Midlife Butterfly | Coming Home to Yourself: Presence, Embodiment, Self-Love, Life Coherence & Transformation

#59 - Experiencing Every Day Life Through Love

• Kena Siu • Episode 59

Share episode

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 28:36

What if love isn’t something you find… but something you are?

On my birthday, after a deep physical reset and days of surrendering to what my body needed, I found myself reflecting on one thing: love. Not just romantic love — but the kind that expands you, cracks your heart open, and changes how you move through life.

In this intimate episode, I share how yoga, ancestral ritual, and Neuroepigenetic Breathing (NEB) reshaped my healing journey and spiritual awakening. How I moved from fear-based conditioning into embodied love. How self-trust in midlife becomes the doorway to freedom. And why choosing to keep your heart open — even after loss — is the most powerful reinvention of all.

If you’re navigating midlife empowerment, identity shifts, or longing to feel connected to yourself again, this conversation will meet you gently… and expand you.

By the end, you may realize: you are not waiting for love. You are the source of it.


✨ In This Episode You’ll Learn

  • How to shift from fear-based love to embodied love
  • Why self-love transforms every relationship you have
  • What happens when you stop making others responsible for loving you
  • How pleasure reconnects you to your power and purpose


🦋 Reflection Questions

  1. What would shift if you chose to be the most loving presence in the room?
  2. Where are you still asking someone else to give you what you can give yourself?
  3. What becomes possible when you keep your heart open — even after loss?

HOME is my monthly membership for midlife women who are already doing the inner work and are ready to embody it.

Through nervous system regulation, Neuroepigenetic Breathing, and grounded integration practices, you create safety in your body and expansion in your life.

This is where insight becomes lived experience.

Join the Waitlist: home.midlifebutterfly.ca


🦋 Work With Me
If this episode landed in your body and not just your mind,
you may be standing at a threshold.

I offer connection calls for women who feel ready to move, align, and embody the inner work they’re already doing.

This is an intimate conversation to feel into whether working together is a true yes.

If you’re done searching and ready to choose yourself more fully,
you’re invited to book a call through the link below.

Trust what brought you here.

RSVP now: https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/connection-call-midlife-butterfly


Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

Birthday Reset And Gratitude

Kena Siu

Hello beauties, welcome back to the Midlite Butterfly Podcast. This is Kena Siu, and we're celebrating today. Yeah, yeah, it is my birthday. Woohoo! I'm super happy to be here today celebrating my birthday with you. This might not come on February 19th, but uh yeah, here I am. Here I am on present, and after actually going through three days of like a full reset with my body, it did a deep cleanse itself, you know, those kind of times that I just your body just feels heavy and didn't want to do anything, and I just allow it. I guess, yeah, I didn't have any other option because sometimes when I felt a bit hungry, I will eat a bit, but then you know, go to the washroom and my stomach was empty again. And I don't know, it was just you know, there's a lot of stuff going on this very specific week, either if we might understand it or not. We are all all connected to nature, the universe, the planets, and and here we are. Yeah, I mean, it's not that I'm blaming it, I just know I'm also like a part of it, and so I just welcome it. Go with the flow because it's sickness that I didn't expect it. Well, I guess we never do, but I mean it's uh week of birthdays here at home. My my siblings they had their birthday on the 17th, and so luckily that day I felt a bit better, even though the day before and that and the day after I felt like corrupt. Here I am today. Even my mom told me, Oh, you are laughing again. And I was like, Oh shit, that's true. I felt so bad that I didn't even laugh, and that's one of my favorite things to do. So here we are, and another favorite thing is love. And while I was thinking, like, what do I want to talk about this podcast? Because it's going, you know, celebration and stuff, but I was like, I would like to share, because I usually I like to reflect back on my year in my experiences, and I was thinking, why not talking about love? And it's not gonna be only my past year, because I will have to give you some reference to yeah, to what had happened before, because it's very interesting and beautiful and expansive the way I have experienced love in the past years, it keeps evolving and is getting more pleasurable and more exciting and more expansive, even though when sometimes yeah, there's pain. But it's just great. What can I say? It's just fucking great. Because yeah, love is challenging, it is, and I think it's just part of it. Otherwise, if we will only feel love and not the little nuances here and there, then we will not we will not know what love is. And I still don't know exactly, and I don't know if I ever I will ever figure it out, and I don't care. I'm experiencing it, and that's what comes. And again, like I mentioned before, the way it has transformed, it has been so beautiful and fulfilling, and one of my mantras is I'm the most loving person in the room, and then I was thinking about this just before when I was getting ready doing my hair and stuff after the shower, and I that thought came and I was like, Yeah, I'm the most loving person in the room, and then another thought came and like, yeah, you are the only one in the room, and then the answer to that was, yeah, but I could be the most miserable person in the room, too. And I'm not choosing that, I am choosing to be the most loving person in the room. It doesn't matter if there's someone else in the room or not. That's it. That's all. So talking about love, I have experienced a couple of different methodologies, or how do you call it? What's the word for these? I don't know. Anyway, the first one is yoga itself. Back in 2017, I did a professional training in yoga, which is based on science, in case you didn't know. And here in our culture in the occident, we usually know that yoga is just asanas, right? It's just postures, and let me tell you that it's much more than that. And I don't want to extend much first because I don't know how to explain it. Uh but I can feel it and I have lived it. And I can resume it that yoga for me, the science of yoga, while taking that training, it was the beginning to a most conscious spiritual journey. Because we are all spiritual beings having a human experience. And that's what I say more conscious, because I was already on the path. You are already on the path, right? And this path, what really taught me was how to live in love instead of from fear, as a Catholic Church does, and it was then that I understood why I never click with my religion at the time. Because how is it possible that just by being born I'm already a sin? Have you ever wondered that? And why by dying I will be judged by God? Hell no, it's just no, I just I don't agree with that. And I hope you get my point that fear is not the answer, fear is how we have been programmed, and how that's actually how the collective works. And coming back to yoga after years of practice, when finally my mind and body connected, then my soul did connect too. And then I understood at an embodied level that we humans are these three elements: we are mind, body, and soul. In some religions, they call it, you know, Father, Son, and the Holy Spirits. And you know, we have our definitions, but I I I love just reframing that we are body, mind, and soul. And once we connect, or better said, once we remember that connection with that spirit within us, as a connection of goose, which is you know the acronym that I use for God, universe, source, whatever you want to call it. When that connection gets stronger, life can shift in a marvelous way. Because you it's when I discovered that I was the creator of my life, that I am a co-creator with God of this human experience, and at the end, this science of yoga the aim of it, the path of it is love. And then a few years later, well, to say four years ago, actually, I felt that my roots were calling me, you know, my Mexican rules were calling calling me back home. And then suddenly, yeah, in Quebec, the moon dance from the Mechicas found me. And I was like, what the heck? Like, you know, my roots found me there, and just within a month or so, then I signed up to be part of the moon dance, and I got in, and of course, everything aligned, and I was part of it. And the interesting part is that the archetypes that they use, because they don't call them gods, you know, they have Wichile Postly and some other archetypes in there, and the teachings of this red path, it's also love, and it was so beautiful to, after having, you know, the very first retreat for five, six days, and not understanding a lot of stuff of what was going on while we were dancing under the moon for four nights, and all the shapes that we were doing, and all that beautiful dance that again at that very moment I didn't understand much, but I was like, is that if I'm here for a reason, and by the end of the experience, I just cracked open and sorry, those are my dogs, and I don't want to cut this off, so I'm just gonna leave them on the back. At the end of that experience, I remember I got into the car with my friend. We finally closed the door, and I just started crying, my heart cracked open. I I told her, I remember, I told my dear friend Luz, I said, I've never experienced this amount of love, and it's so beautifully overwhelming in my body, but I couldn't explain it, and it's you can't explain it. As simple as that, it's it's you can't, as simple as that, and my eyes are worrying now. You can hear my voice because it's one of the first times in my