#21 - You’ve Always Belonged: A Midlife Woman’s Journey Back to Herself

In this soul-opening episode, I share a tender memory from my teenage years that planted the seed of a deep belief: I don’t belong. This story, small on the surface, but huge in impact, shaped how I showed up in life, relationships, and even my business. I unpack how that moment led me to become a lone wolf, to hide, to shrink… and how I’ve been gently unraveling that old truth to reclaim my worth, voice, and belonging. This one’s for the woman who’s ready to remember that she always belonged, and to finally belong to herself first.

I shared a powerful guided practice to connect with your inner child and whisper the words she always needed to hear.

Reflection Questions:

1. When was the first time you felt like you didn’t belong?
2. What story did you start telling yourself after that experience—and is it still running your life?
3. What would shift if you chose to belong to yourself first?

Join the Midlife Butterfly Facebook group [http://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifebutterfly] and check out my one-on-one six-week journey called the Butterfly Path [https://midlifebutterfly.ca/butterfly-path]. If this episode resonated with you and you're ready to reclaim your power, I'm here to support you!

- - - - -

You can find all the podcast details right here: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/podcast

Download the Midlife Butterfly Guide with 5 Radical Practices to Heal, Take Your Power Back & Rise

Follow Kena on Instagram: @midlifebutterfly

Join the Midlife Butterfly Community: http://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifebutterfly

For Coaching, Courses & More Visit Kena's Website: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/workwithme

Request a Free Empowered Call with Kena if you're interested in working with her: https://midlifebutterfly.ca/empoweredsession

Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction: Feeling Like an Outsider
• 1:01 The Story of Rejection at 13
• 3:10 Becoming the Lone Wolf
• 7:14 Creating Your Own Trail
• 9:41 Guided Meditation for Belonging
• 16:09 Reclaim Your Power and Keep Flying

Transcript

Kena Siu: 0:00

Hey, beautiful, welcome back to Midlife Butterfly. Today's episode is tender. It's powerful. It's for the woman who's ever felt like she didn't belong. Maybe you felt like an outsider. Maybe you had a moment in your life where you stopped trusting that you were meant to be part of something. If that's you, I see you, I feel you and I have a story to share. Midlife Butterfly, a woman in the sacred in between. She's not who she once was and not quite who she's becoming. Yet. She's unraveling, awakening, remembering. She's navigating life transitions divorce, loss, reinvasion moves with a burning desire for freedom, joy and solid living. She feels the pull to rise, to fly. She's no longer afraid of her own wings.

Kena Siu: 1:01

I noticed that something in my business has been holding me back. There was something in my subconscious that I felt I needed to explore because it has been blocking me for decades. Yeah, that's the truth. So I took the time to pause, to listen and reflect, and it brought me back to when I was 13 years old. So I'll tell you this story. I went to look for a friend and when I knock on the door, his little brother open and then a voice screamed who is it? And he responded a skinny girl with glasses and brackets, and well, it ended up that my friend was not there. So I came back to the car where my parents were waiting for me. I was fucking furious, I was totally pissed off and of course my parents noticed it and they asked me what happened. So I told them, but they just laughed about it. I mean, it was not a big deal, right? At least that's what we thought. The little boy was just describing what he saw, because he was asked what was going on and my parents didn't know better. So they just laughed. But I didn't realize at that moment. It marked me because my little girl interpreted as being rejected, as that you don't belong here, and I believe it. But I forgot about it.

Kena Siu: 2:58

And then I became a lone wolf and for years I actually operated from here, you know, like in friendships, with acquaintances, like even in my business now, and I actually used to think that I was a chai person. I now know that I am an ambivert and like I used to go, you know, if I would be in gatherings with a lot of unknown people, I would just most likely stay with the people that I know, or I would just kind of hide in the corner. So then, of course, people would not notice me, so I would be unseen, I would hide, basically, and I would rarely, rarely, dare to actually make the first move to approach people. That has been shifting little by little. It actually took me two years to video for my business and that's what is that? Deep down, the younger version of me was still scared. It was very scared to be rejected again. Now I interpret it differently, of course, and this time when I decided to explore deeper because I know there was this thing holding me back when I was journaling and taking the time to cry because I did cry then is when I started shifting. Cry because I did cry Then is when I started shifting.

