#49 - Choosing Presence And Let Gratitude Lead

When life feels loud, heavy, or uncertain, gratitude becomes the doorway back to yourself — not as a cliché, but as an embodied practice that shifts your entire day.

In this heartfelt episode, Kena joins her pod sisters for an intimate conversation on what gratitude really looks like for a woman in midlife navigating change. You’ll hear stories, laughter, and practical rituals — from body scans to micro-moments, from “observe, don’t absorb” to choosing the energy you bring into the world.

This isn’t the performative gratitude you’ve been taught. It’s the kind that reconnects you with your body, regulates your energy, and anchors you into who you really are.

Whether you’re reinventing yourself, healing old patterns, moving through grief, or entering a new season, this episode will remind you that your daily practice — tiny, intentional, embodied — is what creates alignment, inner peace, and self-trust.

By the end, you’ll feel grounded, centered, and empowered to shape your day with presence and possibility.

✨ In This Episode You’ll Learn

• How to create a simple, loving gratitude ritual that actually feels doable
• Why body awareness is the key to self-trust and emotional regulation
• What happens when you shift from reacting to observing during stressful moments
• How micro-moments of joy rebuild your inner safety in midlife transitions
• The truth about choosing your energetic intention before you even get out of bed

🦋 Reflection Questions

1. Where in your day are you already experiencing micro-moments of gratitude, and not noticing them?
2. How would your energy shift if you started each morning by connecting with your body first?
3. What boundaries or intentions would help you stay centered during emotional or triggering moments?

Follow my Pod Sisters:

• Casey Taton: https://www.instagram.com/cataton 
• Jen Chambers: https://www.instagram.com/j_b_chambers

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✨ First You: Boundaries for Joyful Holidays

The holidays don’t have to drain you. Step into a space where your peace comes first, your energy is protected, and your joy gets to lead.

Inside this on-demand masterclass, you’ll learn how to create loving, guilt-free boundaries that keep you grounded, present, and actually enjoying the season — without overgiving, overextending, or abandoning yourself.

- Watch the Masterclass: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/firstyoumasterclass

Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Theme Of Gratitude
• 0:40 Holiday Context And Intentions
• 2:12 Year-Round Gratitude Mindset
• 3:02 Daily Body Scan Practice
• 4:26 Glimmers And Micro Moments
• 6:20 Movement, Healing, And Thanks
• 7:18 Step-By-Step Body Scan Walkthrough
• 10:24 Morning Intention And Energy Setting
• 12:20 Returning To Centre During Triggers
• 14:04 Tapping, Breath, And Boundaries
• 16:26 Observe Don’t Absorb
• 18:10 Closing Reflections And Takeaways
• 22:54 Final Gratitude And Listener CTA

Transcript

Kena Siu: 0:00

Let's talk about gratitude and how you can get to practice it every moment of your day. Yes, it is possible. Welcome, beautiful soul. This is Midlife Butterfly, the space where you remember who you truly are beneath all the roles, responsibilities, and expectations. I'm your empowerment guide, Kena Siu, and I hold this space for women in midlife who are ready to rediscover themselves, reclaim their joy, and live fully aligned. If you are new here, welcome to our cocoon. You've just entered a place where choosing yourself isn't selfish, it's sacred. I want to share the amazing conversation I had with my pod sisters Jen Chambers and Casey Taton, who wanted to share our perspectives about the holidays and Thanksgiving on her podcast Inner Spark. We end up talking about gratitude and how we use it on our day today. It had great insights, and I decided to share it with you as well. So be ready for some practicalities that you can put into your day today and also to have a good smile at the beginning since you can hear some wiggles in there. Enjoy.

Casey Taton: 1:17

Hey friends. Sorry. Friends, this is Casey Taton, your host, and I have with me today my pot sisters, Kena Siu and Jen Chambers. And we were just having a beautiful conversation. And as we're getting ready, we were talking about getting ready for the holidays and what the holidays feel like. And so we just want to share with you our thoughts on the holidays and what it feels like, and how we each have our own beliefs, our own thoughts, and how we just connect with what that really means to each of us and how it really feels. So Kina, I actually I'll just start. Does anyone want to say well, I'm gonna say this. First of all, we talk about gratitude a lot, and I think we associate Thanksgiving with gratitude and being grateful, and it is something that we work on all year long. And I don't think it's just a one-time thing. I think it's just truly tapping into the love we all get to share with each other and gratitude for the world, gratitude for all the things we do. And so kind of that that is really what gratitude means to me. It's not just a one-time, let's celebrate the holidays and really bring awareness to it then. It's really about bringing it all year round. Does anyone want to say what they how they feel about gratitude? Kina.

