Midlife Butterfly | Identity, Reinvention, Transformation, Grief, Self-Worth, Empowerment & Spiritual Awakening

#41 - The Spark of Resilience: Finding Light Through Healing & Service with Casey Taton

• Kena Siu • Episode 41

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Ever felt like life cracked you open just to remind you who you truly are?

In this heartfelt episode, Kena sits down with Casey Taton, a woman whose story of illness, surrender, and rebirth will awaken your own inner strength. Once a healthcare worker suddenly on the other side of the hospital bed, Casey faced years of uncertainty, pain, and misdiagnosis — yet what emerged was a radiant story of resilience, service, and love.

Through her foundation Little Moments, Big Dreams Celebrations, Casey now brings light and laughter to children in hospitals, reminding us that joy can exist even in the hardest places. Together, she and Kena explore the art of receiving help, slowing down, trusting divine timing, and letting love move through you.

By the end, you’ll feel inspired to see your own challenges as sacred teachers — guiding you back to presence, connection, and your spark of resilience.


✨ In This Episode, You’ll Learn

  • How pain can become your path to purpose and deeper love.
  • Why learning to receive support is part of healing and abundance.
  • What happens when you slow down and trust divine timing.
  • The truth about resilience — it’s not about strength, it’s about surrender.
  • How community and sisterhood awaken joy even in the midst of struggle.


🦋 Reflection Questions

  1. Where in your life are you being asked to receive instead of do?
  2. What if your greatest challenge is actually an invitation to deepen your connection with yourself?
  3. How might your story inspire others when you begin to share it from love instead of fear?


If Casey’s story sparked something in your heart, share this episode with a woman who’s in her own healing or reinvention season.

How to find and support Casey:

Little Moments Big Dreams Celebrations: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1APmU1vTUe/

Become a Sponsor - Venmo: https://venmo.com/u/Little-Moments

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cataton/

Facebook Profile: https://www.facebook.com/casey.taton

Facebook Group: Little Moments Big Dreams Celebrations - https://www.facebook.com/groups/LMBDC/


Midlife empowerment podcast, healing journey women, spiritual awakening midlife, resilience story, reinvention after illness, women receiving love, self-trust and surrender, finding purpose midlife, finding purpose after illness.


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Learn more about RESET, the Intimate Women's Retreat to pause, play & connect. From October 23-26 in the Laurentians, close to Montreal, Qc, Canada. Check the details and reserve your spot: https://midlifebutterfly.ca/resetretreat - Over 30% discount. DM for details!


If this story touched your heart, share it with another woman who’s navigating her own transition.

And if you’re ready to reconnect with yourself and create your next chapter with more freedom, joy, and alignment, join me on Instagram @midlifebutterfly
or explore The Butterfly Path coaching journey.

Download the Midlife Butterfly Guide with 5 Radical Practices to Heal, Take Your Power Back & Rise

Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

Kena Siu:

Resilience isn't just about bouncing back. It's about sparking light in the darkest places. And our guest today embodies that beautifully. Midlife Butterfly, a woman in the sacred in-between. She's not who she once was, and not quite who she's becoming yet. She's unreveling, awakening, remembering. She's navigating like trans divorce, lost with a patient. With burning retire for freedom, joy, and self-ledity. She feels the pull to ride, to fly. She's no longer afraid of her own weight. Welcome back to the Midlife Butterfly Podcast. I am Ken a Siu, your host, and I have the privilege of welcoming a woman whose story is filled with courage, resilience, and an unstoppable spark of love. Casey Taton is the founder of Little Moments, Big Dreams Celebrations, an organization that brings light and laughter to children in hospitals through parties for different occasions and events, with the mission to make the hospital a less scary place and allow them to find some joy. She is the host of Inner Spark Podcast and has a community called Soul Sparks and Connections, where women can connect and collaborate. In this conversation, we're going to explore how Casey's story of healing and courage has not only shaped her path but also sparked light in the life of others. Casey, welcome. It's an honor to have you here.

Casey Taton:

Oh, thank you, Kina. You're such a beautiful person. Thanks for having me.

Kena Siu:

Oh, it's it's it's a pleasure, and I know that this conversation is gonna be very inspiring because you are inspiring, and I can see your spark just seeing you glowing now, having you in my presence. So, yeah, I'm very happy to have you here.

Casey Taton:

Oh, thank you. I receive that, and it's such an honor to be here. Thank you.

Kena Siu:

So, I would like to start for us to tell us your story, that mystery illness that you have at one point that helped you build your resilience and drive you to the path where you are now where you can spark the life of many people.

Casey Taton:

Yeah, so I actually was sick when I was a baby with spinal meningitis, and it is not something I was only a few months old, so it's um not something I really talk about, but I do know like the body remembers.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Casey Taton:

And so as I got older, I was pretty healthy. I did all the things, I was living my dream, what I thought was my dream life, and I was working in the operating room and I started getting sick, and my life pretty much came to a stop. And yeah, what it when I say stop, I mean like I my I lost my job. I was starting to I became like unable to eat and drink. It was a process, like I started eating less and less and less, and then I would start feeling myself like getting sick, and I would throw up. And I remember asking like doctors for help, and there wasn't any answers really. It was a long battle. Finally, like I quit my job. I was losing weight at an extremely fast pace. I wasn't, you know, wasn't healthy. I finally got admitted to this is this is like over months of like trying to fight, trying to figure out what was wrong with me. And I got admitted to our local to my local hospital. And I think it shook me because I worked in Western medicine from right out of high school to like working in the operating room, helping surgeons side by side with them. And they were like, We don't, we don't know what's wrong with you. And so then when I got admitted to the hospital, they ran a bunch of tests and they had diagnoses showing that my stomach had stopped. And the answer was I had gastropresis. And in my mind, I was like, your stomach just doesn't stop. So like anytime I would eat or drink, yeah, I essentially it would I would throw it back up. I wasn't able to keep it down. Okay, yeah. And so I their answer to me, well, let's go back a little bit. I remember hearing that and thinking, okay, like, well, what's what's next? What do I do? And in that process, I I saw a psych doctor, I saw all kinds of people coming in my room, out of my room, and I had a psych doctor come in my room for like five minutes. She was in there. I I remember looking at the clock when she came in, and then I remember her leaving. And it was just a general conversation. And I remember her asking me questions like, you know, do you feel depressed? Do you feel any of these things? Like, have you ever made yourself throw up? And I was like, and I clearly remember myself laying there saying, Well, like, I've made myself throw up, like one time, you know, like when you get food stuck in your throat and you like stick your finger in your and you have like that panic filling. And I was like, but that's the only time. And so she left the room, and I remember when mom coming back, I'm adult, an adult at this time, you know, with living, I thought, my best life. And I had told my mom I'd seen this doctor, and she asked how it went, and I was like, Well, what it went great. She was only here for like five minutes. And my mom was like, Oh, okay. Do you think it went great? And I was like, Yeah, she was here for five minutes. She asked me a few questions, like, I remember what she asked me, and then she left. And come to find out in those five minutes, she translated that to I was severely depressed, I wanted pain medicine, I was anorexic and bleemic at the same time, and like at like attention seeking. And I was like, whoa, like wow, yeah, I remember crying, feeling embarrassed, and like so like how did this just I just was mind blown. Like, how did this just happen to me? Like, this lady was in here and asked me questions. I was 100% honest, never thought it would lead me anyway to these accusations of what she was accusing me of. And at that point, I just remember crying and being so embarrassed. And I remember my mom fighting for me, saying, telling the doctors, you don't understand. You you just did a test that showed her stomach is not working. And also, my mom was like, if my daughter was doing this to herself, I would be the first person in here asking you for help. I would not be covering through my daughter. I don't know, maybe people do that. And and I'm not putting any shame on people who have those conditions. I understand they are all very real conditions, but it's something that I had never experienced and never thought of. So when I was accused of those things, I was like, what in the world is happening? I'm out of this hospital, I went out of this place. And so I I stayed there and I saw more doctor, more doctors came in, and basically the option they were giving me is we're gonna put a feeding tube in you. And I was like, oh no, like I'm not settling. I had put feeding tubes, you know, assisted putting feeding tubes in patients. Okay, and like I wasn't living a quality life, but I also knew that was not the quality of life I was gonna settle for. I love the lake, I love the water, it brings me so much joy, and you can't get in the lake with a feeding tube. You can't get those things wet. And I was like, I'm not settling for this. And they were like, You're gonna get one before you leave. And I was like, No, I'm not. And I will leave this hospital. And so, I mean, they just kind of all looked at me like, Well, we'll see you back soon because you're not gonna live if you don't do this. And I was like, Well, okay, and so I left the hospital and cried, and I was like, I don't what do mom like I don't really know what we're gonna do. And my mom's like, Well, you like you just spoke your voice of like I'm not settling for that, and she's like, We'll figure it out. And so obviously we came home. By the grace of God, I I bought a house three houses down from my parents. So if I wouldn't have done that, I probably would have had to move back in with my parents because I was so sick and so weak. But since I was so close, my parents could just walk down the street and help me. And so I thought for a while, and I knew that I had to go out of my state, that I was now like red flagged, and we only have two different hospitals here in Wichita, and that I was red flagged, and that there was gonna be no answer. Every doctor I saw was gonna see all these things that I was accused of, wrongly accused of. And so I traveled to Mayo. That was a big thing. I had uh ask for help from the community, and I had a friend that came in town, and uh she I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna get there, like I'm gonna lose my house, I'm not working, I'm gonna lose everything I have, and she helped me ready to go fund me. And then she also told me that she never realized like I could tell her how sick I was, but until you're living with someone, you're not actually experiencing it all. And so when she came and stayed with me, it was like, oh, she's really sick and she really needs help. And so I wrote a GoFundMe, and because at this time I've been not had a job for months, like my parents are paying for my house, they're paying for me to be able to live. I mean, they're paying for everything. And so how old were you, more or less? Um yeah, so I I'm 42 now and I was in my 30s when all those are. So the community support was amazing. I probably would have never I would have never done it without her because telling the community and declaring that I was sick and that I needed help was not the old Casey. There was so much embarrassment around it. And for my family, my father's a small business owner. Um, I think he felt like he wasn't being a father or doing his job, and they were providing for me. So I was like, it's not nothing about you guys, not it's just we need more money to be able to go out of state. And so I live in Kansas, and the Mayo Clinic is in Minnesota, so being able to travel and stay there and get a hotel is very expensive, and we have there is no timeline on when you get up to Mayo. So I finally made it up to Mayo Clinic and I reached out to them and I was accepted as a patient. And I saw a few doctors up there. And I the first lady I saw, you know, she just yeah, she agreed that they redid all the testing. She agreed I had gastropresis. I resell a psych doctor who thank God for him, gave me my sanity back and made me feel okay because he was like, I don't really know what your town did or said. He's like, but I don't see any of these things in you. He's like, I see a human being that's fighting for her life. And yeah, and he acknowledged that to me and that he would do anything he could to write back to my hometown to say that he didn't believe didn't agree with what they said.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, I guess that was such a relief for you, right? That finally somebody took the time to listen to you, yeah, and to know more about it. Because how come this person with five minutes just have a whatever diagnosis for you? And and you are like, How are you gonna go against a doctor in those cases, right?

