#34 - Breaking the Armours: How Midlife Women Can Receive Love, Support & Abundance

Let’s get real. Midlife isn’t just about wrinkles or hot flashes. It’s about the armours we’ve built over decades of survival. The walls we wear to protect ourselves from hurt also keep out love, support, abundance, and joy. In this episode, I open up about the armors I discovered in myself—emotional, energetic, and even spiritual—and how they’ve shaped my relationships, my ability to receive, and my freedom.

If you’ve ever caught yourself over-giving, hiding your true desires, or priding yourself on being “strong and independent” while secretly craving to be held and supported, this one’s for you. It’s time to loosen the straps, my love, and let yourself feel safe, soft, and powerful at the same time.

✨ In This Episode, You’ll Hear:

• The hidden ways your armour blocks love, opportunities, and abundance.
• How journaling cracked open a deep wound I didn’t know was still alive.
• The armours women wear most often.
• Why true safety comes from within, not from walls.
• A gentle invitation to replace protection with presence, and discover your worthiness to receive.

🦋 Soulful Reflection Questions

1. What kind of armour am I currently wearing, and what am I trying to protect myself from?
2. Where in my life do I say I’m open, but my heart is still guarded?
3. If I loosened just one strap of my armor today, what might shift in how I receive love, joy, or abundance?

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might benefit. Check the show notes for links to coaching services, mini coaching sessions, and self-paced online programs to support your journey.

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You can find all the podcast details right here: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/podcast

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Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

Chapters

• 0:00 The Armor That Blocks Love
• 8:29 Recognizing Behavioral Patterns
• 13:43 The Wound Behind The Armor
• 17:22 Types of Armor We Wear
• 22:13 Journaling To Release The Armor
• 26:41 Safety, Softness and Personal Power
• 31:00 Closing Invitation and Resources

Transcript

Kena Siu: 0:00

Do you wear an armor and did you know that by wearing one, you actually might be blocking love, people and even yourself? Midlife Butterfly a woman in the sacred in between. She's not who she once was and not quite who she's becoming. Yet she's unraveling, awakening, remembering. She's navigating life transitions, divorce, loss, reinvasion moves, with a burning desire for freedom, joy and solid living. She feels the pull to rise, to fly. She's no longer afraid of her own wings. Welcome back to the Midlife Butterfly Podcast.

Kena Siu: 0:52

My name is Kena Siu, your host, and this is going to be a powerful message for you. I just realized yesterday how a version of me was still believing and needed to protect me from being used, and by doing that, I also block my capacity to receive, and even when I'm still feeling the vulnerability of my heart, by realizing this hidden pain because that's really what it was in there I cried over it, cracked open and then a lot of anger came through, and you know I mean that's part of the healing process. So that's what I want to share with you, because you might have an armor, or several of them, either if you're creating them consciously or unconsciously, and it's to protect yourself from being hurt, and that's normal, we don't want to feel hurt. And then the armor, or armors that we create, they are, of course, they are emotional, they are energetic, but they are still there. And because we are energy, everything is energy, of course we get to block that flow of energy to come through us. And the breakthrough that I went through it was by noticing my behavior.

Kena Siu: 2:53

And then, when I started journaling, is when I was like what the fuck? I was like this is what's happening is when I realized that it was me feeling used and in this case was by men, and it was eye-opening for me and at the same time, it's so healing and so liberating. So I noticed my behavior by um. So I met the person a couple of months ago and I finally felt inspired to, you know, send him a text. I said, okay, let's go for a coffee, for tea, and so we did. And, uh, I made it clear since the beginning that I just, you know, I just wanted to have, you know, friendship. He is much older than me and but you know the short conversation that we have at that very moment it felt good and the energy felt good noticing my behavior with him when he was texting me or when I was in his presence.

Kena Siu: 4:10

It's when I noticed how my behavior was being there and then I was like, oh yeah, I'm really like putting a wall in here. It was not even a boundary, it really felt more than that. I really didn't realize that I was carrying a shield with me. You know, when it comes to men not with all of them, because I have great female friends, sorry male friends, but it seems like it showed up with some people, and more when they are still kind of unknown to me, that I, you know just the beginning of a relationship and even though, when you know, when they show up with clear intentions, you know, and they are respectful and everything, I'm still putting this armor in between to protect myself. And so last night, when I was reflecting about it, then that's what I love about journaling, because once I start journaling, I just have this what the fuck moment really, then, noticing why this armor was built.

Kena Siu: 5:39

So I started writing down, you know, the name of a person and then the situation that happened, and then how I felt at that moment. And then another person you know and another person, and that's how I realized that, by writing down all these relevant memories that it came to mind. It's when I really noticed and then when I kind of felt that crack in my heart and saying, yeah, I felt used by them, even though in some cases probably was not the case, but it was how we interpret things at a certain moment, right. So then I started realizing, okay, which were my patterns at the time, how was my behavior? And there was so much sorrow and at the same time there was so much anger when I felt that cracking the armor, like saying you don't need me anymore Because you are safe, because the truth is it's not in only showed up, you know, with certain men again, kind of like a new relationships, what they would happen is also it's me when I want to open up to my friendships or, you know, getting new clients or new opportunities, and because I remember like I used to struggle to receive compliments, I used to struggle and still kind of like you know the aging there of asking for help.

