that it means something about who you know, that. It means that we're less than, or you know whatever the fear is and that it also means that it will be that way always.

Andrea Karlovich:

So an example with that would be like rage, rage, repressed anger. You know I can't let that anger in. It'll take over me, you know it'll. You know I don't want to be that way. Yeah, but the what's been helpful is seeing those different parts as different aspects of us, you know, because every age we've ever been is alive and present within us. And so if there is an angry little child that you know got judged or shamed for feeling angry and got lost and disconnected, it got locked up into a closet or into, you know, the attic, metaphorically speaking, then you know they've been. That aspect of us has been abandoned and sitting in a dark room for so long and rejected, not anymore just by others, but now it's been rejected by us. Yes, and we've, we've abandoned it, we've betrayed it, and so for doing the shadow work and reclaiming those parts, we have to be willing to.

Andrea Karlovich:

you know, seeing, and metaphors help, help me, you know, and they've helped my, I like to imagine a house, like with an attic attic, and some of the parts that we've abandoned or hidden are, like, locked in a dark room and and we've hired an armed guard to stand at the door. You know, yeah, um, and so we have to be willing to take the to, like, you know, release the armed guard and unlock the door and reclaim that part and to see it as it is and let it be okay and not have an agenda for it to be different. We can sit with it and let that little five-year-old or 12-year-old or 17-year-old or two-year-old be angry, have a voice. We can let that part be okay to be fully expressed, without needing it to be different, without needing it to get it together or, you know, be perfect or anything, and that is how we welcome those parts. That's what I've done and and the way that I've guided clients through is is letting that part in and sitting there, like.

Andrea Karlovich:

Imagine yourself sitting there in that room, that this part has been locked in, and just sitting next to them and holding space, telling them like, if it's anger, as an example, like it's okay to tell me more. I'm here with you, I'm strong enough now because you're showing up with your adult self. I'm strong enough to feel this Bring it, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay. And the more we meet those parts, just like that, the magic is they get the medicine, they get that unconditional acceptance. They get met in the way that they didn't at five years old or at the time that heals it, that completes it and then, in that part, transforms it, releases it, lets go, it evolves, it grows from five years old and starts to grow emotionally back into the age that you are. You know it's sometimes it's piece by piece and maybe they grow a few years.

Andrea Karlovich:

You know and it takes some time, but you start to welcome it and let that part reintegrate back into who you are and where you are today. But the caveat is knowing that, knowing that it transforms, knowing that those aspects and parts do transform and it metabolizes. We get stuck. If we meet them that way, we can't have an agenda or it's like okay, I'm gonna accept you because I know you're gonna change, you know you're gonna. It's gonna go away like okay, okay, was that enough? Was that, was that enough? Did you feel the anger? Enough, is that good? Okay, you're happy now, right?

Andrea Karlovich:

No, it doesn't work that way. We have to just sit there and not have an agenda to be different at all. So when you think about it, if you've ever had an experience of somebody outside of you meeting you that way, it's magic, it's medicine. And if you share a part of yourself with somebody that can hold space and can love you and not want you to be any different, and even if it's a part where there's shame around and you shared it and somebody just saw you, it's like great, wow, okay, thank you for sharing. I love you just the same and had no agenda for you to change the thing.

Andrea Karlovich:

That's the meeting and yeah, that's, that's, that's the magic. And so when we work with the parts that we've hidden, the shadow parts, you know, then when they get accepted, like that, magic things transform. And there isn't always, not always parts that are angry or parts that seem dark, you know, or negative, that are in the shadow. It's also parts that are light. We hide our light too, because our light may have been too much and other people felt insecure and they felt threatened and they didn't feel good about themselves.

Andrea Karlovich:

When you were shining, when you had your light, and you, as a sensitive soul, or all of us like sensitive, empathic souls, we don't like that. We know what it feels like to feel that and we don't like others to feel that way. We don't want them to feel less than we know what it feels that way. So, oh my gosh, I'm going to lock that light up into the, the closet, into the attic, into the shadow, and I'm gonna hide that part of me because I want others to feel good about who they are so I can feel, yeah, so I'm okay, and it's not safe to shine. So the light can be a part of the shadow just as much as the like, the proverbial dark, you know.

