#15 - How Lack of Self-Worth Silently Shapes Your Life (And How to Take Your Power Back)

In this empowering solo episode of Midlife Butterfly, Kena dives into the sneaky ways a lack of self-worth might be running your life without you even noticing. From people-pleasing to shrinking yourself in rooms, this is a loving wake-up call to midlife women who are ready to reclaim their joy, rewrite old programs, and live unapologetically aligned. Kena shares 3 practical mindset shifts you can start using right now to begin healing the unworthiness wound and coming back home to your truth.

Whether you're navigating divorce, life transitions, or simply awakening to your deeper self, this episode is for you.

🦋 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• What self-worth really is (spoiler alert: it's not self-esteem)
• Subtle signs you may be operating from low self-worth
• How your childhood, culture, and conditioning shaped your “good girl” programming
• Why your people-pleasing, perfectionism, and over-apologizing are survival responses—not your truth
• Three simple but powerful shifts to start reclaiming your self-worth today:
• A reminder that you are already worthy, simply because you exist
• An invitation to go deeper with Kena’s self-paced mini-coaching session: How to Stop Feeling Not Good Enough and Reclaim Your Worth.

🔮 Reflection Questions:

• Where in your life are you still seeking external validation to feel worthy?
• What’s one small boundary you can set today that honors your truth?
• If you fully believed you were worthy—right now—what would you say yes or no to?

I created a mini-coaching session called "How to Stop Feeling Not Good Enough and Reclaim your Worth." It's a bite-sized coaching experience you can complete in about 45 minutes at your own pace to help break free from this cycle and embody your worthiness. Check it out here!

You can find all the podcast details right here: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/podcast

Download the Midlife Butterfly Guide with 5 Radical Practices to Heal, Take Your Power Back & Rise

Follow Kena on Instagram: @kenasiu

Join the Midlife Butterfly Community: http://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifebutterfly

For Coaching, Courses & More Visit Kena's Website: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/workwithme

Request a Free Empowered Call with Kena if you're interested in working with her: https://midlifebutterfly.ca/empoweredsession

Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

Chapters

• 0:01 Welcome and Introduction to Self-Worth
• 1:03 Signs Your Self-Worth Needs Attention
• 2:41 Origins of Self-Worth Issues
• 4:21 Three Powerful Shifts for Healing
• 8:54 Mini Coaching Session Invitation
• 10:35 Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

Kena Siu: 0:01

Hello, beautiful soul, welcome back to Midlife Butterfly Podcast, where you break free from all stories and step into your fullest, most radiant self. Today we're talking about something that might be running the show in your life without you even realizing it your self-worth. You even realize in it your self-worth. You might think self-worth is just about confidence of self-esteem, but let me tell you, my dear, it's much more deeper than that. It shows up in the way you let people treat you, the way you talk to yourself, the way you hold back from the life you truly want. And today I'm going to show you exactly how your lack of self-worth, is sneaking into your life and how to start shifting it, starting now. So how to know if this is you? Let's get real here.

Kena Siu: 1:12

Have you ever caught up yourself doing any of this? You say yes when you really want to say no. You over-explain yourself even when no one asks. You struggle to take up space in a room, within a conversation or with your relationships. You tend to apologize for things that don't even belong to you. You attract relationships where you feel unseen and unappreciated. You work so hard to be liked and accepted, but deep down, you feel exhausted. If you're nodding your head. Now believe me that you are not alone. A lot of us struggle with self-worth, and I really know what it's like to feel that you have to earn your place Like your worth depends on what others do right, no, sorry and what you do for others. And that's not the case, because this is the truth. Your worth is not up for debate. It has never been up for debate.