life that I was able to experience love at this level. So again, so these were two very different doctrines, which love is the same aim, and a love that is expansive, that is cherished and is shared openly, you know, a kind of love that doesn't resume into a romantic love only, it's love for everything and nothing, for all beings, animals, nature, humans, and of course, self-love, which is something that religion didn't teach me. And last year, when the school of llena de vida, meaning full of life, found me, yeah, I started with a you know a seven-day worldwide meditation with neuroepigenetic rethink. And that was like also poof. I was like, I went in. And I said I went in because they offer a certification right after, and I took it. And what I love about the philosophy of the teacher, Sajiva, is about connecting sex, love, and consciousness, meaning, you know, that uterus or the prostate, the heart, and the mind. Because a lot of people they all they talk a lot about mind-body coherence, but something was missing. At least for me, something was missing, and it makes so much sense when I realized, yeah, it is sex, it is sex because sex is within me. I have my parts in there, but it's also that sexual energy that comes with it, and because of the taboo of talking about sex and pleasure at home, that bless programming, I just didn't felt whole and complete because seriously, this part for me, it was missing. And the thing is from my side, I used to relate sex. No, sorry, I used to relate pleasure only to sex. And oh my god, I hope you have already discovered this for you. If not, I'm just telling you, we can find pleasure in so many fucking things, in so many mundane things. If we are very present, and if we choose to see the beauty of life, every moment can be pleasurable, at least for me. And neuroepigenetic breathing, which is based on science too, it opened the door to infinite love. That connection with all there is, and a love that is pure, that is calm and is intense sometimes, and with this system which actually helps to embody that love, to be love, because with the different meditation, active meditations that we did over there, we were you know balancing the different centers or chakras, we were regulating the nervous system, we were reprogramming the mind and every self. There was a lot of releasing of trauma and memories, and not only from this life of mine, but you know, my ancestors and the collective. It is amazing how much crap we carry that we don't know is in our bodies, and that connection back to a deeper level with nature, with Mama Gaia, and with sources itself. We are infinite. You are infinite, we live in a limited body, but with infinite possibilities. Because in case you didn't know, existence wants to experience life through you. And if existence wants to experience itself, it means that there's no limit. The limits we think we have, they are only in our minds. So what about reprogramming man, not only the mind, reprogramming the body? That's what neuropigenetic breathing does. It's really embodying that source of love that you are. And this is the best thing that I have experienced ever. It's ever, like truly. With these words, and to tell you a little bit of my story of how the evolution of love has been in my life, and of course, there have been losses through that time, you know, of romantic losses of my father, of friendships. There have been wins of new friendships and collaborations and clients and romantic encounters as well. And at this moment, it's just about allowing that love, allowing myself to give that love with a heart open because I'm not willing to close it anymore. Whatever it is that I have to experience, I choose to leave my heart open. And this is also something that I really got to experiment this last year because I met someone and I knew that relationship was going nowhere, and I allow myself to love this person and to love him truly and deeply, and it was very interesting to see the different, you know, yeah, like emotions and sensations and and things that happen, you know, and more like noticing like my behavior and things that I was saying or I was not saying. And then at one point I was like, okay, it's not only my voice who wants to express, it was also like my body. Yeah, it yeah, it has been such a interesting and wonderful experience and to know that I choose to love just because I choose to, because I want to, and it doesn't matter if I don't receive it back, even though it feels freaking fantastic, of course, when so someone loves you back, but by knowing that I am the source of love, and you are too, it changes everything. And one of the things that I mentioned, but just very slightly, was the fact that self-love has to be the base of it. Because once I love, no, once I learned to love myself fully and truly, with my light and my shadows, and flaws and virtues and whatever else, and accept myself as I am, that's how I kind of took the responsibility for that love that I used to ask or crave to other people. And since then, my relationships have improved because since I love myself, I'm not making anyone responsible to love me back. And even though, when of course I desire to be loved back, many times, and probably this happened to you, is the fact that we think people don't love us enough or whatever, but it's more about the fact that we are going to love others according to the capacity that we have. Therefore, imagine at this point if I would expect people to love me back at the level of expansion that I can feel my heart, my love, and my energy. No, I will be miserable if I can say it that way. So it's so cool the fact that I love myself so much, and I can then allow others to love me just the way they can and they want if they choose to, because other people will not choose to. You know, it's okay because the love that I feel as the creator of it, then I just get to share it, to share it every time I want. And even I can share it with people that I don't want them to be close to me anymore, too. So again, I keep choosing, and sometimes I also can be aware and say, okay, yeah, no, this time it's just be aware of probably a situation or something that it might hurt me because, of course, my human, my ego is gonna take care of me. She's still there, not going anywhere. It's more tempted, but that's about it. So I thank you. I want to thank you also today, my birthday, for listening, for taking your time and your energy to be here, to be part of my journey, even though most likely I might not know you. And just know that you can reach out whenever you want. I will be happy to know who you are and what your experiences are. It's even when it's it's fun, just you know, doing this. I really enjoy it, that's what I'm still here. But that connection with others, that community, that love that I have here to share, and if it's possible to share through a message, through an email, to uh whatever, or if it's possible at one point in person, I'm in for it. I'm in to keep sharing this love, and I send it to you with great honor, satisfaction, and pleasure. Thank you for being here. I love you. Thank you for tuning in to Midlife Butterfly. I hope this episode empowers you in some way. Share the love by hitting follow whatever you're listening and leave a review if you feel inspired. I also love to connect with you. Come say hi on Instagram at Midlife Butterfly. I love to know you. Until next time, keep spreading those wings and leave enjoy growth and pleasure.