Andrea Karlovich:

I mean I try not to do good, bad, right and wrong you know, those judgments. But yeah, the light. Hiding our light, fear of being too much, fear of threatening others and hiding the dark is, oh no, like they'll reject me if they know this part of me, but they know that I can get angry like this you know like they'll abandon me. That's not acceptable. So we, we hide like.

Andrea Karlovich:

That's why I love exploring that word, you know, hiding, because it really does show up in so many ways, and the journey home is coming back to ourselves and letting it be okay, first with us and then how we show up with others and how we show up in the world, and then, when we show up in the world, we might get triggered and afraid and we come back down to ourselves and meet ourselves and work on it and then we can come back out. It's like the cocoon and a butterfly.

Kena Siu:

Yes, exactly oh wow, yeah, I can definitely. Yeah, with the whole this whole conversation. Yeah, it's, it's definitely the hide you have done at deep, like you know. You really went to the hole in there to really find what is is hiding. I I have never perceived it like this way, with such an amplitude of it, and, yeah, there are too many pieces in there. There are too many pieces and I'm sure that a lot of people are gonna relate. I could relate to many of the things that that you just said and, like the simple example I just said no, you choose which restaurant we want to you, we want to go. You know, like it's something so simple. Yeah, but you're not speaking your truth.

Andrea Karlovich:

Therefore, you're hiding yeah, I love that you said that. Yeah, exactly, and it's the, it's the simple things, yes, do you have any?

Kena Siu:

sorry, do you have any other? Like simple examples like this, that we might not realize it, but they are there.

Andrea Karlovich:

Well, let me just go to what I was going to say first, and that is to simplify things, you know. So we often go for the big things, you know. We want to answer the big questions in life.

Andrea Karlovich:

We want to want to know who we are, why we're here, what our purpose is like, how do we serve and make a difference like we are, why we're here, what our purpose is like, how do we serve and make a difference like and it comes back to so those questions, I like to say those are questions that we, we live into the answer, you know, we live into them day by day and we start living into things moment by moment, coming back to the present moment and getting simple with, like, what's authentic to me right now, what's in alignment? Is that really true or is there something underneath that you know? And so it's like.

Andrea Karlovich:

I feel like courage is such. You know, hiding is really about safety and fear. You know fear and trying we hide to find safety, and so that requires courage. It requires courage to go on a journey inward to connect with ourselves. You know, courage to cultivate that, enough safety to dare to let ourselves be seen just a little more in our relationships and just a little more in how we're showing up in the world. I feel like breaking it down to embracing courage in the simple moments of everyday life is really the way that we live into more of our true self, and I want to say that it's not a a black and white up and down, swift um switch that we flip, it's like I'm authentic and now I'm authentic. Oh my gosh. No, that would be nice. It might be a little very jarring for our nervous system it's more different shades or I don't know.

Kena Siu:

I just I just pictured the color gray. How many shades you can you can have yeah, yeah, it's about the yeah.

Andrea Karlovich:

So it's about the little shifts, the tiny, tiny little shifts. And I know for some of us we like to go big. You know if we're gonna transform, we like to go big. You know we're going to transform. We like to go all out, we like to do it. We want those big results. But the the big results come from connecting to the core, connecting to the center, and making a tiny shift inside, making a tiny shift in your relationship with yourself and a tiny shift in how you show up in relationships with others, and a tiny shift in you know how you're serving and showing up in the world and another. If you can't tell, I like metaphors.

Andrea Karlovich:

I love go for it. I love them. I love, go for it, I love them. So an earthquake, for example, earthquake happens, we see, I mean we see the results. Like it. It destroys a lot of things, it tears a lot of things down. And an earthquake, you know, think of it, pretend like maybe it's a good thing. You know, transformation it just transforms, transforms, it can be messy. So an earthquake we usually like to go for the end result of what an earthquake produces. But what causes an earthquake? If you go to the center, at the core, there's two little plates and they make a tiny shift, tiny, and that tiny shift at the core ripples out and creates transformation. Okay, so same with, like the trajectory of um, of a ship, a huge vessel or cruise liner. Like if they they set a course and if they change that course one degree or two degrees, they end up in a completely different destiny. Yes.

