Midlife Butterfly | Identity, Reinvention, Transformation, Grief, Self-Worth, Empowerment & Spiritual Awakening

#40 - Courage, Resilience & Reinvention Built in Over 15 Years As An Immigrant

• Kena Siu • Episode 40

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What does it really take to start over — not once, but again and again — with your heart wide open?

In this soulful 40th episode, Kena celebrates her Canadian quinceañera — 15 years since she arrived in Canada with two suitcases and a luggage full of dreams. Through stories of courage, heartbreak, language barriers, love, loss, and rebirth, she reflects on what it means to live, love, and reinvent yourself — again and again — as a woman in midlife.

You’ll feel seen in the way she talks about courage, resilience, and the sacred in-between of who we were and who we’re becoming. By the end, you’ll remember that no matter how many times life asks you to begin again, your wings always know the way.


🦋 In This Episode You’ll Hear:

  • How courage shows up when you start a new chapter with nothing but dreams.
  • Why resilience isn’t built overnight — and how every challenge refines your strength.
  • The truth about belonging when you move, love, and lose in midlife.
  • What happens when you trust your path, even when it doesn’t make sense.
  • How embracing the unknown opens doors to freedom, purpose, and joy.


🦋 Reflection Questions

  1. What invisible dreams are you still carrying in your suitcase?
  2. How would your life feel if you trusted your resilience as much as your fear?
  3. Where is life inviting you to begin again, with more softness, courage, and trust?


If this episode touched your heart, share it with another woman who’s in her own becoming.
And if you’re ready to walk your next chapter with courage and guidance, book a 90-min free call with Kena.


Midlife reinvention, courage and resilience, healing after divorce, immigrant, woman empowerment, midlife awakening, find purpose in midlife, reinvent yourself after change, self-trust and transformation.

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Learn more about RESET, the Intimate Women's Retreat to pause, play & connect. From October 23-26 in the Laurentians, close to Montreal, Qc, Canada. Check the details and reserve your spot: https://midlifebutterfly.ca/resetretreat - Over 30% discount. DM for details!


If this story touched your heart, share it with another woman who’s navigating her own transition.

And if you’re ready to reconnect with yourself and create your next chapter with more freedom, joy, and alignment, join me on Instagram @midlifebutterfly
or explore The Butterfly Path coaching journey.

Download the Midlife Butterfly Guide with 5 Radical Practices to Heal, Take Your Power Back & Rise

Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

Kena Siu:

