Midlife Butterfly | Identity, Reinvention, Transformation, Grief, Self-Worth, Empowerment & Spiritual Awakening
Midlife isn’t a crisis, it’s the threshold to your transformation, to your remembrance.
I’m Kena Siu, Empowerment Guide and host of Midlife Butterfly. I help women in transition — through divorce, reinvention, grief, or spiritual awakening — heal, rediscover who they are, and create a life that feels aligned, joyful, and free.
After navigating my own metamorphosis (yes, four weddings, three countries, two divorces, and one funeral later 😅), I learned that midlife is the moment you finally come home to yourself.
If you’re craving deeper connection, clarity, and confidence to rise into your next chapter — this podcast is for you.
Here you’ll find:
💜 Soulful conversations about identity, healing, transformation, and purpose
🦋 Mindset shifts to break free from fear and self-doubt
🌙 Spiritual tools for peace, presence, and personal power
It’s time to put you first! because this chapter isn’t about who you’ve been… it’s about remembering who you truly are.
Hit play and let’s begin your transformation. One beautiful conversation at a time.
🔗 Connect with Kena:
🦋 Instagram: @midlifebutterfly
🤝 Join the Free Community: midlifebutterfly.ca/community
✨ Explore Her Offerings: midlifebutterfly.ca/workwithme
🌐 Website: midlifebutterfly.ca
💌 Email Us: hello@midlifebutterfly.ca
Much love 💜
Kena Siu
Midlife Butterfly | Identity, Reinvention, Transformation, Grief, Self-Worth, Empowerment & Spiritual Awakening
#36 - What My Father’s Death Taught Me: 9 Lessons to Carry Forward
Midlife has a way of cracking us open. Loss, endings, transitions—they all bring us back to what really matters. In this episode, I open my heart and share nine lessons I’ve learned since the passing of my father six years ago. These are not just about grief—they’re about love, self-worth, courage, and choosing to live fully alive.
For every midlife woman who is ready to rediscover herself, reclaim her joy, and step boldly into her next chapter, these lessons will speak straight to your soul.
🦋 In This Episode, You’ll Hear:
- The truth about unconditional love and how it lives beyond death
- Why grieving yourself is just as important as grieving your loved one
- How acceptance and gratitude can shift deep pain into growth
- The wake-up call that pushed me out of my comfort zone and into a magical life
- The radical decision that changed everything
Reflection Questions
- Where in your life are you still holding on instead of accepting and releasing?
- How can you honour the parts of yourself that have “died” with certain relationships or transitions?
- What would stepping out of your comfort zone look like in this season of your life?
If you'd like to work with me through one-on-one coaching programs, check out the details here. I'm also hosting a retreat in October 23-26, near Montreal, Quebec, Canada—stay tuned for more information!
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Learn more about RESET, the Intimate Women's Retreat to pause, play & connect. From October 23-26 in the Laurentians, close to Montreal, Qc, Canada. Check the details and reserve your spot: https://midlifebutterfly.ca/resetretreat - Over 30% discount. DM for details!
If this story touched your heart, share it with another woman who’s navigating her own transition.
And if you’re ready to reconnect with yourself and create your next chapter with more freedom, joy, and alignment, join me on Instagram @midlifebutterfly
or explore The Butterfly Path coaching journey.
Download the Midlife Butterfly Guide with 5 Radical Practices to Heal, Take Your Power Back & Rise
Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada
Nine lessons from my father's passing. Yes, I'm celebrating six years since the transition of my father, so join me in this journey, because it's deep.
Kena Siu:Midlife Butterfly, a woman in the sacred in between. She's not who she once was and not quite who she's becoming yet. She's unraveling, awakening, remembering. She's navigating life transitions, divorce, loss, reinvasion moves, with a burning desire for freedom, joy and solid living. She feels the pull to rise, to fly. She's no longer afraid of her own wings rise to fly.
Kena Siu:She's no longer afraid of her own wings. Welcome back to the Midlife Butterfly podcast. This is your host, Kena Siu, and yes, I am celebrating six years since my father transitioned to another realm, because the truth is, I know he's around. He's still around. I choose to see it that way. His presence might not be here physically, but I can feel him and I want to share with you from my bed and for something in the morning, because I was supposed to do this yesterday, but I mean, I just the day just flew and I took the time to go last night to see the moon. It was gorgeous, because the night before it was cloudy here in Montreal. So, yeah, I'm just taking my time and since I'm awake for an hour or so already, I was like, ok, let's take advantage of this beautiful time of awakeness. And here we go. This is being recorded from my bed. Be recorded from my bed.