Andrea Karlovich:

So to attempt this journey of being, or to live into being, more of who we truly are, to be true to ourselves and be on our path. It's about self-awareness and coming back to ourselves, being willing to slow down, get present, connect, find safety in the present moment and ask ourselves questions and be willing to let the answers come from within. That may be hard. It was so hard for me to start doing that, you know, because it was scary. It was safer for somebody to tell me what to do, because that's how I was raised, yeah, but I had to start daring and being willing to find my own answer and dare to answer my question, even if it was wrong, even if it was a mistake. That, you know, that scared me the most even if it was a mistake.

Andrea Karlovich:

Now you know that scared me the most, and so the little things, like the little moments, like you know of you know what feels good to me in this moment. You know what do I, what do I really want and what's the most authentic thing for me to do, and connecting with the body and moving the body and expressing often feels good. Another thing that's also really helpful is the sound of your own voice. Talking to ourselves is very regulating for the nervous system. Inwardly is great, and when you also talk outwardly, there's something magical for the nervous system, there's something settling in it. When we can hear the energy and the vibration of our own voice, what I found is like it's a way that it empowers us. We access more of that power by speaking. Yeah, um.

Kena Siu:

So I know I kind of went off on a tangent and I know it's perfect, because actually I was going to ask you some of the exercises or practices that we can do to then stop hiding and allowing our that revealing of our authentic self. And what you just said is just, it just went on point. You know all these different things? Yeah, yeah, I, I, I do remember, as you're saying.

Kena Siu:

I think the key of this is really awareness to, because if we are doing the things in autopilot, then we are not really present, excuse me, we are not really aware or conscious, and the only way we can actually shift and change and create a different result in our lives is really by having that awareness of choosing something different. Because if we are in autopilot, we're still choosing something, unconsciously most likely, but we're choosing something. So it's about that awareness of saying, okay, I'm choosing something different and, even though it's going to feel, feel uncomfortable, because I am used to feel safe and and my nervous system that's how it wants to keep right, not getting this anxiety of it but if we're still within our safety nets, I think, think within our nervous system, if we just tweak it a bit, but we still feel safe, I believe that's the way to go, to start then showing ourselves more and more.

Andrea Karlovich:

Absolutely, absolutely. The key is learning how to give ourselves what we never received, especially in childhood.

Andrea Karlovich:

And one of those core things is safe. If we didn't have a safe environment or if it wasn't safe to share our truth or be ourselves, then we have to learn how to give that to ourselves. We have to learn how to create and find safety within and find that acceptance within. We have to learn how to see our value and worth, how to feel lovable with ourselves, for ourselves, and that is really the healing journey yeah, definitely, it's as you said.

Kena Siu:

It's how we start like peeling all those layers here and there, because for me, I think in the last year is when I really sink in and feel safe with it awesome you know, just last year I'm 46, almost 47, you know I made it and still working in progress.

Kena Siu:

Because again it's it's layers. We may I may feel safe with some things or with some people, but not in other situations and not with other people. So it's coming back to home and then connecting back and saying okay, like again bringing that awareness of saying I'm not feeling safe. What do I need to choose now? Or what do I need to practice, even if it's a deep breathing or going to nature or do something that is going to bring us back to ourselves so we can feel safe again and by doing so again being authentic, being true.

Andrea Karlovich:

Yeah, beautiful, authentic, being true, yeah, beautiful, oh my gosh. Well, congratulations for finding that inner safety and touching it Like yeah and way to go for acknowledging the progress, because me too, me too, I find that safety and then, when I stretch beyond my comfort zone, got to do the work. Yes, exactly yeah. And I wanted to talk about midlife. You know, midlife like 40s, so with working with a lot of clients like I've seen themes especially with decades, and so what I've witnessed is like stepping into the 40s. It's all about next level.

Andrea Karlovich:

The 40s is like an invitation for your next level and what I see that mean is it's the next level of getting more aligned with your soul, with who you really are, and there's like an energetic shift in the forties that calls us forward and so there can be so much transition in the forties, you know, whereas if things are out of alignment with your soul and what's meant for you, they'll fall away. You know they'll shift the relationships, things change careers and if they are in alignment, like if you have been following that, then it's still the next level. It's like being called into more. How can you express yourself more? How can you deepen in your relationship more? How can you deepen in your connection and your practice with yourself and, like the 50s of what I've witnessed, um is 50s are like new beginning so when people step into their 50s.