Kena Siu: 3:02

Yeah, I I do agree. It's I think it's it's a practice. I I do gratitude, I practice gratitude during my whole day. Like since I wake up, like thank you, like I can feel my body, and then I actually offer gratitude for, you know, like my toes, and they're my legs and my belly, and you know, I do a full scan, and then also like, yeah, I'm alive again. And uh, and then I'm grateful for the water that I'm drinking because the water is life, you know, and putting some love in there. I feel so grateful having these conversations with you ladies, you know, right now. And I also give gratitude every time, well, most of the time, when I eat, being grateful, not just for having the food there, but for everyone behind who made that possible, you know, and then also being grateful for the weather, whatever it is, but that's mother nature, it's cyclical. So it's it's really cool. I guess it's a way of seeing life because the more I practice, the more gratitude and more grateful I can be every moment.

Casey Taton: 4:12

I love that you just said that. It's really about being grateful for every moment and that you acknowledge that it's a practice. Yes. Yeah. Jen, do you want to share?

Jen Chambers: 4:24

Yeah, that's really key. I love that because the thing that's really hard about gratitude is that sometimes we always get down on ourselves because we don't feel grateful enough. I think about that all the time, actually. But I was actually talking to my therapist the other day, and he was like, But I feel like you are really excellent in noticing the small things in life. And he calls those, and I've heard it called glimmers, other places. And I mean, that's the way that I think that I'm practicing gratitude more often is noticing those small moments, like really tiny moments, like having a cat on your lap, or a really excellent cup of tea, or gorgeous sunset, or the fact that you got the wordle in two instead of five, or you know, just these little things. I think those are less intimidating to me than like, oh, I have to be grateful for everything in my whole life. And yes, I am, of course, but I don't feel it unless I really take the time to notice because I don't necessarily practice in that way that Kina does, and I really want to. I like that. So I guess the the the micro moments is how I'm practicing it more right now.

Casey Taton: 5:41

That is so good. I think it's yeah, it all comes down to a practice that even though we're each practicing it, like I mean, I do daily meditations, I write an in gratitude journal, and and so we're each practicing it in different ways, but just that we're also aware of gratitude, and it's not just a one-day thing. It's truly like this is how we live.

Jen Chambers: 6:09

Yes, and I love what Kina said about doing the scan. That's something that I have gotten out of the practice of doing, but I think that's a really easy way to tap into that because I am so incredibly grateful for the fact that I can walk. I mean, for me, that's a bigger deal than most people because there was a long time when I couldn't, you know, but like just the fact that my feet move, the fact that I'm able to do things for myself that I never thought that I could do. You know, that I think that having that daily scan of those things helps you remember to be grateful for the bigger things.

Kena Siu: 6:46

Definitely.

Casey Taton: 6:47

Yeah, I agree with you. I just I'll tell this story later on another podcast about me falling, and but it was just so much gratitude of like the people that helped me, and for like my mom helping me shower when I couldn't get my knee wet with stitches, and it's just like gratitude of our health. You know, there was so many like Thanksgivings and holidays that I wasn't able to attend before, and so I think I really love what Kina said about really just checking in with your body and doing the body scan. Kina, would you talk about that?

Kena Siu: 7:26

Yeah, sure. Well, I usually start with the with my toes. Like I so I so once I I I wake up still like under the blankets or the cheats, I just start like wiggling, you know, my toes, and then like, oh yeah, still, you know, like moving and then feeling the heels and then shaking a bit the legs and just being grateful, like, okay, it's still functioning, you know, and then checking also, you know, with with my womb and my belly and uh my chest. And then sometimes I put my heart in, you know, my hand over my heart and then saying, Yeah, still there, you know, still be eating there, and then go checking with the shoulders, and then well, for me, because usually when I am stressed, it's it's you know, that's where I get the heaviness in my shoulders. So it's like also noticing there, okay. So, uh, how am I feeling now that I'm awake and having the presence and also like moving the you know the arms and then okay, and then the neck, and okay, what's going on also in in my head and being grateful at the same time, like for my eyes, and you know, like sometimes I focus more on the on one thing, sometimes focus more on that and another thing, but it's just that connection with the body before doing anything else because that connection with ourselves that's the most important one. We gotta meet ourselves first, so then we can meet the world outside once we get out of bed.

Jen Chambers: 8:54

Oh, I love that so much. That's exactly that's I was thinking the same thing. I do that with my yoga practice. You know, you you feel more at home with yourself when you're grateful for your physical person. And in my yoga practice, like being being able to tap into your own presence is and really feel where you're at and feel grateful that your legs hold you up. And that, you know, I think that's a wonderful way to think about it, Kina, to to really like it all starts with the body in us.