Casey Taton:

And then you also become really careful about what you say because I like replayed that conversation that I had with her, like as a human to a human, like, where did I go wrong for her to say all these things? So, yeah, who do I trust and who can I trust now? And so that was another whole experience that I was going through. Was like, I don't know what to tell these people for them to believe me or to trust me. Like they had a test in front of them and they still didn't believe that. Like, what more do you need? And so, yeah, that was a that was a relief. I saw a lady up there who wanted to put me on some medicine and send me home, and she wasn't really sure, but my grandfather has Crohn's, and so she she did agree that I had gastropresis, my stomach wasn't functioning, and I just was like, there has to be more, like there has to be more to this. My gut, my instincts were telling me like keep fighting. This this is not the answer. And so she did send me to another another doctor who specialized in like Crohn's and other things, and he was the other doctor that actually listened to me. He sat down with me and let me talk. I remember just following to him telling him, like, I just want answers and I want my life back. And so he kind of went through, we went through more testing. I spent weeks up there doing testing, and he was like, I think I know what you have. And that was like the biggest relief answer besides just the diagnosis that they had already given me. And so we did some testing, and he's like, Well, I do believe it's called malls is the short term, and it's median arcuate ligament syndrome, and it's where the ligament um and like runs across your chest and down and like through your diaphragm, and it's basically cutting off the artery that flows the blood into your stomach. And so somehow, yeah, somehow my artery was being crushed or being compressed by the ligament, and my stomach wasn't getting the blood flow it needed to keep everything moving and to keep, you know, like it had all stayed alive, don't get me wrong in that, but the blood flow to like keep food going through it and to keep it functioning. And so they had just he had sent me to a surgeon there that he thought could do the surgery at Mayo, and they had just switched teams, and that surgeon didn't agree and kind of wrote me off. And so I remember going back to him crying, and he wasn't even in office that day, or he was like in office, but he was still in sync patients, and I was like, you know, I'm supposed to leave. I remember telling the front desk lady, like, I'm supposed to be leaving, flying back home or driving back home. I don't remember if I flew or drove at drove that time, but my mom was with me, and I was like, This doctor said no, so what do I do now? Like, I can't stay another week. And so they went back and talked to him. He was still there, and so he saw me, and he said that he didn't he did not agree with that surgeon, and that they had just had a big change in their surgeons, and that he did believe this is the condition that I had, and he was going to write a referral outside of their clinic, which is very, very big for the Mayo Clinic to refer you to another clinic. And this doctor went above and beyond and did this for me. It was such a relief and such a I didn't I didn't know at the time, and I didn't know until I got back home, until I saw like my GI doctor here in my hometown, that he was like, I guess he's like a world renowned doctor, and like his father's very high, and they've wrote all kinds of books, but I didn't see him as that. I saw him as another human listening to me cry and looking at my mom's face and telling me there was hope and telling me that he thought he knew the answers, and so he helped me get into another clinic. That was the Cleveland clinic where I had my first surgery. So I had to travel quite a few times for surgeries. So I went to Cleveland when I had a laparoscopic surgery, and in the middle of that surgery, they nicked my aorta and they clipped it, put a clip on it to stop the bleeding, and they stopped the surgery. What it didn't, I did not know that at the time. Um I woke up and like it was a fast, it's a laparoscopic, so they were I was only gonna be there for like two days, and they were gonna allow me to fly home. I didn't know that at the time. They said that they had reported that the surgery went okay and that they thought everything would be fine. Well, when I got so I was in the hospital there for a day or two, and my aunt had actually gone to this with me and my mom, and we flew home in a big snowstorm. They were like, you can go home now or you can stay. And we chose to fly home right after my surgery. And I got home and I started having problems again. And I was like, How, how, like, this was the answer. I thought this was the answer. I thought I had my life back. And I I remember reading, getting a report in the mail that I had a clip on my aorta, that they had to stop the surgery, and they did not get my ligament cut all the way. Because they did hit, yeah, and so they did not, they didn't, they thought, and so when I called back, I was like, hey, I was never told these things. I realized I had a clip. I actually had had a like an x-ray or something that had showed it, and they were like, Do you know you have a clip in your chest? And I was like, No, but I've had surgery. And so then when I got the report, I was like, Oh, they did put a clip in me. Because I was like, that doesn't make sense to me.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Casey Taton:

And so that was where the curiosity began. It's like, huh, this is why. And so I called and they're like, Well, we thought there was a good chance that the surgery would still work, but we didn't get it, the the ligament cut all the way because we did hit your aorta. And so we would have to redo the surgery, and this time we would have to do it open. And so I knew that I didn't have another choice because I was starting to throw up again and everything, all my symptoms were starting to come back. And so I looked into it. Well, a couple months went by, and the surgeon at the Cleveland clinic, he moved to Dubai. And so then I had lost my surgeon. Yeah. And I was, and so, and that takes a, you know, doing an open procedure takes more of a team, and they were gonna have to connect it. And he has just said, I'm leaving for Dubai, and I'm sorry. They have a big clinic there, and I was like, Well, I'm not traveling to Dubai to have surgery. So I am in a Facebook community of people that have the condition that I have. And so with the support of them, I was able to find another doctor in Connecticut. So I got I traveled to Connecticut and I had open surgery with this doctor, and I stayed there for three weeks. I wasn't able to fly home. My mom went with me again. We ran into a hotel, did all the things, and I had to stay for three weeks because they don't want you to come home because they know that you're coming there for a reason. And if something happens, there's no one in my hometown that could take care of me. And so I stayed there until I was better, until I met the requirements and they did all the follow-ups, and then I was able to finally come back home. And now in the process, I also got a porta cath. So I have a port in my chest where they would give me like fluids and hydration and stuff like that. Because I they also killed my immune system along the way. So oh wow, yeah, it it's there's so many pieces, and this is like years of fighting. Yeah, and something in me, you know, knew from the beginning that I wasn't settling for the answer, and I wasn't settling for these people telling me this is it, and and I wasn't gonna settle for that kind of life.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, you and you knew it because you are here now. Yeah, you knew it. Yeah, wow. Yeah, thank you for sharing your story because it's I mean, I I I don't have a clue. I've been at the hospital already wise with a broken rest, you know, but you being there, and then I I I don't know, as you say, you used to help patients, you know what it's to be in a hospital, and then you being the patient itself, and then getting all the the answers, and then just people, I don't know, just uh not having the patience to take care of the patient itself is like you know, it's kind of like yeah, it's contradictory because you are the one who knows you are in your body, and how come is it that they just take it so so slightly that it took you all that and to go through all that people to you know to finally be heard and to have the treatment that you needed? Wow, so yeah, thank you. I mean, I'm so grateful that you are here and and that makes sense of who you are, of the light that you bring, of the energy and love that I can feel from you every time I'm in your presence, because that love for yourself and for life, it's it's felt felt and then with that dot all that courage and the resilience, now you're helping kids. You have the foundation, so I would like to know more about that.