Kena Siu:So these are the lessons I guess some of the most important lessons that I've learned since his departure, and I want to share with you, because that's what I'm saying, that I'm celebrating. I choose to see life as a learning lesson instead of a failure, you know, because as human beings, I believe, to see it as an opportunity of me for me to keep, you know, growing. And yeah, because I'm experiencing the shifts that I've been going through and growth that I've been going through since he is not here physically and it's just whoa. So let's get started. The first one will be unconditional love. I know we call it unconditional love, which it's actually basically simply love. When we put conditions, is it really love? Have you ever questioned that? Well, yeah, so through this point of time, you know, I noticed there's only love, and the fact that he's not here that doesn't mean that I cannot keep loving him fully and truly and also feel his presence and choosing to feel his love too.
Kena Siu:Lesson two self-grief. Yes, we are told to grief the other person and, of course, it's very important right to allow the time to feel all the emotions and honor the grieving process of the other person. You know, go to the different stages, I don't know anger, denial, etc. And I do believe that it's equally important to process self-grief, because a part of us also died together with that person. Have you ever stopped and reflected about it? Because each relationship is unique and special. We have a special bond with that person and therefore memories and circumstances and whatever it is that happened in that relationship that make it unique. So a part of us is also dying with that relationship. So take the time to process those emotions, to feel the grieving process itself, but towards the part of you that died, I do believe for me that made a lot of difference.
Kena Siu:After his departure, lesson three acceptance His passing was very sudden because he was not sick, he didn't take any medication. He was actually taking a shot of tequila some evenings, you know, during the week he had a stroke and after five days in the hospital then he was gone. And also thanks to my mother and her wisdom and the way she sees life, when we were at the hospital, I mean with my siblings and my mother, we chose to be grateful for everything he gave us, be grateful For everything he gave us. I mean he did everything for us, you know, and so by having that gratitude and that love for him, it was Something that he gave us. I don't know, can I say the decision, you know to say we are so grateful for all you have given us that we just allowed, between quotes, to let you go. You know it's. It's not allowing, of course that's not the word, but what I mean is it's not allowing. Of course that's not the word, but what I mean is, again, it was so sudden. That that's how we told him that if he wanted to leave, we were okay with it. We were okay with letting him go, even when the pain was still there. It was fucking painful, but the acceptance of what happened, that it was sudden, that anyway this was the way it was, it helped me personally to avoid suffering. Because I think if I would not accept what happened you know, as they say, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional if I wouldn't continue with that pain over and over for not accepting that it was his time to live this human experience, I probably wouldn't suffer. And acceptance it takes, to tell you the truth, a lot of courage and resilience because that pain is still there. It fucking hurts, but I think it's easier to go through that process and again to avoid suffering.
Kena Siu:Lesson four understanding my siblings better.
Kena Siu:You know, I got to to think about things, and and and one of the things that I realized, and and also to, you know, information and from, I remember from a specific person.
Kena Siu:It was a friend of a friend and then actually Dr Gabor Mate also mentions this that even when we were raised at the same household you know all of us, we are three siblings we were not raised exactly the same. Why? Because our parents were at different stages each time they have us and of course it was the difference with the first you know child in the family, which is my brother, so of course it was not the same. Then when the second came, when I was the sandwich, so, and then when my sister came, even like five years after me. So that also helped me understand my siblings, because it's been hard not being that as close to them as I would love to, as I would love to, and also the fact that we have different personalities, like you know, like I love talking and sharing and stuff while my brother is like a turtle, if I can put it that way, like he's in his shell.
Kena Siu:he's, you know, in his world.
Kena Siu:So it's still, I guess, in this part of acceptance, that our relationship is not as close as I would like love to. I mean, we are there for each other when we need to, but it has to be something quite challenging to really show up there. So, yeah, still going through that process, learning lesson number five Life is too precious to live it in a comfort zone, precious to leave it in a comfort zone. I mean, his sudden departure made me question my whole life, you know, my marriage, my job, my relationships, including the one with myself, of course. And I realized that during this questioning that I was at a plateau, like I was literally in a comfort zone, and the truth is, magic doesn't happen there. And I didn't realize that I was missing that magic that at one point was in my life, that magic that at one point was in my life, and I was like I want more magic. So I'm going for it. I choose to live a magical life because I am the one creating my reality. So, yeah, I got out of that comfort zone and I get to you know, to get into plateaus like this sometimes I noticed, because I got into one a long time ago, but I'm glad that I have more of that awareness of saying, ok, there's no magic happening, so let's move forward. You know Lesson number six we never know a person fully and let me tell you, my dear, that includes the self. You will never be able to know yourself fully by doing the work every day. It's what makes the difference, because the thing is, each relationship we have it's different, as I mentioned before, and at the same time we meet them at different stages in our lives and in their lives. Right At the funeral mass for my father, right on the left side of the church, they have the niche boxes.