Andrea Karlovich:

It's kind of a graduation of, like what they've learned and you know up until then and it's like something new, like a new project, new beginning, something they've never tried before, like they're you know something new. Um, 30s, like I'm you know I'm at the tail end here um, and 30s is like kind of for me it's been like self-discovery, like really doing the work and showing up and connecting and working with the layers and as I get I'm almost at 40, you know so and so it's that I'm feeling that call for the next level, you know which is why work is going to be expanding and stuff like that.

Andrea Karlovich:

And then just for anyone else, like um, 20s, like you, hit the quarter life crisis. A lot of people hit that identity crisis at 25 where they like kind of have an awakening. That was, you know, 22 is kind of mine. You know where it's like, um, oh my gosh, like I was raised to be this way or I was raised to go into this career, do this.

Andrea Karlovich:

And this isn't me, I don't know who I am, but this is me and like that can be the awakening in the 20s, living up to the Saturn return. So I just kind of wanted to acknowledge that for any listeners. But yeah, the 40s like next level, next level alignment um, I love what you said.

Kena Siu:

I mean, all this it well, it's great and yeah, that's really what the 40s is. And this midlife, and that's what I call this show, actually the Midlife Butterfly, because we, as you said, is when we are really like doing that healing process and that transformation, and it's over and over because it seems like life is happening faster between quotes but it's just so many things at the same time and and it's so many cuckoo cuckooing at the same time and, as you said, sometimes yeah, it's the death and the rebirth, but it's sometimes it's just a transformation, that expansion of the soul, and it's just like I just love my bodies, you know it's been. Oh, I just love them, yay love, love, love.

Kena Siu:

Yes yes, yes so you're, you're close to to turning 40.

Andrea Karlovich:

You said yes in February oh wow, I'm from February too, really yes, from which day are you the night, oh 19th yeah so I'm right there, feeling the energies, listening, honoring it, listening to the call and you, you know, stepping in and you know, but then there's new love with expansion and next level. It's that new level. You know new levels. And the nervous system is, you know, the safety thing comes up. And I'm noticing when, when it comes up and it's like my inner child wants to hide a little bit and it's like, okay, like we do the work, I'm gonna meet you, like like I'm, I'm strong, I can hold space for you, I can create safety. It's okay and so it's. It's the journey.

Kena Siu:

Yes, exactly yeah for this, because I well, I guess that you have became the person that you are now because of all the studies and all the support that you have probably get from either therapy or coaching or mentorship, and because I think that's the way that we can actually evolve and grow between quotes in a faster way. Otherwise, I mean, life is beautiful and at the same time it goes really fast. So I really think that by having that support of someone so we can get to heal these parts of us and be able then to be there not only for ourselves but from others and the world, as you were mentioning, it is this composition of of having then feeling that purpose for our lives and feeling fulfilled by having the support of someone to help us really heal this part of ourselves yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a, it's a mix, and there's um, there's beauty in all of it, and there's also some slippery slopes in all of it.

Andrea Karlovich:

That, you know, I've also experienced with myself so there can be layers and stages of healing.

Andrea Karlovich:

And sometimes in the beginning, when we're awakening and we're learning to see ourselves, we, we get around people who can see us and who have done the work and can be a clean, healthy mirror you know, that's um, a therapist, a coach, a counselor or you know, a community of people who are doing work and they can see into the angel within us and they can reflect that back to us and it helps. It's a healing experience to receive that and get to witness that. That's the beauty. The slippery slope of it is we can get really attached to people who can see us when we can't see ourselves. We can get dependent and codependent on needing them and we can fall into patterns of all the things, the pleasing and and get needy like we need to be seen and that person can see us and so we'll bend over backwards and do you know, whatever we can, it's not the slippery slope we have to be careful with that it's healing to be in community and to be with somebody who can see us and receive that medicine.

Andrea Karlovich:

But the key is to not project ourselves back onto them but to just say thank you and to work on going inward and see ourselves.

Andrea Karlovich:

So there's beauty and magic in both and the balance is being able to have it and receive it. But the goal is to be able to give it to ourselves, be able to see ourselves. And the more that we do that for ourselves, the more we can be able to give it to ourselves, be able to see ourselves, and the more that we do that for ourselves, the more we can be a clean, pure mirror and reflect others back to themselves. And then we also know that if somebody's projecting back onto us, you know, and becoming needy, we can give them their power back and say nope, it's not me, I was just seeing you Go back, you know center, back into yourself.