Kena Siu: 5:03

It's when I noticed why I'm doing this work for myself and, of course, for Midlife Butterfly. I was finally able to hear that voice saying I don't feel like I belong in this space, and the voice was so clear. And then I noticed that I have reflecting this in my coaching, as a leader, as a business owner. Deep down, I didn't feel like I belong in here, and when I started reflecting it, I realized that that was a lie. I have always belonged, you have always belonged. It's just our limiting minds that tell us that to protect us, that's all they are trying to protect us, to keep us safe, and at the same time, I realized that really I'm not meant to fit in. I'm actually meant to create a new space, and that's why I created the Midlife Firefly to honor women like me. I even have in my wall this quote that says Do not go where the pathway leads. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. This quote is from Ralph Waldo Emerson and I felt like this all the time, like I don't have to follow the crowds, I don't have to follow everybody or anyone else's path. I am here to create my own trail, and this is what I'm doing in a different way, in my unique way, and it might resonate to people and they might feel my might, follow my path for a bit, but my aim is to really guide others to start their own trail, live their own trail.

Kena Siu: 8:06

So I want to ask you when did you first feel like you didn't belong? What decision did you make about yourself in that moment? And what if that was never your truth, just your trauma, like in my case? You don't have to keep being that lone wolf. You don't have to shrink to be safe. What if you and me started belonging to ourselves first? Because once we embody that, once we understand that first we gotta belong to ourselves. Then that truth that we have always belonged is going to be our truth as well.

Kena Siu: 9:22

I want to invite you to to listen to this practice. If you're in a safe place, I invite you to close your eyes. If you're not, just listen to myself, and then you can come back afterwards. So please close your eyes. Just let my voice guide you to be this gentle reminder that you belong. Let's take a few breaths together, breathing in through the nose, out through the mouth, and try to relax your body as much as you can. Let's do it again, breathing through the nose, out through the mouth, relaxing the body a bit more. Let your body soften, let your jaw relax, let your shoulders drop. You are safe, you are held and you are not alone. I will ask you to bring your attention to your heart. If you feel comfortable, place a hand over there and feel the warmth of your own touch, and imagine that you're breathing into your heart and exhaling from it too. Can you feel that expansion and that contraction with each breath that you're and allow that softness to come to your heart, allow that softness to grow.

Kena Siu: 11:50

And now, in your mind's eye, picture that little girl of you, that version of you. What is she wearing? What is her expression on her face? Where is she now? Just observe her, not judgment. Just observe her, not judgment, only love towards her. And I invite you to walk up to her gently, look into her eyes and say to her I see you, I love you, you belong. I see you, I love you, you belong. Notice her eyes and tell her again I see you, I love you, you belong. And give her a big hug, if that feels right for you. Let her feel safe again, let her feel that safety that she didn't feel at that moment of rejection.

Kena Siu: 13:28

Now repeat softly to yourself I belong to myself, I belong to love, I belong to this life, exactly as I am no-transcript. But I am sure that my little girl, she will show me what I'm doing now. Little woman owning my voice even when it breaks, seeing me creating this community this moment. She'll be so fucking proud of me. And I want you to feel that pride too, because you deserve to belong, to lead, to rise. You do, and that's why I invite you to be part of my community of midlife butterfly.

Kena Siu: 15:45

I am sharing the link below to my facebook group and, if this resonated with you and you're ready to reclaim your power, where I have a one-on-one six-week journey called the Butterfly Path, I'm going to be sharing the links in the show notes and I hope this episode has served you. This is the inner work that I do on my own and I wanted to share with you, because you can also do it on yours and I can also support you if you need to. I'll leave you with this with a lot of love and certainty that you are love, that you belong, and it's time to keep flying. It's time to be seen. It's time to share your voice. It's time to speak your truth, be your truth and live your truth. I love you. Take care.

Kena Siu: 17:09

Thank you for tuning into Midlife Butterfly. If this episode lead a spark in you, hit that subscribe or follow button on Apple Podcasts, spotify or wherever you love to listen, so you'll never miss the magic. If you're feeling generous, drop a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps this empowering content reach more souls ready to transform their lives. And don't forget to take a photo of you while listening and share it on your socials. You can tag me at Kena Siu so I can celebrate you and your expansion. Until next time, keep spreading those wings and living in joy, growth and pleasure.