Hey beauty, welcome back to the Midlife Butterfly Podcast. This is your host, Ken Asiu, and I'm so happy you're here for the 40 episode. How cool is that? We keep rolling, we keep rolling. So keep sharing the wisdom from here, you know, the talks, the conversations, and everything that is happening. So we can grow this community and more people can get a sense of uh uh what is to be a midlife butterfly. Either if you're a woman or a man, it doesn't matter. You are here, and I am very, very grateful for it. Midlife butterfly, a woman in the sacred in-between. She's not who she once was, and not quite who she's becoming yet. She's unraveling, awakening, remembering. She's navigating life transitions, divorce, loss, reinvation moves, with a burning desire for freedom, joy, and souled living. She feels the pull to rise, to fly. She's no longer afraid of her own wings. So let's get started with today's conversation, actually. I'm celebrating, besides the 40th episode, my Canadian quinceañera. Well, I'm I'm Mexican, so I don't know if you have heard of what a quinceanera is. So it's when we celebrate the 15th uh birthday anniversary of women. I know in the States and I guess in Canada as well as the sweet 16th or something like that, but for us it's the 15th. That's the magical number. And yeah, so I want to share some of the experiences that I have built, that I have learned, you know, by yeah, being here for 15 years since I got here. It's it feels unreal now that I say it. It's like uh it feels like long time ago, but at the same time, it feels like wow, it went so fast. Uh it is amazing how well anyway, what's time is just we know it's not linear, so it's interesting. And so I want to share with you 15 learning lessons, I don't know, or 15 experiences that I have uh uh had since I got here. And so the first one of them would be courage. Oh hell yeah. It is require a lot of courage to arrive to a new country, and this is was not actually my first ride before before here I was living in Romania for three years, and over there, yeah, Romanian language didn't come to my you know knowledge at all. I just knew a few words, whatever. But here, even though I already knew you know English, it was still challenging in other places that I'm gonna speak about later on. And yeah, but that courage, you know, of just arriving here with two pieces of luggage and an invisible piece full of dreams, you know. I just knew two, three people when I got here, and that was about it, like kind of starting from scratch. It fucking took a lot of courage, a lot of it. And another thing was resilience. Holy shit, that keeps building over and over again, and even through these old lives and deaths that I have experienced in these 15 years living here in Canada. And one of the things that I faced at the very beginning here was the language, because again, even when I spoke English by then, I'm in Quebec, you know, so French is considered the main language in here. And it's crazy because even when Montreal is an international city, known that there's a lot of tourists coming in here, most of the things, you know, like even transportation, uh, public transportation, all that is in French. So instead of embracing having two languages, they got stuck in only like, no, let's save or guard, you know, or French main language, which I understand in a way, but at the same time, I think it's embracing both. It opens more opportunities to everyone. Yeah, so what it happens to me kind of like at the beginning when I got here, I went to the government office, they were offering a prime program. I don't know if that one exists still. So, what it was about is so I will apply for it and then I will get a job where I will get paid the minimum wage for six months, and the government will pay for it. So that will help me and the company that I was working with, of course, at the same time, to gain for me like then job experience and then for the companies to save quite some money there, right? The cool part was after getting the program, well, after getting very pissed at the government officer because what happened is I got there, I say hello and everything else, bonjour, blah blah blah, when I got there. And when we were about to start, so I handled the folder with my file to this person, and when we were about to start the conversation, I asked him, can we continue in English? Because my English is better than my French. All he did was closing the folder in front of my face, handed it back to me, and he said, Come back when you know French. Boom. I left. So pissed, you don't have a clue. I was furious at that time because again, here I mean the two languages supposed to be, you know, official, but then for some people, they are very very, very what's the word? I forgot about it. Anyway, you know what I mean. They just want to speak French. It ends up I had two great jobs with two different companies, and I was always speaking English. So just to let you know, but it's just that resilience that you know continue being there and at the very beginning, and then through, you know, it kept building by you know, building relationships and then losing relationships, and all those stories of the human experience that has helped me like strengthen that re resilience within me that it keep helped me keep going. Keep going. It's it's it's it's a really good muscle to develop. So just to let you know, keep it in mind, yeah. So, like I mentioned before, like learning French. Oh my goodness, that was something else because it really took me a lot of extra energy. I was working 9 to 5, and then I would go to French classes from 6 to 10. That would be at least from Monday to Thursday. So they were long, long days, and that yeah, it lasted for almost two years. Probably the last six months, I took more of like grammar and speech, something like that. That it was, I guess, two classes per week, but still, like, yeah, it took a lot of uh energy to have those long days to learn the the language, and then also too much of a mental