Kena Siu: 7:45

So what are you trying to protect yourself from that? You are blocking yourself from that flow of energy of being open, of receiving others, and not only others but yourself. And the thing is, if we are not open to receive ourselves, nobody else is going to do it. I know it's a hard pill to swallow, but that's the truth. How can we expect others to do something for us if we don't do it for ourselves? That's the way the laws are made and this is not about, you know, blaming men or blaming the other person or whatever it is that might have happened to you. It's about really witnessing the version of you that believed that you had to protect yourself from that danger and then realizing also how that belief still shaped your actions and reactions with others.

Kena Siu: 9:33

Because the armor sometimes it can look like strength and the reality is that it's it's a fear in disguise. Have you experienced someone? When they are very loud, it's usually because they are freaking, afraid or something, and by raising their voice, they are creating authority and they are protecting well, authority, between quotes, they are actually protecting themselves from whatever other people can tell them and that can break them, put them on the floor, right? So how, or better to say like, what kind of armors have you created? One of them is the over-giver armor, and I know a lot of women and men as well. We can relate to this one because the over-giver I see it as the people pleaser to this one, because the over giver I see it as the people pleaser.

Kena Siu: 10:45

You know you do everything from everyone so they don't leave you, so they love you, so that you get rejected, so you don't feel abandonment. You know you are always on something and managing and fixing and caretaking and doing everything for everyone and at the same time, unfortunately, you might feel some resentment or you might feel drained because you can't stop giving. But it's really that wound that you have that has to be healed. Is it the wound of rejection, of abandonment, of not being enough, of not feeling loved? What is the wound under it? That it created this armor of overgiving? And the thing is, when you are doing that, at the same time you are blocking yourself from receiving, and the law says that giving and receiving has to be in flow. Other way it doesn't work properly. You need to fill up your cup first to be able to give from a place of love and abundance, instead of having a freaking empty cup and giving from resentment and scarcity.

Kena Siu: 12:38

Have you probably built the armor of being strong and independent? And saying the armor of being strong and independent and saying I don't need anyone? That's a freaking lie. We always need from people around us. You know, I mean, we can be hyper-independent and you can pride that you are super cool with only on your own, but we really need help from others. We do, we do. And let me tell you, after I separated during COVID and then I changed to a new place, that I was receiving the last amount of money, say I am receiving, even when it felt so freaking uncomfortable and when it felt that I didn't deserve it, I needed to bend myself and say, yes, I do need help from other people. So then don't complain. If you don't feel seen and supported.

Kena Siu: 14:02

If you have created that armor of strength and independence, then you are blocking people and you are causing that effect of feeling unseen and unsupported. I've been there and I'm still sometimes do that. So then don't dare to say, oh no, they don't see me, they don't support me. Well, what are you doing that you are blocking that flow. What are you doing that you are blocking that flow? And I think in here also it comes a freaking control. Freak, isn't it? We don't want help because we want to create things in our own way and it has to be so perfect and beautiful and whatever other idea you have in your head and, of course, no one else is able to do it that way. So it has to be your way, and I'm not only talking to you, i'm'm talking to myself. If I'm putting it out there, it's because these words I need to listen to these words too.

Kena Siu: 15:22

Have you ever worn the spiritual armor? I remember I did when I started my spiritual journey. You know, sometimes we believe like, oh no, I already healed this and I only going to focus on the light and the positive. Yeah, that's true, I mean, it's good to just focus on that. Why I want to, you know, focus on the darkness. But the thing is we are humans, we have a light side, we have a dark side and we all have these emotions that are always flowing through us, and the only way to heal is by processing those emotions. So if some people, or if you are in this case, you know, wearing this spiritual armor and don't want to process your emotions, most likely you are just kind of like bypassing your trauma, and that's not the way to do the inner work. Because if you are in this podcast, listening to it, I want to think that you, besides listening to content and consuming and integrate the teachings that you receive, because if you don't, you're never going to move forward, you are never going to heal, you're never going to grow and evolve as a human being.

Kena Siu: 17:19

What about the invisible armor? Oh, my God, I wear this one so often Well, now, not that often, but you know it's the one that says oh, if they don't notice me, they can't hurt me. They don't notice me, they can't hurt me. And then what happens? You hide your guests, you avoid to be invisible because you don't want to be misunderstood or judged or rejected, like in my case. We rather stay on the shadow. You know, being invisible, nobody sees me, so nobody can hurt me.