Andrea Karlovich:

You got this, and that's a huge part of my work is I believe in empowerment and being in this position.

Kena Siu:

That was exactly what I was going to say. It's the thing it's giving to people, the empowerment them taking that responsibility for it, but at the same time, same time, they take back their own power and stop giving it away. Yeah, that's the only way we can actually be free, because freedom comes from within, as safety comes from within, as love comes from within yeah, exactly, and community can help us access it sometimes, especially in the beginning, when it's really hard to access it for ourselves.

Andrea Karlovich:

But the key is to be with mentors, to be with people who are healed enough within themselves that they don't need you to give your power away to them. Exactly, they don't need you to be their guru or their hero or anything like that, because they know who they are and they can give your power back to you. When you fall into the pattern of giving it away and I had both, because that was my pattern or what I was raised to give my power to my mom that she knew better than I did on the healing journey, like I came across. You know healers and therapists and you know coaches. Some were able to do that for me and others weren't.

Andrea Karlovich:

Others weren't and they would kind of eat it up and you know, like kind of take the power, but I got to a point where I then advocated for it for myself, and so, as far as being in the, having the honor and privilege of guiding others through their healing journey that's a huge core pillar of where I come from is making sure that I give my power back to my clients and I say like you know, I want you to graduate, I want you to become your own coach and facilitator and healer and and guide, and to recognize that your answers come from within. You know I can shine a light and guide you and, yes, I'm also very intuitive and can have downloads as well but the key is for you to come to it yourself, and so I feel like that's huge and I love that. That's where you come from too.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, no, yeah, thank you for sharing that, because, yeah, we want them to graduate. We don't want them here all our lives. It's cool to have clients, yeah, you know, but no, I want you to be independent. Than we know how to heal ourselves, and then learning different methodology from different people. Then we take whatever works best for us and then we can become our own coaches. Yeah, yes, of course we still have some support, because we always need to keep you know, okay, we keep growing and evolving, but it's just at least not having that dependency of someone like saying, okay, this is, there's an earthquake now, okay, what practices can I take so then I can come back home, come back to feel safe?

Andrea Karlovich:

yeah, exactly right, and you know everybody's unique and um, certain things will work for certain people, but I always like to say, make it your own filter through you, through your nervous system, through your body, through your story, and and make it yours. Make what tools, what healing tools, work for you, for you. And yeah, yeah, I feel like that's important and I think, with the support, like the support is amazing and the self-support is also amazing, and learning how to navigate what is needed in the season is important to honor you know, to recognize where you're coming from you know is it coming from that place of giving power away?

Andrea Karlovich:

Is it coming from a place of you know? Do you need to come home to yourself and sit with yourself? Are you afraid of sitting with yourself and finding your own answers right now? You know and to recognize that. So it's a dance, I feel like it's a dance journey of especially through different seasons of growth yeah oh my god yes, all day.

Kena Siu:

Oh yeah, we can keep going, no worries, I'm sure you're gonna be back. I'm throwing away the ball of the next invitation, that's for sure, thank you oh wow, this has been wonderful. I have learned a lot again. I love your energy. Your wisdom is wow and I'm really very, very grateful of having you here, and I'm sure that whoever is listening also is going to appreciate much all what you have shared, and I would like to know if you would like to share something before we close this session, this interview yeah, um, there's.

Andrea Karlovich:

There's one thing that keeps dropping in and it's actually an exercise, and so I must be guided to share it. So, especially picking backing from the discussion about self versus working with others, um, so there is a powerful exercise that I do in groups with others, but it's also super powerful to do it with yourself, and it's an exercise of in a practice of seeing yourself, truly seeing yourself. So the exercise is to go into the mirror and see the beautiful soul standing before you, see the woman and if there's any men listening, or the man, um, in the mirror before you, and stand in front of that mirror and declare to that being in front of you and say these exact words I'm here to be seen. And you tell yourself, looking into the mirror, I am here to be seen. And you tell yourself, looking into the mirror, I am here to be seen. You say that out loud. Then get a little closer to the mirror and see yourself.

Andrea Karlovich:

Look into your eyes and look for that angel in the marble, look for the loving essence, for the loving essence, the soul essence, the eternal being.