tiredness. I mean, I don't know if if it has happened to you sometimes that at one point you are not like your mind is just not functioning anymore. Like, seriously, I would get home at the end of the day, and then I was like, like French will not go through anymore. I will be just so, so tired. And then one of the things that also happened to me that it was very frustrating, and if you know more than two or three languages, I'm sure you know about this. The fact that okay, you're finally getting into learning the language and trying to put things together in your, you know, in your head, so you want to be part of the conversation. So by the time you finally put the sentence together in your head, the conversation already changed, the conversation just moved on, and I was like, Oh my god, like all this, you know, effort. And but anyway, it's just it's part of the journey, I will say. And for me again, that talking about the French part, it took me just a decision. Like finally, I was over here, like here for over a year, and my friends, since my boyfriend at Thailand was French, and his friends also, so we will they will make the effort to speak English with me, which I'm really appreciated. But at one point, you know what? He came, which year was it? 2012, and I said, please speak to me in French. I freaking need to move with this thing because I was already studying French for what for one year, but I I didn't want to speak it for some, I don't know, like not for some reason. That reason was like, you know, you are afraid to make mistakes, and then of course, the sounds of French are very different, and a lot of them, a lot of sounds I cannot make still because it they're not familiar either with Spanish or with French. So until one point, it's just like you know, get to just surrender and said, Okay, this is my accent, this is how it's gonna sound, and it's okay, I have studied it enough, so just like give it a go. And yeah, so to what day again I did that make the decision. I said, just speak to me in French, and yeah, I think within three months or something, I was just getting fluent and fluent. It was just about taking that decision of saying, okay, let's go, let's go. Another thing, the stretch. I had, I can say, yeah, my worst job ever. I was working for this marketing company, and then we had to call how did they call it like those calls that you call to ask questions and figure out what kind of products they sell and blah blah blah. So at least this was a project that we were in, and it was just oh, it was so draining. And then you I was in this freaking cubicle of not even one meter long. You have this, you know, this computer where you can see every minute passing by with the telephone just next to it. And what it frustrated me the most was the fact that to be able to get the information to the person with the person that I was talking to, I needed to lie. You know, and that really that was the stretch. Like it did, it was a job that it really didn't sync with my values. Because I'm not gonna say, Oh, I have never lied. No, but I mean, there's no need sometimes to lie, you know. So, and for those things, yeah, no, no, no, no, no. So that was a huge stretch to actually, okay, let's hold on and you know, for a while. I I guess I was in that project for a couple of months or something, and then it was just like, okay, let's focus, like, because you might know that searching for a job is a job itself. So that's what I did. I took a couple of months to really go and search for a job, and and it paid off at the end. And one of the things I also learned that is that the personal touch is very important, you know, because talking about those two jobs that I that I had, two main jobs, that personal touch of printing my CV, putting it on the on a folder, having, you know, putting a business card on it. That was what actually got me those two jobs. But not only that, of course, my presence and my energy by going over there personally and handling those papers to someone in the in those companies, right? I know those made the difference. And yeah, so just consider that. Sometimes, yeah, personal touch, and I think we have kind of like lost it a lot now that we spend a lot of time online, but having that presence, it's it's necessary, and more now than ever, I I think. So don't miss that, don't miss it. Another thing is oh, the mix of emotions, yeah, because building a new life, it's in a different country, or even it could be in a different city if you have experience, you know. It's it's about missing birthdays, missing holidays, and so many uh special occasions with the family and also with some friends, and and just because we continue to hold that dream, you know, to to live better lives or or just to by knowing that even when being abroad, like I'm living the life that I want, and some of the between quotes cost to pay is to miss a lot of things, and that creates a lot of mixed emotions, so it's just about letting them flow, you know. The culture here, I love it. I mean, and the thing is Montreal is the the biggest city here in Quebec, and so there's people from all over the world, and and also it depends like where you go. There are different neighborhoods where it's gonna be more people from I don't know, like the Latinos, and on other places are gonna be more French people, in other places are gonna be more people from India and Pakistan, and and then the north side of the city is more like uh francophone, the the west part is more anglophone, you know, all those things. But uh just in general, I mean I just love it here. It's it's more peaceful and respectful compared to Mexico and to Romania as well, even though, of course, there were some shocking experiences sometimes that's everywhere, but yeah, I I do I do really enjoy it. And the other thing is about you know the new friendships that you get to build when you go to a to a new place. Here people are welcoming in general. I mean, I mean, most of my friends are immigrants, to tell you the truth. Even though