Kena Siu: 18:04

But that's not the way we are built. We are here to be loved, to be loved. We are here for community, for expression, for creativity and even when we get to, you know, create and everything for our own sake, on well-being and satisfaction, when we get to share it, on well-being and satisfaction, when we get to share it, it feels good. What do you think? I'm here? This is one of the reasons I am here and it's so satisfying. And it doesn't matter really, really, what you may think. This is just my message, this is just my words putting out there and hopefully it will inspire you. So crack that invisible armor, start owning your voice, start owning your desires, start owning and building the dreams. You are more than worthy to do that Just by being. You are worthy to do, to be and have whatever you want.

Kena Siu: 19:47

I invite you to pause and ask yourself, really ask yourself am I wearing an armor? What kind of armor is it? How am I trying to protect myself that I'm wearing this armor? Again, the armor is there to protect you from pain, but it also protects you from love, from clients, from family, from friends, from creating new relationships, from money, from abundance, from magic, from everything. Because when we wear an armor, we're in protection, not on reception, not on reception. So is there a place in your life where you said I'm open, but your heart still guarded? Pause this, if you want. I invite you to reflect.

Kena Siu: 21:11

I invite you to go within, because all the answers are there, all of them. And it's not that you need to drop the armor all at once. No, healing has different, a lot of layers. It's not that you need to drop the armor all at once. No, healing has different, a lot of layers. It's like an onion, but probably at least you can loosen one trap today, you know, one at a time.

Kena Siu: 21:49

I don't know what you've been through. You are the only one who knows what you've been through. You are the only one who knows what you've been through, so you can check with your body how to proceed. What has your body opened at this very moment to heal? What has your body opened at this very moment to heal? Your armor may have many straps, I don't know.

Kena Siu: 22:27

My invitation for you is to take the time to feel it, to wonder, to ask it what are you trying to protect me from? And journal about it. The answers are within and when we put them into paper, unconscious answers are written in there and, oh woman, many of those are gold. So let your pen fly. That's what I can say, and I think one of the things that we gotta differentiate that one thing is to create, you know, the armor that you might be wearing now and then, by then, just creating a wall instead of just setting boundaries, and using our discernment, because safety itself is created inside your body. So it's about self-regulating your nervous system and it's about practicing emotional intelligence and having mindset practices that it can help you heal your wounds, your trauma that is not allowing you to feel safe within, and I want you also to remind you that we can be soft and powerful at the same time. You know you can allow yourself to receive and you can protect yourself by speaking your truth, by being your truth. Yeah, I'm creating this space for you of stillness.

Kena Siu: 25:19

Just pausing here, feel your body, feel your breath. Can you feel the armor, or armors, that you are wearing? Can you ask it, what are you protecting me from? And I welcome your protection and I do peace with you. And, at the same time, I want you to know that I am safe. I am safe to receive, to receive love, compliments, help, nourishment, support, abundance. So journal about it, please do so.

Kena Siu: 26:53

And even when I felt some anger after I realized the armor that I was wearing, I just took the time to process it. I cried about it. I felt the emotion in my body and that's the way how I released it, because remember that you are wearing that armor because you were hurt and now that you make it conscious, it's up to you to do the inner work and heal it. It is your choice. It's up to you Because remember that this is a journey and self-discovery Because remember that this is a journey and self-discovery and doing the inner work, it's a never-ending more aware.

Kena Siu: 28:15

And then, once you start in this process and noticing how, by working in your trauma and healing your wounds and shifting your mindset, and, yeah, like how you can feel the shifts in body, mind and soul, it's never-ending, because it's so freaking exciting. Yeah, it's challenging. It's freaking challenging. It is Because it's about taking responsibility for yourself and in that responsibility comes the processing of your emotions and unfortunately, we were not taught how to process our emotions and it's the only way you can start removing the straps of the armor or the armors that you are wearing. And this is the work that I get to do on myself and this is the work that I get to guide my clients with, to go deeper into that self-discovery, to feel better, to live better lives, to create better relationships, to improve your current relationships, starting with the self, and by doing so, your whole life shifts. It's so beautiful. That's why the butterflies are here.

Kena Siu: 30:09

Thank you so much for listening. I your time, I appreciate your presence and if this episode resonated with you, please share it. I'm sure that you have a sister, you have a brother who might be armored up and not even know it. I didn't know it. So let's rise into softness, into power and truth, together and as a collective right. Much love to you, as usual, and if you would like to work with me, in the show notes you have the links of the different coaching services that I offer, and I even have mini coaching sessions and online programs that you can take at your own pace, so feel free to check them out. I will be more than happy to be able to support you in this journey.

Kena Siu: 31:08

Have a wonderful day. Thank you for tuning into Midlife Butterfly. If this episode lit a spark in you, hit that subscribe or follow button on Apple Podcasts, spotify or wherever you love to listen, so you'll never miss the magic. If you're feeling generous, drop a review on Apple Podcasts. It helps this empowering content reach more souls ready to transform their lives. And don't forget to take a photo of you while listening and share it on your socials. You can tag me at Ken as you, so I can celebrate you and your expansion. Until next time, keep spreading those wings and living in joy, growth and pleasure.