Midlife Butterfly: Self-Discovery, Women Empowerment & Life Transitions

#20 - From Force to Flow: Feminine Energy, Inner Child Healing & Manifestation with Raivon LeToyia

• Kena Siu • Episode 20

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What if midlife isn't a crisis... but an invitation?

In this deeply raw and liberating conversation, I’m joined by the radiant Raivon LeToiya—a Manifesting Guide, Intuitive Bodyworker, and host of The Energetic Glow Up Podcast. Together, we dive into the sacred, messy, magical space of midlife awakening.

This episode is for the woman who feels the pull to rediscover herself, reclaim her joy and sensuality, and finally feel whole—no more people-pleasing, no more pretending. Just realignment, reparenting, and a return to your feminine truth.

🦋 In this episode we explore:

  • What it really means to reclaim your feminine energy
  • Healing the inner child as a gateway to wholeness and emotional freedom
  • Why manifesting isn’t just mindset—it's an emotional and energetic process
  • The power of reparenting yourself with compassion and radical self-acceptance
  • How to stop living for others and start embodying your authentic self
  • Releasing the need to control, and learning to trust the Universe as your masculine
  • How understanding your menstrual and moon cycles helps you live in flow
  • Moving from trauma-driven behavior into deep soul alignment
  • Why your shadows and triggers are powerful portals to healing
  • The shift from manifesting from lack to manifesting from overflow
  • Living as your full, radiant self—without guilt, shame, or apology


✨ You can find Raivon:

Website: https://www.energeticglowup.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheEnergeticGlowUp

Podcast: https://www.energeticglowup.com/listen-to-the-energetic-glow-up-podcast

Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theenergeticglowup/ 


🦋 Reflection Questions:

  1. In what ways have I abandoned my feminine energy to feel safe or accepted?
  2. What does the little girl within me still need to hear or receive from me today?
  3. What am I ready to release in order to manifest a life that feels like me?


Let this episode be a permission slip to unravel and rise, to remember and reclaim.

You’re not who you were—and that’s the magic. You’re remembering. Keep choosing you, my love. Always.

With so much love,
Kena 💜🦋

- - - - -

You can find all the podcast details right here: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/podcast

Download the Midlife Butterfly Guide with 5 Radical Practices to Heal, Take Your Power Back & Rise

Follow Kena on Instagram: @midlifebutterfly

Join the Midlife Butterfly Community: http://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifebutterfly

For Coaching, Courses & More Visit Kena's Website: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/workwithme

Request a Free Empowered Call with Kena if you're interested in working with her: https://midlifebutterfly.ca/empoweredsession


Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

Kena Siu:

What if midlife isn't a crisis? but an invitation to reclaim your feminine power, heal that little girl within and manifest a life that feels like youth. In this episode, we are diving deep into the art of shifting from force to flow, reparting our inner child and unlocking the emotional magic behind true manifesting. So get cozy, gorgeous, because we're going in Midlife butterfly. A woman in the sacred, in between. She's not who she once was and not quite who she's becoming. Yet she's unraveling, awakening, remembering. She's navigating life transitions, divorce loss, reinvasion moves, with a burning desire for freedom, joy and solid living. She feels the pull to rise, to fly. She's no longer afraid of her own wings. So welcome back to the Midlife Butterfly Podcast.

Kena Siu:

We have a very special guest today, raven LaToya, and she's a manifesting guide, energetic lifestyle creator, intuitive body worker and host of the Energetic Glow Up Podcast, and I'm going to let her share a bit more about her story. And, as you might already guessed, as the introduction of the question of this podcast, we are talking today about reclaiming feminine energy, reparenting and healing the inner child and manifesting as an emotional process. So stay tuned because this is gonna get very juicy and later raven. I send it to pass it to you now, so if you would like to share your story before we dive in in these super juicy topics, okay, first of all, thanks for having me on.

Raivon LeToiya:

I am honored to be here and to actually have like a conversation with someone and an audience that I feel will understand where I'm coming from. So I am a mid life getting there, um, woman who I was married for or in a relationship for 16 years. I was married for 13 of those years and I was a stay-at-home mom for 10 years. I had a pretty content life until one day.

Raivon LeToiya:

I like, how you say, midlife is a calling. I feel like I had a midlife awakening, for sure, and I just like woke up to the fact that, while I was content that there was more, I realized that I was more than just the mom. I'm a woman. I um, and I have a purpose, and I just began to to get signs and lean into that um, to the calling of wanting to, like give my inner child what she didn't have growing up, but also to embrace the side of myself as a feminine that I had suppressed for so long, coming from a very religious background. And so, yeah, I ended up starting the podcast and using my voice and being seen which has always been terrifying for me as a people pleaser and just someone who always put others before myself.

Kena Siu:

Oh, wow, now I understand what we connected through history. Okay, I can relate to all of those things. Yes, like each of them. Wow, oh, my goodness, wow, yeah, yes, okay, so I well, I was also married for 10 years and I went through kind of like what you just mentioned. You know, healing the, the inner child, was one of the main things. So understanding our wounds that's how we can start really the healing process. And understanding our behaviors and our you know patterns, right, and everything else. And also from there I also died into the feminine energy, because I didn't realize how much disconnected I was from my feminine, that I was on the doing all the time, and how that also affected my relationship, not only with everyone else and my partner, but with myself. It's just insane.

Raivon LeToiya:

Exactly. Wow, it really is.

Kena Siu:

It really is.

Raivon LeToiya:

It was so much healing that needed to be done and I feel like 2023, pluto moved into Aquarius for a bit and I'm not really into astrology, but I know there was a big shift in March of that year and, um, it was just like all of it the femininity, the inner child healing. It was really releasing my inner child to be who she was always meant to be and reparenting her, um to be her most authentic self, so that I could radiate pure energy to the universe and that way I can manifest what was best for me instead of manifesting what was best for everyone else. Being a people pleaser, I was just sending out mixed energy from all of these different sources because I was trying to be what I thought they needed me to be. So I never really was sending out my own energy to get back what was would truly feed my soul. And, yeah, doing that was huge because I was a people pleaser, a peacekeeper, codependency, anxiously attached, like all of those things.