when Quebecers they do welcome people, I what I've seen, I mean, I have only a few friends, like I can count them with my hand, the friends that I have that actually are from Quebec. So it's it's very rare to make friends from here. At the same time, I'm very grateful that they they welcome us, but I think it's just a different mentality when you are an immigrant and you are kind of like more open to make friendships. And yeah, and then more when I arrived, I mean 15 years ago, I was I was very young, and also my group of friends, they were young, you know, then they started getting married and then having children, and I started, of course, the dynamics have changed since then, you know, but it's just how it's you know, it has shifted. Um, but then getting friendships from different places, and of course, you make new friends and then you lose them, and then you make other ones, and then now you know, in and at being in midlife, it's and not only here, I know like in general, it's a bit challenging to have new new friendships or to make new friendships, even though I don't know, it might kind of like turnaround. I don't know. Like that's why I started making you know creating these women's circles past in um this August, and just I mean, we're having one tomorrow, and there's already 12 women sign up, and I only know two of them, like the other ones I don't know, so it it is that people really are eager to have more friendships. I think just being in a phone, of course, is not fucking enough, and having deep conversations and having the presence of our of others and feeling seen and heard is something that is needed from everyone, and not from a place of ego, but from a place of that connection as human beings, and then another thing I think that's my belief, but that's how I perceive it that there is a bit less of judgment by being an immigrant because you know, I mean, it means that you leave your roots, your family, your culture, you know, to build something new. So it's less common that someone is gonna come to judge you. Like, are you having kids or you're not gonna be having kids? Are you married or you're not married, or what kind of status you have? Like if I compare it back like to Mexico, like how the society is there, generalizing, of course. Here is very different, and I and I think it's that because again, we get here with two pieces of luggage starting from scratch. So don't even dare to come and question my life because yeah, no, you can you can you might get a nice response, but you might get also a harsh response based on that. Oh, another thing, it's about being open to opportunities. You know, I got a job at an international association, and I remember when I got this job opportunity, and it was actually in one of the places that I went to leave my CV on paper. But then when I have this interview, that was after I don't know, six months, eight months or something. I was not even looking for a job at this at that moment, but that person reached out, and yeah, and he was just like, Well, you're gonna do this, this, and that, blah, blah, blah. I was like, Okay, and then he said, Are you gonna be traveling? And I was like, sold. I don't have a clue what I'm gonna do, but if I'm gonna travel, I'm in. So I just took it, and it was fantastic because I had the opportunity to travel all around the world to every continent except for Africa. That one, it was my birthday present for my 40th birthday. But I mean, traveling around it was just fantastic, and you know, again, like new cultures, trying new new foods, and then sometimes I will you will stay a bit longer in several places just to visit around, it was just such a great opportunity for me. And and that's the thing, like after kind of like getting at the end of the you know, of that of working for that company, another opportunity came. Again, I was not searching for it, then COVID came, so I was just working in that office for uh like six weeks or something, and then at the end end up working for for a year because I mean most of the conference got canceled or got moved afterwards. But then, you know, it's about seeing the things with an open eyes, with an opportunity instead of uh a limitation of fear, even though fear is gonna be there, but it's about going through that fear, and that's when you know the opportunity to become a freelancer and an entrepreneur came in. And I was like, Yeah, I'm ready for this. Uh I'm just taking it, you know. And now I actually make more money as a freelancer that I used to do before working at an company itself, with uh, you know. So yeah, that had shifted, and my my business is going better, it's growing little by little, but I'm just so happy with it. I mean, the transformation that I get to see in people that work with me are just phenomenal, and and it's just so satisfactory for me just to be a witness of how they can improve their lives. It's just it's just so beautiful because we don't realize we are so stuck in our bubbles that we don't realize that we can live much better. So, yeah, I'm just gonna leave the seed in there for you. And um another thing that happened here in this actually, this was more like in the past five years. Well, no, it started before because when I moved here, well, I'm talking about my spiritual path. When I moved here, I was like, okay, I want to finally start exercising because I was very lazy before to tell you the truth, and I was like, Well, I'm starting in a new country, new routine, so let's put exercise into the you know, into the equation. So it's when I found yoga, and after practicing for a few years, it's when uh my body and mind finally connected, and then from there I started changing my eating habits, started meditating more, and then I took a certification as a coaching habits, then I took professional training in yoga, and then in meditation, so all that combined elements really took me deeper into my spiritual path, which I'm super grateful. And yeah, that was that was something. And what it took me actually