#69 - How The Constant Doing Disconnects You From Yourself

Something starts to shift… the roles don’t fit the same, the life you built feels tight, and there’s a quiet pull asking for something deeper.

In this episode, I share a powerful conversation from A Doorway to Home, where we explore what’s really happening in midlife—not as a crisis, but as a profound awakening. This is the moment where the checklist ends… and your truth begins.

We talk about identity shifts, the hidden cost of living in constant “doing,” and the disconnection many women feel from their bodies, emotions, and inner voice. You’ll also discover how reconnecting with your body—and regulating your nervous system—can bring you back into alignment, self-trust, and inner peace.

This is your invitation to stop abandoning yourself… and start returning home.

By the end, you’ll feel a deeper sense of clarity, connection, and permission to create a life that actually feels like yours.

✨ In This Episode You’ll Learn

• Why midlife “offness” is actually a call into awakening
• How identity roles disconnect you from your true self
• What happens when you shift from doing to being
• The truth about body disconnection and stored emotional tension
• How to begin reconnecting with your body, breath, and inner safety

HOME begins May 5. Founding member pricing is available for a limited time—if you’re feeling the pull, this is your moment to step in.

Join Now! home.midlifebutterfly.ca/membership

🦋 Reflection Questions

• What parts of me have I outgrown… but I’m still holding onto?
• Where am I choosing “doing” over truly being with myself?
• What would it feel like to experience home within my own body?

HOME is open.

For the woman who’s done the inner work… but still feels a subtle disconnection.
HOME is where you come back to yourself.
Where insight becomes lived experience.

Join the Membership: home.midlifebutterfly.ca/membership

🦋 Work With Me
If this episode landed in your body and not just your mind,
you may be standing at a threshold.

I offer connection calls for women who feel ready to move, align, and embody the inner work they’re already doing.

This is an intimate conversation to feel into whether working together is a true yes.

If you’re done searching and ready to choose yourself more fully,
you’re invited to book a call through the link below.

RSVP now: https://links.ivorey.io/widget/bookings/connection-call-midlife-butterfly

Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

Transcript

Truth, Depth, And A New Doorway

Kena Siu 0:00

You are stepping into a first and off tool that ask for more truth, more depth. Well, the full school is like the space for your members who used to argue all the world responsibilities and expectations. And your empowerment and space for women like who are ready to cover themselves, these schools. You've just got these course. For the women's course stories, everything to find first. And why that's not a price that's a calibrate, but it's something for what is cost connected to yourself. And third, and a different way to access. One that fits your body, your heart, and your ego with built into the same conversation. This episode is also indicated to all of my membership, which begins May 5th. And for a limited time, the founding member trade is available. If something in you is curious, this might be your doorway in. Check the show notes for more details. Hello! Welcome back, beautiful ladies, to A doorway to home. And this it's our second session uh doing neuroepigenetic breathing, a kind of uh breathing technique that is very revolutionary, and I am so excited to share it with you today. And so, but before that, we're gonna talk a bit about how we live life kind of like in midlife, right? And why you probably here, and and I am with here too, because we are you know in this in this beautiful path. I do think that one of the things that is bringing us to this place and more when we are more conscious and we are more aware of who of who we are, and we start kind of like you know, getting little pieces here and there that is like okay, like we start questioning life, better said, right? And it's because we think that like something is off, like something feels off within within us. And when the truth is, like nothing is wrong, it's just like we get here after you know decades of a lot of stuff that we have been doing, and or things that we were, you know, with the programming, the conditioning, and everything that has happened through our lives, that I think it comes to we come to a place at one point that is like we start questioning, and it's like, yeah, no, that doesn't really like resonate with me, or it's like you know, it's it's just that not resonance anymore with many things, and not even with things, it's also with people that we used to, you know, have a perspective of of them, but then because of our perception of life starts changing, then we are like, hmm, why I'm not really like liking or really in alignment with that person anymore. And I think it's because through life itself, very little we get so into life that we just go with it in like in autopilot in a way. And when suddenly we just take make that pause and say, Oh, yeah, no, this feels off. It's then there it comes a moment that we cannot ignore it anymore, because it's just like, you know, it's like the body, like if we don't listen to it, at some point it's gonna scream at us. I think it's the same, and it's probably the same body calling us, like saying, Hey, I'm whispering to you, like this is not good anymore. And and it's when we then the mind is starts like questioning more, more. And I think it's because all of all the roles that we have been playing through our life since we are kids, right? The way we are bringing it, the way like education, culture, religion, everything that it has been from us there. And we this is the way that we have been living for years and years. And then more when we come to closer to midlife, like at least our 30s or 40s. That if you know, I know you ladies are moms, and then if you have a husband, then all taking care of our parents and things like that, that we start putting everyone else first in the list. And by doing that, we start to forget who we really are, because there are so many roles that either we choose to, you know, to take them, or we were pushed to take them, because that's life. Like sometimes it's like we get pushed to do things even though we don't have you know an option, and then from there it's like, okay, I have to be like the strong one for the family, or you become the you know, the savior or the the you know, the rescuer, and all these kind of roles that in a way we have to do it a lot of times because of others, but many other times we do it so unconsciously to to be loved, to be accepted, you know, and and and it's normal to I mean to take those roles or to be like that, because of course we want to belong, and we don't like to be rejected, which is something, you know, that I mean, we are as humans, we're here to be in community, to be part of something, to be, you know, more than just in this individual being like, okay, how can I then contribute to others, or how can others help me at the same time? The thing is, as women, I do believe that it's the roles that we take, we take it more strongly, and sometimes we get more into our masculine energy of just doing and doing most of the time instead of going with the flow of the feminine of more being. And then it's when this kind of like imbalance comes within. We start shifting, and more with the fact that we usually have a checklist, right, to follow. Like, okay, you have to study, you got a job, you get married, you have kids, ta-da. That's the material stuff that you're supposed to gain with all that checklist. But what I notice is that we keep when we arrive to midlife, like what else? Like, there's no more to follow. And what I have discovered is more like, okay, like I think that's why it's an awakening, this part of our life. It's not a crisis. I do believe it's more like an awakening, like, okay, the soul, you know, really calling you back here, home. And and it's because that awakening is more like, okay, it's time to come home to yourself, it's time to let go of, yeah, the you're already feeling the checklist, probably yes, probably no, but it's like, what about if now you start writing each of those things that you want to create from now on that you because you choose it consciously, hopefully, that you can experience in life? And I think it's a very cool