Raivon LeToiya:

That was my identity, and so the only way that I could really truly choose myself was to envision myself as a child, because I feel like we all have a special place for children, right, and I could never neglect a child. I can neglect myself as an adult. But when I saw little Ravon in my mind's eye and I would have a choice between staying married, which meant my partner wasn't getting what I think he deserved, I was not fully living as my truest self. And I would look at him in my mind's eye and then myself, my little Ravon. And how could I look at her and choose someone else? Like she kept me on the path towards healing because otherwise I don't feel I would have had the courage to do it.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, oh wow. You talk about reparenting. What do you mean with that?

Raivon LeToiya:

So reparenting? What do you mean with that so reparenting? So I think, as children, we have the parents that we have, or that we choose, however you want to look at it, and there are things that we don't receive from the adults in our lives well-meaning adults, you know, adults who love us deeply but they don't give us what we need to grow into our most authentic selves or to remain our most authentic selves. I think we all come in to this universe um whole and we um are slowly stripped away of our wholeness or energetic baggage is added onto us, and so we're weighed down by this heavy energy, just so that we can feel love and seen and wanted and that was my wounding was around, I had all the financial support, but emotionally I wasn't given the emotional support and I wasn't seen and I never felt safe enough to use my voice authentically.

Raivon LeToiya:

I learned early on that I could say certain things that would, that would allow me to be accepted. So I would. And so reparenting myself was giving little me the space to be heard, to know that she, even if she didn't do a thing, that she was still loved, that she could just really trust, that she would always be okay and wanted and, um, it really it was acceptance. I had this rejection or fear of abandonment, and so I always showed up for her and I still do to let her know that I'm here. Also, the universe source is here with me, like I'm not alone in this, in this world. It's a co-creation and letting go of control, which is the feminine energy.

Raivon LeToiya:

Healing is that I am co-creating and that helped me to lean and surrender into the feminine aspects of me as well, because as a child I was the oldest of four I performed as a caregiver and so I did all things to help raise my siblings, and so that was more of a masculine flow and I was in that flow in my marriage and I enjoyed it, because that's all I knew until, like that, 2023.

Raivon LeToiya:

I was like I want to be held, like I want to be able to. Like you know, people go camping and they say, okay, you keep watch and I'll sleep, and then the other part, they take turns, and so, even though I had a very supportive partner financially, I never felt like I could actually go to sleep and know that everything is going to be just okay, okay, just, I just need like five minutes to completely fall apart if I need to, but I know that it's going to be okay. And so I got to the point where that's I was craving that surrender. I didn't want to be in control anymore, yeah, and so now the universe is like my partner, he's my, he's my masculine, so that I can remain in my feminine. So I have this like relationship with the universe where I know I'm taken care of and we're co-creating something beautiful.

Kena Siu:

Oh my God, I love that. Okay, hold on because I have other questions. Let's just see here. Okay, I love what you said, that, as you said, we came here as whole, and that's the thing I mean I've been part of. Our human experience here is actually then getting those, getting back to that wholeness that we are once we come back, and that's why it's part of our job to actually heal that inner child and reparenting. I love how you express what you did and how it is it and how important it is to see ourselves again as that little child because, yes, as you said, as adults we understand it now, but if we don't go back to that little kid and talk, to Talk to her, to him again and explain what happened, right, right, yes, as an adult we say we understand it, but now our bodies don't.

Raivon LeToiya:

Yes, I know, because we've been living from that space for so long. They're trauma driven behaviors. So why am I this way? That's not me. That's a behavior that I took on to feel safe and seen and to do what I needed to do at the time. But I don't have to do that anymore and it's crazy huge. It's so big and I'm very intentional with my own children, with teaching them or just helping them to remember who they are and not strip that away from them so that they don't have to do the unlearning later on in life like I'm having to do.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, I love that and one of the things that I have experienced in the past few years is that acceptance that you said how important it is, and one of the things that I came to understand most was like I thought I accepted myself but then I noticed I was accepting only my light. But when I start digging into the shadow, that's when it gets very interesting, because we are taught not to look to that, I know right.

Raivon LeToiya:

It's like what are you?

Kena Siu:

gonna know if people already rejected. Of course, as as a default, I'm gonna reject those things of myself, so why do I have to go there? But until we don't dig in on those and then, accept it as well and say yeah, I am all this yes, how beautiful, it is right this and be okay with it exactly, embrace it, welcome. It is what it makes the whole difference, or yes?

Raivon LeToiya:

it really feeling that wholeness for sure, and I think, because I do come from a religious background, I realized that. So I call it Eden energy, like the garden of Eden. Before the thing happened, we ate from the tree, or whatever, so the tree that I see that fruit as being judgment fruit. We ate fruit that started having us label things as good and bad when really I think everything's pretty neutral. We give meaning to all things in our life. Some people love rain and some people hate rain. It's the same rain, and so the first thing they did when they ate from the tree was judge themselves. They said we're naked, and it was like their vulnerability was judged immediately, and I think the judgment that we're supposedly being saved from, as far as Christianity goes, is judgment of ourselves. Because we have this deep wound of just, we judge ourselves but then we judge others. Because we have this deep wound of just, we judge ourselves but then we judge others because we judge ourselves.

Raivon LeToiya:

It's kind of like a this cycle cycle yes, and so when we return to before we ate and we don't have to keep eating the fruit, you know we can stop and just drop all judgment and life just is. And so the shadow part of me that I always, always tried to suppress, like even with intimacy in my marriage, I, you know, we're taught don't do it, it's bad. You know all of our life. And then you're married and you're supposed to just do it all the time, you know. So it's a real, this whole feminine sensuality part that I had to heal. But I would see that as being bad. Or if I'm upset, like anger is okay and and honestly, our shadows can heal us, it's almost as if they come in. So, for example, I got really angry after my divorce and I yelled and said bad words and did all the things not bad words, but my kids don't say bad words.