Casey Taton:

Yeah, so I was always the person that was on the go, you know, from little to I mean, I was always in sports, competing, staying very active. And when I got sick, I didn't know what to do. When I finally started feeling better, I was like, I don't, I can't lay in this bed anymore. Like, what what is my life? What is my purpose now? I I didn't know. And I had a friend that had reached out, she had a surgery that went went bad here in our town, and she got life flighted somewhere else and or to a bigger hospital, still in Kansas, but out of our city, and she's better. She got she got better, and she reached out and was like, Hey, I'm I'm doing these these things, I'm doing these parties, and they were cook, she was cooking meals at like the Renault McDonald's house. And I was she's like, Would you like to help me? And I was just like, Oh, yeah, like that's something I can do. Yeah, I knew that I didn't know how much energy I would have, you know, I was still healing, but I knew there that would be something that would get me out of this bed, out of my house, and out of my head to fill uh purpose. And so I started helping her, and she had a son, and she we did it for a little while, and she's just like, I I'm not really getting the connection with the hospitals, and my son's getting more busy and more active, and he's growing, and she's like, Would you like to just kind of take over this? And I I said, Yeah, I had no idea what I was getting myself into, no idea. And so I remember going to this nurse and I was like, Hey, I am I'm gonna take over for what she's doing. What can we do? Like, how can we make this work? How can we make this grow? And this nurse is like throwing all these ideas, well, can we celebrate these kids? Can we do this? And I was like, sure. And then I walked out of there, and I remember thinking, Holy crud, what did I just say? Like, I just said yes, and I have no idea how I'm going to pay for that. I have no idea where the things are gonna come from, but I'm gonna figure it out. Yeah, and I did, and I reached out to the community, and now we're like six and a half years later. We do, yeah, we do, I have a great group of volunteers. I keep it very community-based. I want the community to be involved and around these kids, and so we do birthday parties for kids. We have a lot of kids here fighting cancer. So we do their milestone treatments, we do when they finish some certain type of treatment along the way. Any kid, it's not just cancer kids, though. We have so many other conditions here that people don't talk about, and kids that are fighting different things. We do those kinds of parties for them when they finish any type of anything, and then we do like sunshine bags. Also, you know, like my condition wasn't cancer, but it was the it's a long road, it was a long journey for me, and it did stop my life. So, not comparing the two, not saying one is you know different than the other, but just saying that no matter what someone's going through, I wanted them to feel the love. And so I've done kids from like the age of two or like two months all the way up to like 22 years old.

Speaker 3:

Oh, yeah.

Casey Taton:

And we so the sunshine bags, I think I kind of skipped that. The sunshine bags are for like, you know, I think you said you broke your arm. So I mean, that's traumatic for somebody who's never been in the hospital, especially if you're there for a long time. And so any kid that's been there like over a week or two that just needs a pick-me-up, we provide like those kinds of sunshine bags. We have snack carts at one of our local hospitals. Um, we have them on the pediatric floors, and we do all kinds of events, holidays. We do 365 this year. People like, do you do you stop? I'm like, no, I worked in the OR. We still operated on Christmas, and these kids they fight 365 days a year. So we celebrate them all year long. Like they they don't get days off. Yeah, that's and so yeah, and so my mission is to bring smile and make it feel like not such a scary place. As an adult, I lied in there and I remember thinking, this is scary, you're staring at these plain walls, like there's nothing to do, even if I did feel like doing something. And so I wanted them to be able to connect, and I wanted them to be able to connect with the nurses. So, yeah, when the the nurses, yeah, the nurses get to bring in the cakes, the nurses give them the gift, and it it also brings a different connection with them to make them feel safer and seen, and it also takes a weight off of the parents' shoulders, especially if it's a birthday. We have a lot of families that come from out of town here, drive a few hours, and they don't know how long they're gonna be here, they don't know how long they're gonna stay, but especially if they hit big miles like a birthday or something while they're gone, they still want to be able to celebrate it. But how are they gonna get things? So, yeah, I do all we do all kinds of things.

Kena Siu:

That is so beautiful, and it's great that as you said, like you you celebrate different milestones and their birthdays, and and wow, that having that mentality that you say, like you know, like an OR that is like it's it's 365 days a year. That's it. And that's true because I mean, if these kids they have cancer or they have other things, like we don't know for how long they are going to be there. It's one day at a time. And I guess that's why you have this little sign behind you leave for today. Because tomorrow we don't know. And unfortunately, we take it for granted most of the time. Yeah, we know.

Casey Taton:

Yeah. That is something big that I learned. One of the things when I started doing these parties was I didn't didn't realize the connection that I would get to have with these some of these kids and the families. And actually, before COVID, we did arts and crafts with them. So that would give like the parents a break, and we would get to spend time with them and get to play with them. And so that was a deeper connection with a lot of those kids. And I never thought that I would lose kids. And I remember losing the first little boy, and his family had a run in memory of him. And we went out and helped with the run. And then a couple years later, I lost two girls that I was pretty close. One was from came in from out of town and the other lived here. And I become close with both of their families, and they were both turning 16 the same year. And I, you know, you don't know at the time that it's going to be their last birthday. Like I just did the birthdays. I remember like a mom reaching out to me and saying, Hey, we're in town. I know it's a Saturday. Is there any way? Like we just had to leave on the, you know, like leave on right then when they called. And we weren't, we weren't preparing for all this. Is there any way you could like throw a birthday together? She has a friend that's going to come in and see her from out of town, but like we don't have anything here. And it was like, Yeah, like, yeah, it's a Saturday. And yes, I have things going in a life, but that was more important. And I threw stuff together and you know, like went and got them some pizza and you know, decorations and put stuff together and took it to them. And that was the last birthday that and it brought so much joy to them. And I mean, we didn't know it was gonna be her last birthday. They sent me photos of her smiling and her having a good time with her friend, and yeah, that was her sick, that was her last birthday. She passed away after that. And so I've been to funerals, these families like have invited me to come to their funerals, and it's just an honor that they consider you part of your family, and you too become a part of their families because we're watching them go through so much.