deeper, it was the last six years after the transition of my father. And that's the next thing that I want to share is the fact that the fear of losing someone when living abroad is going to happen. Because the truth is that is something that we can't control, and it's something that is gonna happen no matter, no matter what. And we will never be prepared for that. We can't. We can't. So yeah, but that's one of the things that we gotta, you know, that we gotta experience where we are away. And that's that's what is. And now that I that I have become a digital nomad, you know, which is other things that I have achieved in the past years, and becoming a snowbird, it has been so great for me because then I have that flexibility of spending more time with my family and more time with my friends in Mexico. And it's just, you know, such a great gift and something that I want to keep cultivating, you know, and keep going forward with it. And what else? Well, my civil status has changed a few times. I'm happily single at this moment, but I mean, when I got here, I was married, then I got divorced, and then I got married again, and then divorced again. So life happens in the meantime, you know. And it's just yeah, that's that's life, and understanding that being present and being, I mean, uh as fully as possible with what we are experiencing at the moment, that's what count counts. You know, yeah, I mean that's the flow of life, and and I think it's okay to follow what your soul is telling you to do because I know there are a lot of women staying in their marriages, even though if they are unhappy, and I understand that sometimes it's because of financial you know support and and things like that, but what I can say is try to find a way to get out of there and go after your happiness. It might take you a bit, a few steps, turns and rounds, and you know, and sometimes going in loops. But it's possible. It it is possible. Just don't let your civil status define you or make you feel unhappy and miserable. Life is too short to do that. It's too short. We never know. We don't know if we're gonna be here tomorrow, so just a kind reminder, right? And last but not least, well, I continue to build my dream life. You know, it keeps shifting, like I'd say at the very beginning, I also arrive here with that invisible luggage full of dreams, and the more I can get to into that little piece of luggage, you know, there's more dreams unfolding in there that I they didn't know they existed. Like seriously, I never thought about being an entrepreneur, I never thought about becoming a digital nomad. And and many other things that I have become in these 15 years that I've been living here. So just allowed life to drive you, you know, like really it's about that uh trust in Gas, in God, universe, source, whoever you want to call it, because we're always shifting, even though if we don't want it, I mean we keep growing and evolving, and and it's about being open to those possibilities, to those new ways to live better, to and love and to enjoy life. Because you are here to enjoy life, not to be stuck in in misery or in a nine to five that you don't like, or in a marriage that you feel stuck, or in a situation that it makes you feel uncomfortable. It's coming back to the first two things that I started with: courage and resilience. Have that courage to go through that fear of whatever you have to go through to move forward. You have it in you, you have that power, you do so. Use that courage, use just that power and that resilience because that resilience keeps building up and up and up, and is the one that is going to propel you forward to stretch yourself for another step and from another step and for another step, because this life is worth living. Every step of it when we are up the top, and we when we are down the hill in the hole as well. That's the roller coaster of it, and it's worth living. So don't forget that. Keep enjoying your life one way or another. Find ways to feel better every day, even if it's a little bit of the misery that you are feeling at this moment. But there's hope. And there's places where you can find them just, you know, by being outdoors and breathing fresh air, just by being grateful for what you have at this very moment. Because the truth is that gratitude is so important because that's the only way that you're gonna be able to appreciate whatever you are asking for to receive, otherwise, you're just gonna receive it and keep going and keep asking and whatever. But no, it's about enjoying the journey. So that's my invitation. Yeah, that's my invitation. So in this Canadian Keynesian era, resume that I just shared with you is that yes, enjoy life, you deserve it, you are worthy, you are whole, you are loved, and you can do it. And if you request some support, I am here for you. I'll be more than happy to support you in your journey. Thank you so much for being here, for listening to my stories here. I hope you enjoy it. I I did actually. It took me a bit to find uh the tune to get in here and share it. And I'm so glad that I did it because it feels so good, it feels so freeing. And I hope that in a way you feel inspired in a little tiny story for the ones that I that I shared because I'm sure that you can relate to some of these things more if you are an immigrant or if you have moved to live in another country, or you know, anyway, all this that I share is actually about life transitions, and we're always transitioning, so yeah. Thank you so much again. Much love to you. Much love to you. Take care, and until next time, share this with your friends. Thank you for tuning in to Midlife Butterfly. I hope this episode empowers you in some way. Share the love by hitting follow wherever you're listening and leave a review if you feel inspired. I also love to connect with you. Come say hi on Instagram at Midlife Butterfly. I love to know you. Until next time, keep spreading those wings and live enjoy, growth, and pleasure!

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