Raivon LeToiya:

And I felt it was like an out-of-body experience, but it was the most healing thing I had ever done. I spoke up for myself and for me that crazy angry conversation. It woke something up in myself that I had been suppressing my whole life. So I feel like the shadow is going to be different for everyone and alignment is personal. So that was aligning for me that ability to speak my truth in that way, even if I used wording that I wouldn't typically use, even if I would have labeled it as bad previously, it was exactly what I needed. So that shadow side of myself healed me. It was like it was alchemized, I guess, into the whole of who I am. And so, yeah, shadow for sure, embrace it all, don't label things, they just are. And I feel like when you're in alignment and you're connected with your, with yourself, your higher self, your inner child, that it all serves a greater purpose.

Kena Siu:

Yes, yeah, wow, yeah. You're so right with that that we give meaning to everything. Yes, and that's the thing when we get to understand. Everything is neutral. As you said, people like rain, other people don't like rain, and what it could be good for me could be bad for you exactly, exactly.

Raivon LeToiya:

We don't need external rules anymore, um to to tell us how to live. We have, like, our inner voice, our inner being, or some call it the holy spirit. Like we, we were given the holy spirit back to the religious part, but I'm not religious, but we were given that holy spirit to be our inner guide. We don't need the, the commandments and the external rules because we have this deep connection, like we did in eden when source was with us in the garden. When Jesus came back, we got that connection to source too. We don't need a middleman, we don't need external rules. We're all going to be guided um to exactly where we need to be, yeah, and when we do that, it affects everyone around us positively too. I feel like my divorce. Even though my partner did not want the divorce, I know that we both had an opportunity to rise towards our higher selves if we had just said yes to it, if he had said yes the way I did, but that's a part of his journey.

Kena Siu:

Not good, not bad, it's just how it is. Yeah, exactly yeah, I can. Yeah, yeah, even though I'm lucky, whatever, if I can say it that way. Like, yeah, like my divorce it was, when we talk about it, we were on the same page. Yeah, you know, at the same time, it doesn't mean it was not less painful, right, yes, but, as you said, it came like such a liberation at the end and we grow in so different ways, right, and it's so fascinating to see it. Like yeah, I mean, yeah, it was hard, but it was worthy for both of us.

Kena Siu:

Yes, like, yeah, I mean, yeah, it was hard, but it was worthy for both of us, because I mean the time we were meant to be together for our soul, for this soul, you know, I mean how do you call it?

Kena Siu:

Yeah, for all of us souls to grow together until a certain period of time. Then that time it came out, certain period of time, then that time it came out, and then, but now we still, you know, still in touch, and I can see how he's growing and how I am also evolving and and it's beautiful to have to observe. And it's as I said, it's each person's journey. Probably we took it differently at the beginning that you know the grieving process and and stuff, but again it's at the end, it's each of our own journeys and it's about really like honoring and and taking that resilience and courage to really say, yeah, I'm going for it because this is my life and I deserve something good or better and I and I want to create it and and I have the power, and that's why, eventually, we're going to be talking about manifestation.

Raivon LeToiya:

Yes, yes, exactly, yes, exactly All of that yes.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, okay, I love what you said about now that you said that you connected back to your feminine energy, and I want to talk more about that because I'm glad I also did energy, and I want to talk more about that because I'm glad I also did so. I guess this is going to be something very interesting for midlife butterfly listeners, because, I mean, we are so disconnected of that. So let's talk about that. And then I also love how you said that the universe is your masculine. I'm going to take that one now.

Raivon LeToiya:

Yes, oh, oh my gosh, he's like the best partner ever. I tell my now fiance that I am in a polyamorous relationship and like the universe is like the hierarchy. Yes, so we're all in open relationships and you know it's going great. Yes, so what was the first thing? That? The feminine energy. So, yes, that piece, oh my gosh, so right.

Raivon LeToiya:

Being raised in a southern church in america, um, I went to church every single sunday, like all week. The church was started in my home. My dad was a deacon, my mom was a church secretary and I just like anything that has to do with sensuality, femininity, it was just so controlled. You know, I was told if you do this you're bad, god loves you, but you'll go to hell and you'll burn. It was just so confusing. Oh, yeah, I understand, it's like, okay, like I'm terrified now, and so that's why I do say universe sourcears instead of God, sometimes because I had to reframe that relationship. But, yes, my femininity, like I have always been terrified of my body, I've hated my body, I've tried to change it my whole life. I honestly didn't wear a bathing suit until last year. So there is, I know it's insane, insane. And so even in my relationship, though, like sexuality, like to initiate, was not going to happen because it's bad. And if I want something that's bad, then what does that say about me? And just like, I don't know, just feeling like a woman feeling free.

Raivon LeToiya:

There's so much shame and guilt placed on that because they want to control it and anything that is controlled, I think society wants us to feel a certain way about it because there's a subconscious knowing that there's power behind that right. There's power behind our feminine energies, is who we are, and when you try to suppress a part of yourself that is that much of who you are, you will never live in alignment. You're always going to live a life that is them down. And, um, I could not.

Raivon LeToiya:

I was typecasted in my marriage and as much as I tried, I could not break free from that shy, guilt-ridden shame. Like a woman who was ashamed. I was in that relationship from my early twenties until my late thirties and so that was who I was. However, my divorce allowed me to embrace this completely, I guess, healed version of myself, without the shame and without the guilt around my femininity, and also just being able to attract someone who allows me to lean into that femininity and not feel like I need to be in control all the time that's been. I think one of the biggest things is just not being tight past it and, as crazy as it sounds, that's how I feel. I was in my marriage. I was the good girl who did the good things, you know, and so I needed to be free from that, so my divorce was healing yeah, well, yeah, for me I was a mother, you know, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, taking care then.