Speaker 3:

So yeah.

Casey Taton:

Like what can you give us some examples? Yeah, I mean, at first I was really doing it for my own self of like, how do I give back to the community? The community gave me a chance. And these kids they're kids and they want to be seen as kids. They don't want to be seen as someone that's sick. They don't want, you know, like so. When you just get to go in and, you know, play with a kid and watch them smile and have fun, they're just so resilient. A majority of them, you wouldn't know they were fighting a battle because they are just happy go lucky kids with I'm just here to have the best time, and they're not thinking about tomorrow or the next day. They're living in the present moment, and it's just so beautiful. And the thank yous and the hugs, and I was up there at Christmas, and a little girl came running down the hallway and hugged me, and I was like, This is why I do these things. It's because I'm making an impact and these kids remember it. Just recently, we do Christmas in July. We turn in July, we turn the hospital into a beach Christmas Hawaiian theme. It's all right, it's so fun. I mean, it's so hot here, we turn it into like a beach thing, and so we turn like the whole floor into like a beach Hawaiian theme. We have a Santa come, we have you know, superheroes come, we do crafts and have snacks. And this year, one of the girls that I have done a party, I did a party party for in the past. This is like her second year helping me. Her and her mom come and they volunteer and she also makes posters for me. She spoke and I it took my breath. And she, I think the marketing team was up there interviewing us, like, why do we do these things? They everybody wants to know why why do you do this? Yeah. And she said, she had quietly said, I was the recipient, I was the recipient to getting those smiles. Like, I was the one that got to receive those smiles from her. And so they interviewed her and she asked me, I did interview her, or she interviewed me for her senior paper. She now wants to go on and be a child life specialist. And wow, they're the ones that I work with, the team that I work with to coordinate all these parties. And that's what she wants to do because she said, You wouldn't, I didn't think I was being thought about, heard, or seen, you made me feel all those things. And I want to go to college and bring that back to the hospitals. And so she she told her story, and it's moments like those when I I get a little frustrated or I feel like a little overwhelmed, like keep me going.

Kena Siu:

Yes, of course. Oh wow, you have me crying here. It's very touching because I mean, something that you again you started just from you trying to, you know, help back that community when you get the help that you needed and the support that you needed. And and it's hard more like for women to ask for help. It's so it is so hard. And and you the the impact that you are creating is so beautiful, and giving the opportunity to these kids and these families to have you know these moments of joy for whatever is last. But as you said, like they are present, they are there, they are joyful, and you're giving them that. It's such a beautiful gift, Casey.

Casey Taton:

Thanks. I I uh I I truly make it a community event. I go out to our local schools and have them make posters, and we rely on the community for donations. I have people like within the last year recently sending, you know, things over. We have an Amazon wish list, and I have people like sending us money money on Venmo or donating, you know, buying us things off the Amazon wish list and sending them here. And I'm it's just gonna keep growing. I know it. Of course I will. Yeah, it's gonna be like, yeah, it's gonna keep growing, and these kids need things outside of the hospitals as well to connect, to just be kids and to live and to get to, you know, see other kids relate with other kids. And the parents, they oh the parents touch my heart every time because they are so grateful that someone is seeing them. And they also need the support from other parents who have gone through something. And so I often don't don't want to take the credit for it because I'm like, yes, I'm I am the face of my organization, right? Like, yes, I am, and but I truly want it to be other kids giving back, other businesses giving back, other people. I just can relate to the families because I've been through the journey and spent a lot of time in the hospital myself. So I think that's just where the deeper connection comes in, and but it's truly just our community is great when you look out. People say this world is not a good place, and I'm like, open your eyes a little bit bigger. There's so many good things happening, and so many people loving on people they don't even know. But if you you just gotta be open your eyes and look around, and yeah, it's just magical.

Kena Siu:

Oh wow, that's true because I guess it's probably for people who we haven't been much in hospitals, it just creates uh an impact, right? And you see that something something's bad because then a dear one it's it's sick, it's it's there for a reason, yeah. Right, but as you say, like once being there, and it's just bringing me the memory when my father was at the hospital, there's so much love in there. There is so much love, and and that's true, it's about seeing that and propagating that, and also like the gratitude that we can bring to the people who are supporting them there, and and then to the people like you that you can bring that gift to those kids and to those parents as well, because I cannot imagine being a parent having to grow through that.

Casey Taton:

Yeah, I think there's there's so much love and support if you're at a place when you're sick if you can open and receive it. There's people that want to help and want to, you know, give you things or just you know, have a conversation with you, you know, just so you still feel like you're a human being. We want connection and not just to be left alone.

Kena Siu:

Yeah. And it's about as you say, I mean, that's what it's about those little moments, right? Those little moments that can bring you that that spark, and it's just it could be for a few minutes or it could be for a few hours, and it doesn't matter, it's just that moment of bringing you joy and presence with another person and bringing that connection, yeah, yeah. Ah, he's so beautiful.

Casey Taton:

Thank you.

Kena Siu:

So, besides the story of this little girl that you say, the the one who celebrated that you celebrated her last birthday, and of course you didn't know. Do you have any other like very like I guess all of them are special moments, but that's something that is more memorable for you, or that it touched you a bit at a deeper level?