Casey Taton: 9:29

It's so powerful that you, you know, we just brought it up of you know, we think about gratitude about other things, but really it starts within ourselves and just from the moment we open our eyes of being grateful, and just I love how you just shared. I kind of put you on the spot there. So thank you.

Kena Siu: 9:48

I'm just like, it's okay, my pleasure.

Casey Taton: 9:51

Like, can you I that's why I wanted you to share it because if you guys see her, she's if you would see her, she's like lighting up talking about it, and so it's like as you walked us through it, it was like I could feel myself like, oh, are my shoulders getting tense? Like you know, when you talk about certain things, it's but it's all becomes within us, and so we can be grateful for all the things outside us, but if we're not grateful for our own bodies and everything, like that's really where it all starts.

Kena Siu: 10:22

Yeah, and I want to add something. This practice, I just started it in I don't know, in the last weeks, really like tapping it into how I want to feel during the day. So I'm still there, and uh the sound of my alarm, I just make it a song, and like it's done, it's done, you know, it's done. That's what my alarm is telling me when it rings off in the morning. So it's like, what it's done. It's done that I'm feeling good today, it's done this dream that I'm having over here, it's done this other thing that I want to achieve, you know. So just by ah, you know, feeling all the chills before getting out of bed and saying, yeah, like this is possible, and filling up my body with this energy of positivism, most of the time, yeah, sometimes it's not, but it's like, and it's okay too, you know, accepting whatever emotions are happening there, but most of the time, like getting into this, you know, idea of yeah, it's possible. I uh you know, this body was giving by source, you know, by God, whatever you want to call it, and he's welcome to do everything. And it's you know, it's about tapping into possibility and non limitation.

Jen Chambers: 11:40

It's what you choose to to pay attention to, exactly before getting out of bed, right? Right, yeah, choosing to tap into the feelings of positivity and possibility rather than yeah, my you know, my ankle hurts. And yes, that also happens, but allowing space for all the things and pay attention to the things that that you and that way you're projecting the energy towards the stuff that you want.

Kena Siu: 12:14

I love that, and projecting the energy to to the day, right? Right, right. Things are gonna happen, they are always gonna happen, but at least if we start with that intention with it, that attitude, that day is gonna approach us differently because we have already another, you know, the energy, we are energy. So if our energy is projecting that the good things are gonna happen, most likely that's we're gonna get. Or if we, you know, stumble or something, then we're gonna be calling to okay, that happened, somebody pissed you off, you get centered again, or oh, you are sad, okay. But let's get center again, and then just coming back to that kind of intention that we are setting in since we wake up.

Casey Taton: 12:59

I love that so much that you just acknowledge that we set the intention, even if we're you know, wake up feeling like we're aware, maybe they have this ache or pain, but we just you know refocus on what we want to focus, that we actually have the choice to start our day, how we want to start it, and that you brought it back to center of like how people are gonna piss us off during the day. And that's I think huge, like especially when we're talking about going into the holidays, there's like all the added extra stress, and things aren't always gonna go the way you want. But you have the choice to come back to you at any point during the day.

Jen Chambers: 13:42

I have to share something really quick. My tip for that, and it works in the holidays for me, because yeah, there's gonna be those moments where there's gonna be one person that's annoying or you know, something happens during your day, especially in the holidays when your everybody's expectations are high. And it's easy, but my trick is if I can't like physically leave the room that it's happening, I just really quietly I do the tapping. I'll tap on my my chest or I'll tap on my lower arm, or I can even tap on my thigh if I'm at the dinner table and somebody says something that's really infuriating. Oh you know, and tapping brings me back. And then also just taking a couple deep breaths wherever I'm at. It's always a good reminder to me that, like, yes, I can come back to myself, and yes, I have these values, these boundaries that I've already set. And that helps for me, preparing and having those kinds of things in place is so helpful.

Kena Siu: 14:42

I love that, Jen. And as you said, we come back to the body, right? We're in control, so just you like noticing, okay, this is happening, this is happening, and it's like again, choosing from there, just taking a bit of deep breath and don't get attached to whatever conversation or whatever they are saying, because you know, you choose and say, No, I better just keep quiet. I'm okay, I'm okay, and just you know, yeah, yeah.

Casey Taton: 15:09

The awareness of it, like just becoming like I think we're all so aware. So if anybody's listening and they are like not aware, I think that's the first thing is be aware of your own thoughts and remember like you're in control of your own body and your own self. Because I love what Jen just shared of like just the power of stopping to breathe, just the power of tapping. Like, you can do that anywhere. And it I think it's just so important that we remember that. It's that you know, when we go to places, there's so many people, and it's like yeah, we can be positive and all this, but if something happens and we get triggered, it's not them. It's us, and it's like coming back home to ourselves and knowing like okay, this is you know, making my body get tense, the awareness, and then bringing it back home, and that you know, Jen just gave us great examples of how to do that, how to just come back home to ourselves, and it's no huge extreme thing, like anybody can do these things, yeah.