Kena Siu:

Oh, you're spending so much in here. Oh, take care with your vices, like you're going over too much drinking and yeah, all those things and it's just so tiring because, as you said, then we need to be in that control that I guess I think I don't know you but me. I got fed up of it. I'm like, I'm tired, like I want to really surrender. I cannot do this anymore.

Raivon LeToiya:

Yes, yes, and so I was the, I was the mom, but also I was in control of all the things. So one day I was like I don't want to do the budget anymore. You make money, so you do the budget. It was like just little things like that. I did get fed up. I just don't want to do it anymore, I can't. And even emotional uh, support or boundaries. I felt like everything was poured on me. Everyone's issues, my partner's issues, were poured onto me for me to take, but also I'm trying to swim and keep myself afloat, but there was no one for me to kind of like lean on so that I can take a break from treading water, and so it was a very like just full control mode in every single way, mm-hmm.

Kena Siu:

And I just couldn't do it anymore.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, one of the things that um, yeah, it happened, it was the fact that I started kind of like my spiritual journey, uh, a few years before we separated, and the fact that, I mean, he was listening. He was a good listener, he would listen to me, but then I was trying to explain things that I was experiencing because I was taking a yoga professional, yoga training and then also going into meditation. So I'm trying to explain these things that I was learning, you know, and he will listen to me, like okay, so I'm just gonna give him a chance. Eventually he would probably catch up with me or understand what I'm talking about, right, but that's the thing he was not ready to get into that path exactly, and it's not up to you to have to wait.

Kena Siu:

Yeah well I can say I did wait for a few years, but then I noticed that I he was not ready and I was like I'm so sorry, but I have to move forward because my soul needs more, like you know, and I need to talk to someone who speak that language of my soul. As we just said before we actually started this conversation, we don't have to translate what we're saying, mm. Hmm, exactly, having a partner where we cannot talk the same language in that way at the soul level Right it's? I mean at least for now.

Raivon LeToiya:

For me, it's a big no, no in that relationship where he was my everything Like as far as like outside friendships there were very little, it was just me and him. We didn't have any problems or anything like that. But it just got to the point where I now realized that I don't have to have my partner be my everything. So my journey is a little different to where my fiance, fiance, he he is actually getting on getting on board, but he understands and I think he has the desire to evolve and I think we should always grow throughout life, right, always.

Raivon LeToiya:

It's a non-stop process and just his willingness or desire is enough, right, and so, um, yeah, and so, yes, it's hard to be in a situation where you want that person to come along, but they just are not ready and uh, that's that's, and so being okay, yeah yeah, exactly yeah, it was a liberation for him as well yeah, that's what I.

Raivon LeToiya:

That's what I think too, because my ex remarried within like four months, so he's fine. I think it was a liberation for him as well. Yeah, that's what I. That's what I think too, because my ex remarried within like four months, so he's fine I think it was good for him as well, even though he didn't want it I'm like, look, look, what happened for you.

Kena Siu:

That's a good thing right exactly, yeah yeah, let's talk more about feminine essence come energy. Coming back to that, so after I separated, I joined a program from one of my mentors, sophia Tom Temple Body Arts, and it's when I finally understood how women actually, how we work together with the cycles of the moon. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I was like that was literally, was mind-blowing, like for me. Of course, I hear it before, but it was like right, whatever. And it was. I mean I mean the student is ready, the, the teacher is gonna show us the student is ready, right. So that's why I'm like okay, I'm ready for this, that. And it was just like wow, it shifted my whole life by understanding yeah, what um aspects?

Raivon LeToiya:

if I can ask like did you find most like groundbreaking for you?

Kena Siu:

it was really understanding how our body works according to our cycles, and to say, okay, if I'm in my period, in my menstruation time, it's a pause for my body. I'm in ovulation time.

Raivon LeToiya:

Oh yeah, my energy is to the top, just you know, go for it and really accepting how my body works and respecting it, oh my god yeah, that's true, that is so true, like, and it also shows how connected we are to this universe, because moon cycles are about the same amount length of time as a woman. A woman's cycle, yeah, and sometimes we can sync up. So my cycle I don't know if there's too much information, but like you can ovulate with the new moon and menstruate with the full moon, and things like that, I think what, what am I?

Kena Siu:

what am the white?

Raivon LeToiya:

one. Yeah, I think I just switched to the red. It's crazy because I was white moon and then it switched, like to the red and to the red one.

Raivon LeToiya:

Now yeah, for those who don't know, the red moon is when we ovulate when no, sorry, when we menstruate when we are in a full moon yes, yes, and I just talked about that, I think, on a podcast about how, before electricity, like all women, because of the light and stuff, we're connected to the moon cycles and, um, yeah, honoring our bodies. Like, why do I have to guilt myself for being tired? Um, yeah, at one point maybe I just need to rest. Like why do I fight against that internal feminine, knowing, yes, about what my body needs?

Kena Siu:

yes, yeah, that was one of the yeah, that was yeah, I guess, because I started creating resistance. I'm battling against myself like saying no, I need again it. I guess it's coming back to that, to the masculine energy of saying no, I have to keep going, going, going all the time and no right, we are different. And by honoring and by honoring that, it's just like uh, create. It has created so much ease and flow in my life yeah, because you're not fighting yourself constantly.

Raivon LeToiya:

Exactly, yeah, but it's also nice to have a masculine or a partner who also understands that, um, the balance that we're not the same and we're not supposed to be, but we're equally valuable and there's a balance between the two, and I was, I think the masculine is more about external action and the feminine is more about like, a receiving, an openness and a being uh, our intuition, you know, and within the womb, and uh, there's so much power there, and that's why I feel like having shame and guilt around that feminine energy limits our ability to fully align and manifest, because we're fighting it, we're fighting our own power.