Casey Taton:

I think probably the the girl that is now going to college that came back and volunteered for me. Yeah, really opened my eyes to and I hope to have her on my podcast sometime because she's so beautiful, and I never you don't think about these things because she was she is older, and so you know, I do kids all ages, and the the younger kids are fun. I hear more feedback from the younger kids as families. But when she reached out to me to ask to interview me for her senior paper for high school, I was like, What? Like, what why would you want to interview me? Like, what I just this is what I do, and she's like, But what you're doing made a lasting impact on me and changed my life in a place when I I wasn't seeing the hope. And so, yeah, for her just to say that and then come back and volunteer and get to give the joy back to other kids, and now she's going to college to you know get all these degrees to do things, and she promised me she'd come back home for caught for breaks and help me. Yeah, because she's yeah, her and her mom are just a light, and they travel. I mean, they they're they're like an hour away, so we're their closest hospital and over an hour away, and we're their closest hospital, so they travel, and it's just so great to get to connect. I have my family that lives a few hours away, and they let me know when they're gonna be back for their appointments, and I usually try to stop by the hospital and see them, or you know, like she loves McDonald's, so even if I just drop her off some McDonald's to eat, like it's just the little things that that take your breath away.

Kena Siu:

Okay, wow. I wanna turn things around a bit. Yeah, I mean, it's so this is so inspiring, and you being, I mean, uh, yeah, I mean, it's simply so inspiring. What can I say? And we're gonna put all the information about your foundation and your podcast in the show notes so people can reach out and and support you and the community and all those kids that they really need a spark and enjoy and a cake and balloons that you know that we might take for granted, but for them it might be a world to have something like that in a little, you know, in a little room. So yes. Well, since we know each other over a year and we're just such a beautiful sister, and turning it around to our midlife where we are at this moment. I know you had a frozen shoulder, yes, which is something that is not very known and to women who are going to perimenopause on menopause on menopause. So I would like us to to share about your story a bit about about that, and then also the learning lesson of having to slow down.

Casey Taton:

Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I you hear about these things, but it's something that it's not talked about. And I I told you once I got better, even though I I still and you know, I have some autoimmune things that I deal with. I I joined a boxing gym for a while and then I switched to CrossFit and I play was playing colored soccer. And so I I just like to go. I like to move my body. And I think some of it is from like I spent years in my bed sick, and I was like, this isn't me. But also I was like that as a child. I I wanted to go all the time. I was competitive. And so I woke up one morning. I I love CrossFit. I there's nothing better than throwing a heavy barbell down. And if you would have told me that, like before I started, I looked at these people like you're crazy. You do what for fun? You like lift these weights and you climb these ropes and you like jump over boxes and you run and you slam balls. Like, how is that fun? There is something so fun and so so fulfilling about doing these workouts every morning, and I love it. And I went and I love the community that our gym has. And I woke up and I was not able to lift up my shoulder, lift up my arm. And so, yeah, at first I just thought maybe I just messed up a muscle. I kind of had felt it like it was getting stiffer and I didn't know what was happening, and I thought I just messed up something. And come to find out, frozen shoulder is a common thing. I went, I went to the doctor after I was like, I can't I can't get dressed, I can't get my clothes on. It stops everything you're doing when you can't reach your hair, yeah, reach your teeth, you know, cut your food. Like I could actually at that time I could cut my food because it had just affected my shoulder. And so I went to my doctor and he's like, Yeah, it's a common thing. If you take steroids, get the inflammation out of it, sometimes we can do an injection in it, do physical therapy, you know, do some stretches in a couple weeks, it'll be fine. That was not my case. I uh I was super aggressive with it, and I don't know, like I was like doing massages, like what did I do to myself? I did healing work. I was like, if there's like old stored trauma in there, like, get it out, body, I love you, like whatever. I went to physical therapy and they were scraping me. And so, in the process of my frozen shoulder, they also damaged the ulnar nerve at my elbow. It somehow got damaged. And I don't know if it was so with frozen shoulder, like I couldn't lift my arm up. I had to have assistance. I had to ask, ask, receive, ask, you know, all those wonderful things. They that's I think it started at the end of March. And now we're like in September. September. Wow. And so has it improved though? Yeah, so my range of motion has improved. I did lose, so they did hit my ulnar nerve and my elbow, and I lost full function of my left hand. I woke up one morning and my hand was like clawed and like stuck at my chest or like stuck at my waist, and I couldn't move my fingers. I was like dropping things, and so I like stroke tested myself and I was like, What am I gonna do? But I'm not going to the ER. And we have an orthopedic ER. And so I went there and she was like, Oh, yeah, you your ulnar nerve is when people lean on it, they type. If you put pressure on your elbow, your ulnar nerve is right there and it's very sensitive and it controls these fingers. So if you damage it or push it out of where it's supposed to be, you lose control in these fingers. So I spent time, I could not cut my own food, I could not dress myself. I got, you know, I would yeah, I had to ask for everything. I washed my hair, and at one time the farthest my hand would go was like right here. Well, then when I lost function in my hand, yeah, I was like, How do I one hand everything? And I just adjusted, I did have an injection where they went in and filled the cup. There, there's like a cup that holds fluid right there, and they filled that up, and it's it's better. I've done a lot of healing work. I also am in two alternative therapies, and so I do red light therapy, I do the freeze, the i cryo freeze. We have an icryo here, I do their freeze chamber, and I do all the red light beaming. I have a natural doctor as well as a medical team here, and so I let my natural doctor work on it. I've done healing sessions to see if there was like trapped emotions because I I believe in it all. Um, once you fought a battle, I think it opened my eyes to see the world as a different place. And so come to find out it is a very, very common thing. I did a podcast episode on it, and all these women reached out to me, and I was like, What? Like, how did I never hear about this before? And what do you do? And it was like some people were like, Oh, it was gone in like two weeks, and some people were like, It's been years, and they were like, Welcome to Perimenopause, and I was like, Wait, what? What whoa, like I I just turned 42 in June. Like, what is happening to me?

Kena Siu:

Yeah, and why Lero, I knew about it because of you. I'm like, what's a frozen shoulder? Like, what is this thing?