like season to be in midlife, because we are more aware of what we want, more conscious of what we want to experience. And since you are actually the creator of your own life, so it's like, okay, so what are you choosing today? You can really choose how you want to feel, what you want to experience, either only with yourself or if you want to be with others, and by having that awareness is how you can create a reality that aligns more with who you are, and it has this kind of coherence, right? Living in that coherence of what you are feeling, what you are thinking, and what you are doing are in alignment, otherwise, that's why we feel then this offness, because we are not what we are thinking, feeling, and doing are just like you know, crumbling out there. And again, like this happens through the years, right? And I think it's one of the things is that we get too mental, like too much in our logic head to be like to be doing everything that we're supposed to do, the tasks with the you know, with the family, with the marriage, with work, with the I don't know, like having a promotion of, you know, if you're an entrepreneur, like all those little things that we get too much in the head, but there is a moment again that the body is the one calling us back. We get that disconnection with the body. And this I mean, this machinery that we have is just so beautiful and so complex, and it's literally the avatar that we have to have this human experience, right? And the more we get to reconnect with our body, the more you are actually going to feel home again. Because we usually say the mind and the body, even though the mind is part of the body, it's just you know, or what the neck is the one kind of like making that connection through it, and what a lot of scientists and you know, and mentors, what they really work with is the mind heart coherence, which is super important. What I loved about this method of neuropigenetic breathing is the fact that it also connects our sex part, meaning like you know, our pelvis or pelvic floor, you know, our womb, the organs, everything that is there, our sex itself, because we are all this, we are we are sex, love, and consciousness. And when we get to balance and to work with these three elements that at the end is where all our energy centers are, the more in coherence you're going to be. Because then the mind is there, but then who's the one feeling more? It's usually more like the heart, but also your hand can be feeling something, you know, or your feet can be feeling something, and then from when we have these two incoherences when we really can take that action that we want to create something that is in alignment with what we really want to experience in life, and by working, yeah, like with the whole body itself and reconnecting with it, and then allowing ourselves to live to experience that the emotions that we have, because unfortunately, we were not taught how to experience our emotions. They were like put aside, it's like, no, no, don't cry, or you know, you're the good girl, like you know, since we are kids, they are constantly being programmed and conditioned on how to behave, and there's no wonder why now, like, we come to midlife and we don't even know how to move our hips, and it's just crazy. And and I at least for me personally, one of the reasons the reasons is because sex was a taboo at home the whole time. We never talk about it, still, we don't. So one of the things that brought me to neoprime neuroepigenetic breathing, what that part of also putting sex in the equation of the heart and the mind. And it just had, you know, it had blown my mind because it's it's different how I can now experience the body, and we keep a lot of trauma in the pelvic floor, most of it is is kind of like there, and that's why we have struggle actually moving our hips or connect reconnecting with our womb because all that is just contrained. Just the fact that we usually are tightened our asshole. If you notice, like and it's a way of protection, the body does it like that. If there's something happening, the first thing we do is tense the body, and that includes includes the asshole, and that's why it's one of the things that we do with this kind of breathing is really release, like relax that part of the body because it's basically the base of our body. So if we are here, you know, as an extension of earth, right? And an extension of source, then we gotta, you know, we are the channel, so it has to flow. And if we are Titan over there, how is the energy from the earth gonna flow through us to go up to to source, to the divine, to that connection with God? Because we are an extension of all of it. So by working and in these areas of the body that we consider, you know, like we don't supposed to talk about them, or that uh you know, we consider a taboo, but why if it's also a part of our body, like our ear or our lips, you know, the pelvic floor, the the womb, the vagina, the perrenium, the uh the prostate for for you know, for a man, the gland is also part of the body. So why do we tend not to talk about them if it's part of us? And I think once we kind of like open or just change that perception little by little is how we can then start exploring more and seeing, ah yeah, that's part of me. So then that disconnection that we have starts kind of like fading away, like little, little by little, because at the end it's just the perception, but we're always we can always change our perception just by seeing something from just the two degrees angles, from that, it's just a different way of seeing things, and I think that's one of the cool parts that our mind can do and that we can do if we choose then to see things with a different perspective, and yeah, and I think I think it's about then normalizing, you know, not that is anything wrong with us, and then just normalizing that we are all this, we are sex, we are love, we are consciousness, because also sometimes it's like, how am I gonna say that I am love? Like, why not? How can you not say that you are love if you are here? It's for because of a greater design, yeah. It's our part or