Kena Siu:

Yes, I would like to talk more about our wounds and our feminine energy, because most of us, we don't know.

Raivon LeToiya:

Yeah, I don't even know where to begin. I mean it. One thing I know is that a lot that goes on within the feminine, even scientifically, is internal. Uh, you can't see it, it's not seen, uh, but it's. It's when a baby's made or, for example, is being created. You cannot see what's going on, but it's manifesting and then one day it comes into the physical and it. That reminds me of manifestation, or having belief that the thing that you want is on the way. Before it comes into the physical, it already exists, and so we.

Raivon LeToiya:

It's important for women, I think, to really turn inside of ourselves and look for guidance from within, because we have so much wisdom and power and knowledge within us that we're taught to ignore or to disregard, or we're too emotional, but again, those things that they make us feel guilty for or society wants us to feel shame about, that's our power, those emotions and that guidance. And it doesn't always mean that you need to react to every emotion you have, but to become aware of how you're feeling, to get curious about your emotions, because I believe that's the guidance from your inner voice, guiding you towards or away from uh, people places things, healing, whatever it may be. It all comes from within and our emotions are the energy that we radiate to the universe to be matched um to to, to manifest. So that's our power. So feel as emotional as you need to to be, because that is the way that the universe speaks to us.

Kena Siu:

So, in a few words, what you meant is like for us to search for those, for that guidance is really to tune in with our emotions.

Raivon LeToiya:

Yes, for sure, for sure. That's how I ended up here, to stop suppressing that little urge like is there more for me? Or like do I stay or do I go? It's like there's always a fear. I think fear will pop up, but typically fear is a tool for survival, and if you're not, if your life's not at risk, then you can just kind of peek behind fear. I like to look behind the fear that I feel, and usually it's everything, it's the answer to everything I want behind the fear. So fear serves a purpose, but it's's for survival. It is not to be, you're not to live by fear, and so, yes, your emotions are guidance.

Kena Siu:

They're like our internal gps, I would say, towards our abundance yeah thing is unfortunately, we were not taught how to feel our emotions. Yes, we were taught to suppress. Yeah, and that's the issue that I that I have like faced with you know, with people that I know, and also with my clients, is the fact that they don't know how to experience their emotions. Like they, there's fear in there because we don't know what's going to happen.

Raivon LeToiya:

Right, right, interesting, because we are definitely taught how to like, suppress. I remember being a child. I feel like the only acceptable emotions are contentment and being happy. Yeah, like those are the only two that you can really lean into.

Kena Siu:

I feel and, um, I need to reconnect and how to feel and the fear of feeling that's, that's deep, yeah yeah, one of the things that that I learned, like at the beginning was more like okay, let's, I'm just gonna stay with this emotion right for for a minute just to see what happens.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, exactly just to see what happens. And and then you know if I would have liked it would just stop it, or if I really was like, okay, let's just feel it, let let's skip in there, because I don't know. They say scientifically it says that an emotion actually lasts 90 seconds. So I was like, okay, this is very interesting. But then I mean, if it's really that emotion, but if we carry that emotion for how many years or decades, then is it really 90 seconds? I wonder, because I have, yeah, you know, it's like now, it's literally now.

Kena Siu:

I'm like I'm feeling this okay, let's go, we need to try, we're gonna cry, we need to laugh. I'm gonna yes, you know I don't suppress them anymore, right, but then yes, yeah, so I get curious about my emotions.

Raivon LeToiya:

So sometimes I feel things and I'm not even sure why I will feel things. And that's also comes around like new moon, full moon you know those cycles and how the full moon can illuminate emotions and make you feel things more strongly. Who get curious about the emotion and also realize that a lot of times when I feel something it's not the person, place or thing that triggered their emotion? That's the problem.

Raivon LeToiya:

It is a sign to that I still need to heal something normally um so my rejection wound came up this last, I don't know full moon relate to that. Yes, oh, my, um, my ex did not want to speak verbally about the kids, and so that's fine, like it's my, but the the intensity of the motion didn't match what the trigger. Right, I shouldn't have felt it so deeply, but I sat with it for a while. I'm like, why am I feeling this so strongly? We won't get it together, but it's that, that child, my inner child, feeling rejection, and so it's just the opportunity to, kind of like, build that muscle to to heal, to remember that, yes, I'm on a journey and I'm not going to just one day not have anything to grow towards. And so I reminded myself that I was enough and that it's okay. If you know, if that person doesn't want to speak to me, it doesn't say anything about who I am.

Raivon LeToiya:

And so these emotions that come up, we don't always have to react to them, but just I like to ask like what is this trying to show me? Like what needs to be healed, or there's something deeper here and I might not be able to place it, but eventually I will get the answer that I need yeah, I love that, because by asking why is this trying to show me?

Kena Siu:

or what can I learn from here, from here, we take out our victimhood. So you say, you know, because it's literally a trigger, yes, but he's like okay, this is triggering me. So it's like so what's happening here? Right, what?

Raivon LeToiya:

is it? Yeah, exactly what is it that is within me, what you?

Kena Siu:

really have to be curious. Yeah, exactly what is it that is within me? What do I have to look at it so that I need to heal? That is still triggering me, right, yes, yes.

Raivon LeToiya:

And I like to look at triggers as like it's an opportunity.

Kena Siu:

There are opportunities.

Raivon LeToiya:

So it's like you have a bruise and someone pokes it, like that's the trigger. It's just a wound, an old wound that still needs some care, and uh, yeah, it's all I just love I. I get excited sometimes about being triggered because it's like an opportunity. Okay, like how can I like overcome this challenge and level up another level, or to glow up some more, you know? And, uh yeah, emotions get curious about it. You never know what is on the other side of a feeling that we would typically label as negative.