Kena Siu: 16:26

He's stepping into that awareness, and then and remember that we are the observer, you know, it's yeah, it's our dots, yes, yeah, your dots, but you're not your thoughts, just observe them. That's it, and as you observe your dots, observe other people too. I love I use I love this quote. It's it says observe, don't absorb. And we tend to then absorb what other people are saying or how they are acting and stuff, but no, it's not up to us, just observe them, and that's it. And that kind of if you think about it, it kind of yes, it's the holidays and stuff with that saying. I mean, that quote is like creating a little like energetic shield around you that's saying, Yeah, no, I'm in here, I'm in control of myself, not the other people. So I'm just gonna observe them and whatever they are saying, or you know, I don't want to get involved with that. I'm just gonna listen and it's okay. I'm observing, not absorbing, and it makes the difference a lot.

Jen Chambers: 17:37

Wonderful. I'm gonna like tattoo that on my thigh or something. That's amazing, or at least write it on a sticky note and put it in front of my door. It'd be a good reminder like before you leave, observe, don't absorb, observe.

Casey Taton: 17:55

That is so good. Yeah, that's great. Yeah, I know that we could carry on forever, but I just wanted to do a little short episode on just gratitude as we're walking into the holidays and to the end of the year, but really just how this practice is used all year for all of us. And I am so, so thankful for each of you. My pod sisters are seriously the best blessing in my life. And I love that we can celebrate each other, we can talk about you know all the things we're going through in life, and just you know, we're all aware of coming back home to ourselves and we get to share things like this. So I just want to thank you for you know talking about gratitude with us. I wanna if we could all like say a closing thought. My closing thought today for any listeners would just be let go of the expectations and just live in the moment. Just truly be present wherever you're at and let go of the outcome. Like whatever it is meant to be is gonna be, and you get to choose to be grateful for where you're at.

Jen Chambers: 19:20

Do either of you want to share something say that it's okay to it's okay to feel the feelings where you're at, no matter what, during the holidays, and honor that, honor yourself. And remember that you can come back at any minute to what boundaries you've set for yourself. And that it's just so important to me. It's so important to me to that, like I said earlier, pre planning that out for me, knowing what I will accept and what I won't. And and the Energy level that I'll accept and that I won't, and knowing that you can remove yourself at any time. You got to do what's right for you.

Kena Siu: 20:10

Love that. Yeah. Well, just to compliment whatever you know, you you ladies said, talking about boundaries, I think it's good. We usually know when we deal with certain person, like what may happen. So just kind of like think about it. Okay, this might happen with this person. Okay, so just think about how would you like to act the next time? So, in a way, you're prepared that okay, this person might say something and it might actually trigger me. How do I want to act? Do I want to keep quiet? Do I want to leave the room? Do I want to say politely, okay? That's your point of view. I respect it, but I I don't like it. You know, like I respect it, but this is my point of view. Like, yeah, doing those kind of practices in the mind because we usually, our minds usually do that, right? And they are like, okay, what's gonna happen? And that's what we get at all this anxiety because we move to that future. So that's what Casey, what she said about staying present. That's important, right? But then our mind is always playing us because we're playing in that future. So if you're gonna play that future, then make a mental plan of what can happen so you can set the boundary in advance. So that's my take.

Casey Taton: 21:32

Love that, love that love that so much too. Yeah, I want to thank you guys so so much for yeah, just being here and all your gratitude and just awareness and just all the things we can share with each other. And if anyone is listening, I guess here's another final note is that I know that we're we're all talking about all these positive things, but we are all human as well. And we have all experienced, we experience the ups and downs, and we share it together. And I think that's really important to acknowledge, like I think, and one of you guys even said about you know, we can remove ourselves to different things, but it's okay to fill your feelings. And so just as you're going through these days, I mean, and really the whole thing of this is is you get to make it a lifelong practice. And so, even though we're doing this right before the holidays, it becomes really a lifelong practice that we get to carry with us every single day. I have so much gratitude for you guys. I love you all so much.

Kena Siu: 22:43

I love you y'all too.

Casey Taton: 22:45

You too. Thank you for having us.

Kena Siu: 22:48

Thank you. Thank you for tuning in to Midlife Butterfly. I hope this episode empowers you in some way. Share the love by hitting follow wherever you're listening and leave a review if you feel inspired. I also love to connect with you. Come say hi on Instagram at Midlife Butterfly. I love to know you. Until next time, keep spreading those wings and live enjoy growth and pleasure.