Andrea Karlovich:

That is who you really are, and take your time to see it and feel it and when you feel connected to seeing her or him, then say out loud and I see you, and receive that, receive the energy of declaring that connecting to seeing yourself, and then say back to yourself and I see you, then receive it, feel it and stay centered with your heart, stay centered with yourself and from there, if it feels authentic, just close your eyes and drop in and stay connected with yourself and keep seeing yourself inwardly, see your value, see your energy, your essence, your presence and give that to yourself.

Andrea Karlovich:

And if you want to say anything out loud or inwardly and just tell yourself what you're seeing, do it and then, when it feels good, you can complete. And if you want to write anything down about what came forward or how you were seeing and valuing yourself, seeing your value, do it and then use that as a practice. It can be a daily practice or it can be, you know, once a week. It can be whatever feels true and authentic for you. The more you practice giving yourself back to yourself and seeing yourself, magic happens, magic happens, and so that exercise is super powerful.

Kena Siu:

It's amazing to do in group with others, but it's very powerful to do with yourself well, well, I was just like reflect, like imagining myself doing that at the mirror and at one point, my at the end. But you said you are being seen like I see you my throat.

Andrea Karlovich:

Just I felt that I it closed, so I'm definitely gonna do that practice beautiful, and if that happens, if the throat closes or if anything comes up that doesn't feel good, just welcome it. Let it be okay and know that just showing up to the mirror and showing up to do that is enough and whatever comes forward is just coming forward to be welcomed and love it is, and if there's no agenda, it just might metabolize yes, yeah, so I'm just.

Kena Siu:

That was what was present oh, yes, no, beautiful, it's a beautiful practice and, yeah, thank you. Thank you, yeah, you're welcome. Would you like to share where some people find you?

Andrea Karlovich:

Yes, definitely. You can go to my website, andreacarlovichcom, and my last name, Karlovich, is like three words in one car with a K K-A-R, love and itch I-C-H, so love at the middle, andreacarlovich. com. So my website is where you can find me, and also on Instagram, same thing at andreacarlovich. So come reach out, we'd love to connect thank you.

Kena Siu:

Oh yes, we're gonna be. Uh yeah, sharing the links in the in the show notes as well, and just to close what is a simple pleasure that you enjoy.

Andrea Karlovich:

A simple pleasure. I mean just the first thing that dropped in is an embodiment practice of moving the way that feels good. So I like to move my body and my energy in a way that feels good. That helps me get in touch with pleasure, because if I'm go-go-go, if I'm not connected, like pleasure, like what, yeah, yeah. So a practice for me to open to that energy is, um is to move my body and especially the spine. So the spine is really connected to the nervous system and so I like to move it in a rhythm and a flow that kind of connects to all the chakras, and so it's just like a little it can be as short as like a little two to five minute practice to really drop in and get into my body and it makes me more open and receptive and I feel like that is allowing the energy of pleasure so that's what's been present for me with.

Andrea Karlovich:

With that, at least for now.

Kena Siu:

I love it. Yes, yeah, bringing the energy of pleasure to the body the best thing yeah, I can relate.

Andrea Karlovich:

Yes, yeah, it has. The body has to be open and ready to move and explore. And, you know, I like to ask myself, okay, what feels authentic, like, what feels what feels good, what feels real, and then I'll express it with the voice too, just to get all the energy moving. And, um, yeah, centers, and I feel like I'm open to receiving more when I do that too. So yes, oh thank you you love it.

Andrea Karlovich:

Oh, thank you so much you were such an amazing host. Connecting with you felt so good and, oh, sharing some pieces of my story and seeing you tear up, I was like, oh no, I'm going to tear up too. So it's just so lovely, you are so beautiful and I could feel your heart and your presence holding space. So thank you so much, thank you.

Kena Siu:

It is, yeah, it's a pleasure, seriously yeah.

Andrea Karlovich:

Oh my God, it's more than we think, right.

Speaker 3:

Oh, wow, yeah, oh my god oh wow, oh my god oh man yeah so much, love so much love.

Kena Siu:

Yes, yeah, thank you this. Wow, I knew that one of the things actually about podcasting is well, I'm gonna post this. They don't need to know these things.

Podcasts we love

Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.

Inner Spark Artwork

Inner Spark

Casey Taton
A Beautiful Fix Artwork

A Beautiful Fix

Tracy Hill