Kena Siu:

But there's no good or bad exactly, and one of the things like I remember when I started like working on my emotions like a lot of people say, label them. I think it's important to label them until certain time, or I don't know. Let's say like I've been through a lot of grief in my life because of the losing of my father and then my divorce and then the breakup of one of my best friends and stuff. So during the grief, grieving process, probably, yeah, because it's okay, it's this, is the anger, this is. You know the different steps in there. But then at one point I'm like I don't know, it's just something in here that needs to come up and like, and at this point I'm like I don't need to label everything exactly because you can become hyper aware and then, like your whole life revolves around it.

Raivon LeToiya:

I had postpartum depression after my son and then I got hyper aware of all my feelings and it just became like this thing of like oh my gosh, I'm feeling this, am I feeling that? But it's like life ebbs and flows. You know, we're women, we have our psych, like we go through this cycle and we feel things.

Kena Siu:

And I don't have to be hypervigilant to the point of self-sabotage or holding myself back, but yes, yeah, and the thing is, sometimes it's a mix of three, four different emotions and you're like what the hell am I gonna label this?

Raivon LeToiya:

yes, exactly, exactly. So much like you don't even know like where it's coming from or what it actually is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kena Siu:

Okay, so let's talk about manifestation now, because I know that's one of the main topics that you talk in your podcast.

Raivon LeToiya:

Yes, manifestation. Where should we go?

Kena Siu:

Okay, well, where do you want to start? I'm going to let you go.

Raivon LeToiya:

Well, abraham Hicks I'm not sure if you're familiar yes, okay, so that is like my main manifestation teacher, I would say.

Raivon LeToiya:

So I just believe that our emotions are the energy that we offer to be matched, and, in order to manifest well, it's important to prioritize our emotional wellbeing, the way that we feel, and we can do that by designing our lives to align with us as authentically as possible, and it's authenticity that will allow us to manifest our highest timeline or our highest abundance.

Raivon LeToiya:

I guess you would say, but you can't live an authentic life if you're unhealed, and you can't live an authentic life If your inner child is carrying this baggage from the past. And so that's where the healing comes in, because to live a life that feels good and that feels authentic, we, we need to heal, we have to grow and we have to move in alignment with where our soul is is calling us, yeah, and so I call it emotive manifestation is manifesting with your emotions and, uh, yeah, the healing part is, I think, the biggest aspect of that, because then you, you meet yourself, maybe for the first time yeah, I love this and I'm so glad what you said about authenticity, because I think it has become such a cliche world at this moment.

Kena Siu:

But, as you said, you cannot be authentic if you don't heal yourself. Yeah, that's so true.

Raivon LeToiya:

Right, you can't get back to the true you that you came as unless you unload all of that heavy baggage. You have to unload it, yes, yeah be baggage you have to unload it.

Raivon LeToiya:

Yes, yeah, and it's. It's, I think, being a feminine, feminine energy, that's a to walk in that authentically and then to uh, not the people pleasing that I have people pleasing or the, the fear being seen, the fear being heard, like all of that, I had so much baggage that was stopping me from being who I truly am. And you can rise. It's like you heal and you can rise. Your vibration, I feel, rises as you begin to strip off all of the unnecessary behaviors and beliefs and ways of being. That's when you manifest, and it's not manifesting things. You're manifesting you.

Raivon LeToiya:

You know you're manifesting your truest self and when you return and you're your truest self in the physical, everything around you just kind of like falls into place. You meet the right people, places, things. You don't have to do anything else. There's no need to vision board or to do all of the external masculine actions around manifestation. You don't need to do anything else. There's no need to vision board or to do all of the external masculine actions around manifestation. You don't need to do that anymore because it happens from within you, within the feminine um. You just manifest by being you and that's the ease and flow um, in that you just receive oh, my god, that's so true.

Kena Siu:

I guess I'm experiencing in the last months like I really feel, like thinking within me and I'm seeing how things are manifesting and, as you said, that manifestation is me, it's really through me and yes, wow, you're the magnet, like you are the magnet. Yes, yeah, it's really, it's really beautiful. It's beautiful because then it's when we say, yeah, the the healing process, like going through the pain and cutting off that suffering anymore and and start living it. I started living the life that I really want to.

Raivon LeToiya:

Yes sometimes we don't even have words to describe the life we want. But when you, you become yourself, I feel like your soul, like soul level, things that maybe you didn't even know you wanted, because you didn't have the words to express that even existed, just come to you because your energy is pure, you're authentic now, and the things that you don't have words for, just law of attraction, you just it just falls into your life. It's the most beautiful experience and I have never felt more alive, like actually, like I'm living and every day is exciting, like I don't really get excited anymore because I think I'm so in sync now that, like every day it's like a scavenger hunt, like what is today gonna bring?

Kena Siu:

it's just so fun to be alive. Yeah, no. And we said like of course it was going to happen. He's like yeah, yeah, wow and of course, of course yes, exactly, exactly, yes.

Raivon LeToiya:

It really is fun. It's like this co-creation and we have, like this, this partner to to do it all with us, like I'll stay on my lane and let the universe stay in their lane and we just, it's beautiful.

Kena Siu:

I think it's very important to understand that we are co-creators, that we're not leaving it to someone, to God, you know, god, universe, earth only. No, it is also a responsibility, as Abraham says, to take inspired action. So then, we can co-create, together with the universe, the life that we want, that we deserve. Yes, exactly that co-creation. Otherwise, we need to take responsibility.

Raivon LeToiya:

Yes, because also, if you're not co-creating, then I'm living in control again. I don't want full controls. I don't want it Like I'm so happy to have this divine colleague that's what I call like this partner that I work with Um.