Kena Siu: 2:41

So where did this start? Let's go deep in this, because through these many things, I mean everything. But I say it's a program, it's a pattern, it's a condition that we follow. So maybe, just maybe, you grew up feeling like love had to be earned through achievements, through being the good girl, through always making others happy. Or maybe you had a parent or a teacher who made you feel that you were too much or not enough Right, either if it's very subtle with their words or sometimes it's harsh Right. Or maybe society, culture, religion told you that putting yourself first was selfish and you believed it. This is a program, and this happens more often with women. And here is the shift the version of you that's always proving pleasing and perfecting, that's not the real you. That's not. That's just a version of you that learned how to survive, and now it's time to drive right there. Yes. So how do we start rewriting this story? It's simpler than you think, but it takes intention, really.

Kena Siu: 4:28

And here I'm going to show you three powerful shifts which you can start applying right away to start reprogramming, rewiring your brain from that lack of self-worth. The first one is shift your self-talk. Every time you cast yourself, you catch yourself saying I'm not good enough, I'm too much, I can't do this. Stop, pause. I can't do this. Stop Pause. And replace it with one of these sentences or affirmations, whatever you want to call it. I am learning to see my worth in a new way. I understand that I am worthy simply because I exist. I no longer need permission to take up space. These are just three options, but you can create an affirmation or a sentence that really resonates with you and your inner vocabulary and, of course, with positive words. This is the time we stop trashing ourselves, so be very aware of that self-talk.

Kena Siu: 6:00

Another shift that you can do is set micro-boundaries, and let's start that today. Okay, I'm going to challenge you today to say no to something small that doesn't serve you anymore. Okay, maybe it's declining a request to something you're doing Maybe it's speaking up at the meeting that you are attending, or even just pausing before over explaining yourself, or pausing before you want to say yes when you really want to say no. Be very aware and every time, just honor your boundaries. Every time you do it, tell yourself I am worthy, yes, because you are worthy. At the beginning it might feel a bit of ah, like contraction inside the body, but it's just about keep practicing. So your body, your nervous system, just about keep practicing. So your body, your nervous system, get familiar with this new you that is emerging, the new you that is good at setting boundaries because you know you're worthy. Okay.

Kena Siu: 7:22

And the third thing that you can do is to ask game-changing questions. And here is one If I truly believe I was worthy, what will I do differently today? Here goes again If I truly believed I was worthy, what would I do differently today? Would you speak differently to yourself and to others? Would you take a risk to do something adventurous and new? Would you finally invest in yourself time or money and more energy? So I hope these three different ideas would help you start shifting, rewiring that programming of lack of self-worth, because that unworthiness doesn't belong to you again. You are worthy just by existing, by being here right now. Right now.

Kena Siu: 8:40

And if this episode spoke to you and if you want to go a little bit deeper, I created a mini coaching session called how to Stop Feeling Not Good Enough and Reclaim your Worth. And it's a mini coaching, like a bite size of a coaching. It takes around 40, 45 minutes for you to do it at your own pace. To go deeper without me being live with you because it's a low cost investment. Be in life with you because it's a low cost investment. And from here you can really break free from this cycle and start embodying more and more that worthiness. Because just with these little tips that I gave you before, if you start putting them into practice, I'm sure you're going to want more. So I'm going to share the link in the show notes and I love you to join that mini coaching session.

Kena Siu: 9:47

I'm very grateful you are here.

Kena Siu: 9:49

I appreciate your time, and not for me but for you, because for you taking the time to listen to this kind of podcast of empowerment and spirituality and by nourishing your soul over and over again, you're investing in yourself to feel better, to live better and for your growth and evolution and to come back to your truth, to here home, to your heart, to your soul. Until next time, I send you lots of love as usual and let's stay connected and remember that your worth was never in question.

Kena Siu: 10:51

Hit the follow button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you love to listen, so you'll never miss the magic. If you're feeling generous, drop a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps this empowering content reach more souls ready to transform their lives. And don't forget to take a photo of you while listening and share it on your socials. You can tag me at KenAsYou so I can celebrate you and your expansion. Until next time, keep spreading those wings and living in joy, growth and pleasure.