biological parents that give us life here, but it's more than that, it's really the grandmother and the grandfather who said, like, there you go. Because how can you explain sometimes that they are mothers and they are 60 years old? You know, when they supposed to be in menopause or something like that. It's like, yeah, it's really the divine who shows you to be here for one for one reason and another. So the more I think we can normalize that we are all this and start putting together those fragments of what we think that that probably you can feel that I am not love, that yes, you are love. It's probably the way you were thought that love is very different. But what about when you start connecting more to who you truly are, and you're gonna start experiencing love in a different way, and you're gonna say, ah, yes, that's true. I am love. And it's interesting how through our life, because of the different experiences and relationships and circumstances that we go through, one of the things what that happened is that we start kind of like fragmenting ourselves, you know. If we have a a relationship, we leave parts of us in you know, in that relationship, in that person, and it's something that we don't realize, or it's also part of us that we divide it within ourselves, and it's mostly what we consider our shadow, you know, are things that we don't want to see because in the spectrum of society or culture of religion, it's wrong according to them, and then we tend to shame or to feel guilt for certain part of us because it's like, no, I don't, I don't suppose to feel jealous or feel envy or to do something bad, but it's like bad according to whom, you know, it's then coming back to that questioning because if we just leave it like that and we don't question it, is we hide that part of ourselves, and it's when we feel that disconnection because we hide those parts from the being, and then when we actually leave part of ourselves. To others for a kind of different relationship that we have. It could be a romantic relationship, it could be, you know, like my deceased father, it could be my ex-husband. So leaving all those parts of us, I think that's part of that offness that we feel within us because we're not really aware of living those parts away from us. And the more we come, you know, with the breadth, and we come to put together all those pieces because it's the cool part of this, is not only the reconnection within the body, but it's also the connection of the energy that is out there, it's the connection with the divine God, source, whoever you want to call it, also back to you because the body is finite, but the divine it is not, it's infinite. So once when we realize that we are an extension of it, it's like, oh wow, it's like we are much more than this, we are much more than this body only. But imagine how much more we are if we are an extension of God, what everything is infinite. Imagine how much actually love you can feel, more abundance you can feel, more joy you can feel by knowing that you are much more than simply this body. And that's why by doing these free sessions, what I'm my aim is to actually invite you to home, which is a new membership that I am opening. By doing the certification in neuroepigenetic breathing and by knowing how to put all of the fragments back into me and feeling home here. It has been such a powerful work and such a powerful experience that, of course, it's a continuous practice, and it's so fulfilling, it's so satisfying to be who I'm truly at this moment, by shading so many layers and how so much trauma and memories and stories that some of them were mine, but a lot of them they were not even mine. They come from my family or they come from the collective, and just by by breathing, by connecting to your body to your emotions, it is amazing how, of course, you can transform yourself because you are transforming your nervous system, and at the same time, you are rewiring your mind. That's cool part of the system, too, is that it's working with the with the three brains that we have, so it helps rewire the mind itself, and it's just by breathing, and you don't really have to talk about, you know, which is really cool because so many times, like, yes, when we work with coaches, you know, or with I don't know, therapists, which of course it is a great support to have there, but sometimes what we're doing is rewiring those stories, and and I think that the cool part with this system is the fact that you just you breathe, yeah, and there's of course there's gonna be emotions coming through, and there's gonna be things moving inside, but then at the end of it, you kind of feel at peace, uh, you come back to a place where your nervous system is just calm, and what's the I mean, with the calm nervous system, I mean, that's that's peace is coming back here little by little. Because if we are always, you know, in fight or flight, we're not gonna be able to feel at home, and that's and that's a good part of of this of this system, because I do believe that uh home, I read this and I now and now that's the way I feel it is that home is not a place, home is a feeling, and once you feel home here in your body, you can be everywhere, it doesn't matter where you are, you're always going to feel safe, you will always feel at peace, even though there's chaos over there, but you're gonna be able to manage and come back to peace in here because by you being able to regulate your nervous system, I mean it's just about taking a few breaths and coming back to that space again where you feel safe, where you feel calm. And by doing that, I mean, of course, you your life changes. You transform your day-to-day because you feel good within yourself, and of course, that's that is transmitted to whoever is around you. Thank you for tuning in to Midlife Butterfly. I hope this episode empowers you in some way. Share the love by getting follow whatever you're listening to and leave a review if you feel inspired. I also love to connect with you. Comment say hi on Instagram at MidLifeButterfly. I love to know you. Until next time, spread the Twitter and enjoy code.