Raivon LeToiya:

It's a very beautiful thing and back to the Eden energy like the. The first instructions or the first assignment that we got was to be fruitful and multiply, and people apply that only to babies and children, but it's like everything we were put here to like be prosperous and just keep like being abundant in all things and peace and joy, like I manifest. I used to write lists of things that I wanted, but now it's the feeling how do I want my life to feel and I go for that. That's what I want to manifest, and so I just began to feel it now and then the your life kind of like falls in around you, like you're here, you became yourself and all the little pieces just start to like kind of fall in around you. It's it's so freeing and exciting and just. I would never go back, ever.

Kena Siu:

I I don't think we can we can't.

Raivon LeToiya:

When she's seen it and when she felt it like it's impossible, yeah go back yeah, and so no matter what comes my way is happening for me and not to me, so things that I would have labeled as bad, I can always see the purpose in it and I'm like I can see that and my kids do it now, which is amazing.

Raivon LeToiya:

They're like oh, I'm glad that I lost that thing because I got this, or you know, they can like see things as being for them or neutral versus a bad thing, but yeah, yeah, I think it's so.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, I think it's so important to be able to see things from different perspectives and how a simple shift it can just make a huge difference.

Raivon LeToiya:

Yeah, change your whole world? Yes, like it really does, just seeing things and not engaging in certain things from a from a negative perspective.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, the victim thing.

Raivon LeToiya:

I can't deal, I can't deal with the victimhood, because if I'm a victim, that means there's nothing that I can do to change the situation. Can do to change the situation if. If I blame other people for doing something to me and I don't take responsibility, then how can I change anything? But if I can say I did this, so next time I'll do it differently, then I'm in control. Like not control like that, but like there's something that I can shift to um to have a positive effect.

Kena Siu:

I guess yeah, and I think well, when I, when I used to have a positive effect, I guess yeah, and I think, well, I used to be a victim for a long time, but what I didn't realize is, by being so, I was giving my power away Because, as you're saying, you give me your power away, just letting someone like traffic, so I have some friends who get really angry about traffic or someone pulling out in front of them and I'm like, first of all, you're letting that complete stranger take your power away, because now you're lowering your vibration, because you're angry over something that you've probably done a thousand times before.

Raivon LeToiya:

Anyway, I mean, just look at it as, oh, maybe they like saved me from an accident, you know, maybe you know the traffic is slow, so I, you know it's all gonna work out in all this does, because we're here everything's fine exactly.

Kena Siu:

Oh, can I share something, because I got really excited last week when I have a call with one of my clients she shared actually started telling me that the other day she was driving, she went to school to drop off her, her son, and on the way back home, somebody, just, you know, cut her off and then it went slower and she was like, of course, in the beginning she was like you know she was, she reacted and then she was like okay, I'm just gonna pause here.

Kena Siu:

This person is going slower, I don't know what's happening, but it's okay. And then she realized that then they stopped because there was a school bus right on the front and she was like, as you said, there's always a reason. Yes, but she was like me by just saying I don't know what's happening, I don't know what's going on with this person, I'm just gonna calm down, stay in, you know, in my pee, yes, yes. And she was like and of course, my whole day was different. Yes, of course, because then she got home she did the show she needed to do, but in a nice energy flow exactly, instead of, you know, right, trapped because somebody else says I know, you know.

Raivon LeToiya:

So it's like yeah that's awesome because it is yes, it is power away when you, those little things take you out of alignment, like it's happening for me. I don't even understand it, but I'm just gonna say it's happening for me and, um, even if it just keeps you in alignment and connected, that's a win. That's a win.

Kena Siu:

And yeah, it was a huge win for her when she told me it's like that's the thing. I said, like this is the cool thing about empowerment, because it's those little shifts, those are the ones who make the difference.

Raivon LeToiya:

Yes, because you're gonna have a bad life, like people who say they have a bad life, you just one shift. Oh, that's okay. That traffic thing happened, everything's fine, like it just takes you from this anger to this peace. Yes, and yeah, it's a little thing, but it's a big deal.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, because it creates a ripple effect during the rest of your day, right?

Raivon LeToiya:

It does, yeah, it does you attract more of the same Mm-hmm.

Kena Siu:

Mm-hmm. Exactly, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm exactly, yeah, yeah. Um, I have a question regarding again coming back to manifestation. Uh, what's the difference between manifesting from lack versus manifesting from overflow?

Raivon LeToiya:

okay. So manifesting so we're always manifesting, regardless, even if we know it or not. So, manifesting from a lack, I would say, like a lack mindset, you're just going to get more. You're going to get more of the same you. You may be able to manifest like, say, the thing you want, you want more money. But if you come at it from a lack mindset, I believe that to maintain that manifestation will be more difficult because you believe that you need to work hard or you believe that you have to like hustle or grind for that manifestation. But if you come at it from abundance, it's just easier to maintain because you're in alignment and you um, you're meeting the right people. It's like you're in more of a co-creation, I think. When you manifest from abundance, so it's just like everything will fall into place more easily. And it's not the lack, scarcity. I have to do this, I need you to do that, do that. I'm in control, it's all on me. I think that's the difference. Is that the what question that you?

Raivon LeToiya:

were asking yeah, yeah okay, yeah, abundance um sets the tone. It sets the tone that all is well.

Kena Siu:

All is well and you're going to manifest from that place and it always will be and how was for you to to tune in, or what practices did you do to tune into that?

Raivon LeToiya:

abundance. Oh, who was it? I just, I think I built over time a trusting relationship with the universe that allowed me to relax and receive. But you have to build that relationship through, like you would with a human, through uh, communication and um, and like talking to the universe, your inner voice or whatever you want to call it, saying thank you, ask questions, like there's nothing too small that there that we can speak with and connect.

Kena Siu:

So I think it was through trust that I made that shift okay for me was more because I I used to have a mindset, uh, uh and scarcity mindset, for my whole life almost, and what it helped me a lot was to start uh journaling about gratitude oh, okay yeah, I actually. I used to have little booklets like this and I will do it. You know, I will do three to be yes, it's like two, three gratitude you know, everything.