Kena Siu:So when the mass finished, we were to leave his ashes there, right. So we finished the ceremony of putting the ashes inside the niche and you know, you are in this foggy state of the mind, uh, that when we turn around, I mean yeah, I mean this foggy mind that you don't know where you are exactly and you're in your own bubble and the whole thing. When I and my family turn around to leave that place, we couldn't. To leave that place, we couldn't. It was packed with people, it was completely packed. It was so overwhelming. But you know why? Because I couldn't believe the amount of people that was there to honor my father because they love him, and, of course, I couldn't know this. He was 74 years old. I remember it was even to these two ladies who said, oh yeah, he lived with us when he arrived to your hometown to live and I was like what the heck? That was in the 1970s.
Kena Siu:Yeah, it was just so beautiful and and so, yeah, understand that you will never understand, you will never know a person fully, and what I mean with this is think, in the relationships that you have at this moment, you know, if you have challenges, if you don't really understand them, like, accept them by misunderstanding them too, because we will never know what they have been through fully, and not even ourselves, because, if you think about it, we tend to forget consciously on our consciously when something happened to us that we don't want to remember, that it was very traumatic and stuff like that that we get to to know about it, if we we don't know that those stuff lives in there. So, be kind and compassionate to other people, because we really never get to know them deeply and fully, and this includes yourself. So, yeah, be kind and compassionate to yourself as well, and if you want to do the inner work. I'm here for you. Learn on lesson number seven. They are always around. If we choose to see it that way, and I choose to see it that way, and I choose to see it that way.
Kena Siu:I say hi to my father very often, at least when I'm here in Montreal. I have his photo here in my room, so I say good morning to him and he also gives me advice. Yeah, just this past Friday something happened. I can't remember, but it reminded me of him, like, very like. I felt that in my body. And then I went to the rock climbing gym and when I was unlocking my bicycle, I noticed that one of the bicycles in there said empire, and he built my father did build an empire of love that we didn't know it existed, just for what I mentioned just before, and I did write something about that, the empire of love that he left us. So I was like, okay, I think he wants to tell me something. And when I got home, yeah, he gave me the message. I was here in my bedroom and just in front of his picture. It was very, very clear what he said to me. So if you choose to be open to receive their you know their wisdom still and, of course, their love. You can still. And, of course, their love. You can believe me that you can. Even when they are not here physically, they are always around us.
Kena Siu:Lesson eight I took one of the toughest decisions in my life. My father was a catalyst to question my whole life and again I came to the conclusion that I was living in a comfort zone which I just talked about it. So I decided to leave my 10-year relationship and change my life completely and prioritize myself truly for the first time in my life. So living that relationship has been one of the toughest decisions and also it was a stretch for me to prioritize myself. Yeah, and the ninth lesson Self-worth.
Kena Siu:After his departure and leaving my marriage, I decided to take the time to grieve, heal and take care of myself deeply, and accepting my worth was one of them. It is a process that most of us just by not saying that everyone it's something that we deal with, that we gotta show our worth when we I mean, we've been taught that it's supposed to be out there and no, that one it's basically inside of us, because we are worthy simply by existing. Remember this you are worthy because you exist, period. But I understand that we got to clean up a lot of shit to get in there, in there, and so when I was going through this process, I realized, you know, by going deep into what happened, I realized that my sense of unworthiness came from him. You know the way he was raised and his very, very subtle behavior as a mushroom man in this patriarchal society. You know, and I understood the root of my unworthiness, belief, I heal it and I forgave him. Forgave him between quotes, because there's really nothing to to forgive. I mean, he did the best he he could according to the knowledge that that he had.
Kena Siu:So, yeah, these are the nine lessons that I wanted to share with you, are the nine lessons that I wanted to share with you, and I think my invitation for you is to find a way of seeing life like this as a lesson, even when pain is there, when we got to go through grief, and getting to know ourselves at a deeper level is worth the energy and time for that.
Kena Siu:The energy and time For that, because we can See life From a different perspective and when we do that, we can change our life Simply by seeing it from a different perspective. So this is it for today, september 9th, six years from the passing of my father, and honoring him with all my love, with all the pride of being his daughter, with all the beauty, all the effort that he put into raising me and knowing that, despite the fact that he's not here physically, I still can feel his love and his whistle. Listen to his whistle he had a very particular whistle and, yes, honoring death, because the truth is, death is part of life. Much love to you, have a beautiful day and check my show notes if you would like to work with me in my one-on-one coaching programs, and I have a retreat coming out in October close to Montreal, quebec, canada. So, yeah, stay tuned.
Kena Siu:Thank you for tuning into Midlife Butterfly. If this episode lead a spark in you, hit that subscribe or follow button on Apple Podcasts, spotify or wherever you love to listen so you'll never miss the magic If you're feeling generous drop a review on Apple Podcasts.
Kena Siu:It helps this empowering content reach more souls ready to transform their lives. And don't forget to take a photo of you while listening and share it on your socials. You can tag me at KenSU so I can celebrate you and your expansion. Your socials. You can tag me at Ken as you, so I can celebrate you and your expansion. Until next time, keep spreading those wings and living in joy, growth and pleasure.