Casey Taton:

Yeah, it I mean, it is something real. I yeah, I saw all kinds, I've seen all kinds of doctors. I can actually lift my arm up, like with assistance. It's not gliding, you can't see it in the video, but I can lift it up. I do wear braces at night, still trying to get the function back in my hand. So I have an MRI schedule just to make sure I didn't tear anything. But the big thing I you want to know, the big thing I learned.

Kena Siu:

Yes, please.

Casey Taton:

So I I've learned a couple huge lessons.

Kena Siu:

I know you did, and I want you to share because yeah, I know, yeah, uh some people can relate, and not only because of having a frozen shoulder, because of any other kind of you know, illness that we can get, and we are, I mean, we get pushed, right? Yeah, and uh yes, yeah, please share your your lessons.

Casey Taton:

Uh there are tons of lessons I learned. I was a go-er doer, and I'm not gonna lie, it has not stopped me. I still go to my CrossFit gym every single morning and I walk on the treadmill because I I still get up early. Yes, I'm that person that's like I want to be surrounded in the community and I still want to move my body. However, it stopped me, it made me ask for help because I could not carry anything, do anything with my left arm. And I don't think if anybody needs a challenge, go function with one arm today. Go like opening jars when you have no grip in your hand, cutting my food. I've had to learn to slow myself down. It's well, it forced me. I, you know, so I started with the frozen shoulder and I was pushing myself. And then when my ulnar nerve got damaged, then I was like, okay, this I I said I slowed down, but did I really slow down? Like I could still use my fingers then, so I don't think I really slowed down enough when the universe is God, whatever you want to call it, it's like I need you to stop for a second. I thought I stopped and I didn't really stop until I was like, okay, I'm gonna have to ask for help, and I am going to have to be able to allow myself to receive help. And how am I going to organize my life where I can still eat? I am gracious enough. Uh, my boyfriend is super amazing, and we meal prep our food anyway for most days, but I couldn't use a knife and a fork to cut my food. So he cuts all my food, my parents help me cut all my food. I wouldn't go out to eat for a while because I was like, Do you know what it's like to go to a restaurant and not be able to cut your own food or like hold a plate and like that person like scrambling it around? It's like all the things you don't think of.

Kena Siu:

Yeah.

Casey Taton:

And so I have learned to slow down my life, and that's that's the biggest one is slow down and ask for help. And people will help you if you ask, and you have to be okay asking and receiving, of course, and and that's the thing.

Kena Siu:

Uh it's hard to receive when we are givers, it's hard to receive. But what we don't know is the fact that abundance it has to be a cycle of it, and we have to allow ourselves to receive.

Casey Taton:

And that's probably another huge lesson because when I got sick, I did allow people to help me, but I was embarrassed about it. And so this was like another sign like, hey, you're not allowing fully the receiving in. And so now you thought you got healthy, but now we're gonna throw this at you and like make you stop and think about what are you doing in your life? Are you fully allowing it in? Are you allowing people to give back to you as much as you're giving out? And it was, yeah, so many, so many lessons in all this. Yeah. So welcome to midlife.

unknown:

Exactly.

Kena Siu:

I want to ask you because you you mentioned it way before at the beginning, and then you're mentioning now again that you feel embarrassed. Why why do you think you feel like that, or or or what is it that is coming from that you think that you feel like that?

Casey Taton:

I think I'm working my way through it. I just I'm not gonna, I'm gonna be honest, it does creep in every now and then. Especially with the work I do, because those kids are embarrassed that they're sick. I mean, they're embarrassed when they lose their hair. And if I don't work on myself, I can't fully give to them and tell them it's okay if I'm embarrassed of my own self. I was embarrassed that I I went from this great job to almost losing everything. And then I had to ask for help, and I think it's the things in the life that you learn, like you just go and you do things and you figure it out. You know, you I God love my parents. When you have a dad that runs a machine shop, it's his own, he's his own boss, he's like also a great father, but it was like he's figured it out, and that's what he does. And so that's kind of been the mindset I had is to just figure it out, and so I think there was embarrassment around I don't I don't know how to figure this out and do it by myself, and I can't do it by myself. And so really having to lean on other people. Also, that I I think I held that I thought I was doing that I was healthy, and I I am gonna claim that I am healthy. I am well, like I'm just experiencing this right now, and there's always a reason and a season why we experience different things, and so this was another eye-opening thing for me. That's really just brought me back to is your heart open? Are you gonna allow yourself to receive the love, receive the words, receive help? And you can't give to these people if you don't allow it in.

Kena Siu:

Yes, yeah, and again, a lot of surrender in there, right? Like a lot of it, because we are like, okay, I surrender, and then we have the resistance. It's like, no, I surrender again, and then the resistance comes.

Casey Taton:

Oh, I can't I can't tell you how many times I've like laid on the ground and been like, God, universe, like I'm listening, like just give me the answer. Like, I just full face bawling, crying, like gone and grabbed a donut and ate a donut, and was like, I don't even like donuts, but I'm gonna eat it because I'm like, no, I'm so I don't even know what to do. And then I like would cry again of why did I eat the donut? Why I don't even like those, and why am I going through this? And it's just like, okay, I give there's lessons and patience, and patience is my key to moving forward. I have an MRI coming up, they're gonna do an MRI on my shoulder just to make sure there's nothing torn in there because it's been such a long journey. Okay, and here comes the patience lesson because it got bumped back, it was supposed to be next week, and the hospital doesn't have enough, they have to sedate me for it, and they don't have enough anesthesia team, and so it got pushed back two more weeks, and I was like, and I remember the call, like, are you kidding me? And I'm like, Okay, give it up. There's a reason and there's a purpose of like maybe this just needs some more healing time, and I need some more time to just allow myself to slow down, and it'll happen at the right time.

Kena Siu:

Yeah, yeah, that's yeah, that's the other element that trust in knowing that we are supported, we are guided, even when we're going to these challenging, you know, times, and yeah, and having that trust of it. Yeah, yeah.