Kena Siu:

So that's how I started, but then it was really cool because it just then started getting like even longer and then right and then more specific, because I know, you know, like I would say I don't know if I would say I'm grateful for my mom, but then I would say I'm grateful that my mom supported me because of this, yes, or you know, I am grateful, I don don't know, that I can write or like, okay, well, I'm grateful actually for my pen and it has different colors.

Kena Siu:

You know, all these little things that I think it made me. No, I think it really did make me realize, like, how abundant I am with those little things that we take usually for granted, right, but it makes life so much easier. Right thing is, a lot of things are all there and they're all free. A couple of like three, four weeks ago, like I was still by the beach and I was just standing outside in front of the ocean, I was like this is like full abundance all the water, the sunlight, the sand, the wind. Like it can get more abundant. Like right is.

Kena Siu:

You know exactly, so you think your abundance grew, like as you healed.

Raivon LeToiya:

I feel like once we become more of our true selves, we can see. I don't know you see with new eyes. It's like the world becomes alive. Yeah the veils stop dropping. Yeah, exactly, exactly that's it. Yes, that's it. We return to that original state, more closely to the original state, and then we can like yeah, the little things. It's like, wow, this is amazing, like the trees and just how it all works. Like there's a, there's a rock in the sky called the moon. It's like this being in existence is mind blowing.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, yeah, and then, as you said, like noticing all those big things the universe, the sun and then noticing like I'm like this, like what am I making all this big deal sometimes, Exactly. Yes, I am nothing, but at the same time I'm everything. But it's like having that consciousness and saying, okay, so what kind of a part I want to take in this.

Raivon LeToiya:

Yes exactly.

Raivon LeToiya:

Exactly Because you are a part of it. Like you say, it's a co-creation, and if all of that stuff is in place and the whole world, if everything else is functioning, I'm okay, like I'm taken care of as well, I'm a part of it. So, yeah, there's a great piece in that mindset around like money or things like that, because, um, like, my mom like always like took care of us, like financially and things like that, and then my husband was the, the breadwinner when I was a stay-at-home mom. But I think my lack mindset came around just being myself and having a fear of being being able to be accepted for myself or seeing myself, and so to switch to an abundance mindset around, that was just, I think, for me.

Raivon LeToiya:

I had to begin to live as myself, if that makes sense, to back to the healing, to show up as myself, to do the things that I ended up being judged for and just really loving myself like inner child. That's how I got to abundance mindset was to look at the little me and give her the gratitude and the love, because then it was just okay to be me, which seems. Then it was just okay to be me, which seems small, but it was like a radical rebellion against the person I used to be and I did lose, like some friends and stuff because they fell in love with me. I was unhealed and I don't think it was possible for them to make that shift with me. But yeah, yeah, just loving little rayvon was my switch to abundance you're making me cry.

Kena Siu:

You just spoke directly to my soul. No, I totally understand what you say. Yeah, and it's so beautiful just to to listening from someone else, because then it's like it means that, yeah, it's that abundance that come from from within and right, yeah, and it's because of, again, the healing process that I've been through. Uh, yeah, the parent, the parenting that I've done to my inner child, all the healing from my feminine energies, all those things together, yes, ah, that have broke us here now.

Raivon LeToiya:

Yes, I know, it's a return to Eden is what I call it. It's that return to that original blueprint for us to just live as us. It seems so simple to say it, but it's so like revolutionary, it's, it's oh, I can't, I don't have words yeah, I call it.

Kena Siu:

I call it connecting back to our souls. Yes, that's for sure. Yeah, right, yeah, as you said, it's freaking revolutionary because it takes us a lot of courage and resilience, so much and time and relationships and pain and whatever. Yes, but at the same time, when we realize it's worth it.

Raivon LeToiya:

It's so worth it. And people told me, like, are you sure you want to leave? Like you have a good life, are you sure you don't want to be there? But I would never go back. I would never go back. This, never go back. This is my first time living alone with my kids, like in my adult life, and, yeah, I love it, like I just love it's. I could have never predicted this. I actually was terrified when I thought I might end up divorced, like it was not something I wanted to, but like the universe and the signs and the people. And it was a midlife calling, an awakening, and I answered the call and I'm so glad.

Kena Siu:

I'm so glad we did. Yes, yes, thank you Beautiful.

Raivon LeToiya:

And now we're living in our purpose. I feel like this is my purpose to speak to other women, and I've met other women also who have had the same experience within the last several years of like waking up and saying yes and um, now wanting to go out and wake up, help other women like, wake up and, uh, get to the top of that mountain.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, ah, that's beautiful. So that's the invitation to our listeners today to answer your call. Whoever you are, meet like butterfly and answer the call it is worth it.

Raivon LeToiya:

It is so worth it. You have to know it so worth it.

Kena Siu:

Yes, raven, do you want to share? What people can uh find you?

Raivon LeToiya:

um, yes, so on instagram and on youtube, I am the energetic glow up. Also on spotify and any podcasting um platform that you enjoy the energetic glow up.

Kena Siu:

Rayvon latoya, that's where you can find me okay, beautiful, I'm gonna be sharing the links and show notes. And, rayvon, it has been a pleasure and an honor to speak soul to soul today. What a beautiful conversation. I enjoyed so much me too so much for your presence, for your guidance, for your wisdom, for the work that you do and, yeah, I look forward to keeping contact with you for sure, for sure.

Raivon LeToiya:

Thank you so much. My pleasure have a great day.

Kena Siu:

Thank you for tuning into midlife butterfly. If this episode lead a spark in you, hit that subscribe or follow button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you love to listen, so you'll never miss the magic. If you're feeling generous, drop a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps this empowering content reach more souls ready to transform their lives. And don't forget to take a photo of you while listening and share it on your socials. You can tag me at Ken as you, so I can celebrate you and your expansion. Until next time, keep spreading those wings and living in joy, growth and pleasure.

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