Casey Taton:

I think one of the most powerful thing is is that if you're not involved in a community, every person, especially every midlife woman, should be involved in a community because the power of other women, other ladies connecting on such a deep level, and not just a hey, how are you doing level? Yeah, I'm so grateful that we get to meet weekly and spend time with each other because you guys have taught me so many lessons. Like, I'm so grateful. It's it is a gift, and I know that you have a community that you offer so much in, and your bright light and just the deep connection, and it's needed everywhere. Yeah, it is needed, yeah.

Kena Siu:

Like, yeah, well, it was great, you know, that I was in your community to offer, you know, my workshop, and then I had the opportunity to do it here in person, and uh, you know, and it's just we yeah, we need to be listened and seen and supported, or even just you know, be in a safe space. Sometimes, you know, we're going through a lot of stuff, and it's just like I just want to be in a safe space, I don't want to share, I don't, but uh just being there, it's more than enough to have that support from other, you know, from other people. And as you said, especially like among women, it's just it's a different energy. It's yeah, yeah. When we know we can be in a place that we're not judged, that you're just there to to give or receive, or just be simply be is oh so nourishing.

Casey Taton:

Uh the being. I mean, we can just Be like it's if you haven't been in the community, if there's someone listening that's not in a community, if you can't find one in person, there's tons online, we all have communities online. But if you have the opportunity to be in a community in person, it is so magical just to be able to hold space. I mean, and I'm I'm grateful for technology too. Don't get me wrong, because I mean we got to learn what you're doing now through technology, like through the Zoom, like we we don't get to be next to each other, but at the same time, I also get to fill you guys with me all the time. Like I can hear your voices in the back of my head because we've allowed each other that same that safe space, and that like it's just it's it's another thing. I don't I I don't know that people fully understand the power of it. And there's no judgment, it's that we're all going through, we've all been through different things, and no one's judging. We're just like we're all in this midlife situation, and let's rise together. Yes, and just like the butterfly, the butterfly rises. Like, I I love the name of your podcast because it's truly the purpose of this life is we're we're here to love each other and to rise together. Yeah, yeah.

Kena Siu:

And to the listeners, you know, to the women who are saying, like, where are these communities? We do exist, we do exist. It depends where we put the focus and the intention. If you are not in there, give it a try, search, and you will find because yes, they are. We we know now, right? Yes, yeah. Before I used to be in another kind of communities, and once we we start working ourselves and and the and knowing and being guided by this love that we feel for ourselves and for life, we can find people who are in that same energy, and it's just like so magical.

Casey Taton:

Yeah, it changes the whole way. Doesn't matter what kind of day you're having, you know, you're gonna rise with someone else.

Kena Siu:

Yes, definitely.

Casey Taton:

Yeah.

Kena Siu:

Ah, I guess that's beautiful to wrap up this conversation, Casey. But before that, I want to ask you a couple of questions. Like, how would you call this chapter of your midlife that you're going through at this moment?

Casey Taton:

Um well, some days I want to say it's like I'm a teen crying again, and I have no idea what's going on in my life. Other days I'm like, this is probably the best thing because I have other sisters to help guide me through this journey of life that I didn't know existed until it hit me, and I'm so grateful for that.

Kena Siu:

That's so beautiful. That's so beautiful. Accepting life as is, I think is the best that we can we can do. What is the pleasure that you enjoy the most?

Casey Taton:

I'm gonna tell you the lake, the water. I know that seems like a crazy pleasure, but just being in the lake, like if anybody knows me knows that I'm a lake girl. I love the surfing, I love being submerged in water. And when I'm not around the lake, I take a good good night shower, and I just let everything from the day just like wash off of me, and I just feel refreshed. But you are teaching me some new things, so I'm excited to learn.

Kena Siu:

Oh, my pleasure. We continue. Yes, yes, thank you so much, Casey, for sharing your story, for sharing your light, your love, your spark with us. Has been a pleasure having you here. We're gonna be I'm gonna be sharing all your contact information in the show notes so people can reach out to you and can support you with your with your organization to bring in that spark to to the kids and to the families that need it the most.

Casey Taton:

Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. You're such a light in this world.

Kena Siu:

You too. I love you. Love you. Here is a bonus part that happened after finishing our interview.

Casey Taton:

Enjoy midlife, is truly about like being that teen again. Before when we were a teen, we did the ugly cries, and people used to look at us like we were that teenager, and they would really just say, You're doing teen things. But in midlife, we're just ugly crying. Like our body, I have no idea why the fuck I'm crying, Kana. Like, why? There's tears running down my face, and I have no idea, and I feel like my body is not in control, and it is one of the most craziest things I've experienced. But I know there's another side to this when I get it all wrapped up and figured out, and it's also allowing me to cry and feel my feelings. Like, that's the truth of it is before we put like shame and those things on it when we were a teenager, like, oh, they're just doing these things. It's like we shut them down, and now we're adults doing these things, and our we're like, we don't know what's happening with our body, we we really don't.

Kena Siu:

No, we we don't, and the thing is, as we know, the studies about perimenopause and menopause just started in the 1990s, so of course we don't have much information. We're discovering it away, and it's just you know, allowing. But as you said, and we talk about shame yesterday with our sister Dana, it's about putting it out there to fade that shame away because it's that's not us, and it's happening to other people and the importance of speaking it up.

Casey Taton:

Yeah, and we're here to normalize that we're all gonna go through that wherever you are. You're gonna go through the paramenopause, you're gonna go through the menopause, and let's freaking talk about it.

Kena Siu:

Yes, let's talk about it. Thank you for tuning in to Midlife Butterfly. I hope this episode empowers you in some way. Share the love by hitting follow wherever you're listening and leave a review if you feel inspired. I also love to connect with you. Come say hi on Instagram at Midlife Butterfly. I love to know you. Until next time, keep spreading those wings and leave enjoy growth and pleasure.

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