BPF #2 - Processing Dark Emotions & Heal Your Nervous System

What if the emotions you've spent your whole life hiding... are actually the ones trying to guide you home?

Butterfly Practice Fridays are short, intimate episodes designed to land in your body, not just your head.

Consider this your weekly permission slip.

Every Friday, a simple practice to help you come home to yourself. Press play. Do the thing. That's it. Feel alive again!

Share your experience with me on Instagram @midlifebutterfly

💜 I created Coming HOME for the woman who has done everything right and still feels something is missing. It's free, it's private, and it might be the most important thing you listen to this year — sign up here!

🦋 Midlife Butterfly is a podcast for high-achieving midlife women navigating emotional exhaustion, people pleasing, self-abandonment, nervous system healing, identity shifts, and midlife awakening. Hosted by Kena Siu, Identity & Embodiment Guide.

Instagram: @midlifebutterfly
Website: midlifebutterfly.ca

Music: Back Home by Alex Productions and  Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

Transcript

[00:00:00] Kena Siu: What if the emotions you spend your whole life hiding are actually the ones trying to guide you home? Hey, beautiful. Welcome back to Butterfly Practice Fridays, your weekly dose of coming home to yourself. I am Kena Siu, and today we're talking about something most of us were never taught how to do, processing our dark emotions or negative emotions.

[00:00:31] Think about it. Were you actually taught how to manage your emotions, or were you just taught which ones were acceptable? Isn't it crazy? Shame, guilt, anger, we learned very little. These were the dark ones, the ones to hide. And as women especially, we [00:01:00] were handed a script, the good girl, the nice girl, so don't ever dare to show your dark side, right?

[00:01:12] And we didn't. We tucked it away. We smiled through it And we call it being fine, being okay

[00:01:26] But here's the truth, emotions are neutral. They are not good or bad. They are just neutral. They are guides. They are showing you the way back to feeling better, okay? And everyone has a dark side, And this isn't about eliminating it. It's about knowing how to be with it. And if you are a midlife woman in perimenopause or menopause, being our second teenage period, [00:02:00] well, the rollercoaster of hormones, it's crazy.

[00:02:04] And since you've been accumulating them for a while, or better said, through decades, well, it can get rough. So what to do then? You have to understand that your nervous system won't allow these emotions to surface if it doesn't feel safe enough. And unfortunately, if you don't process them, they don't disappear.

[00:02:30] They just go underground, and from there, they still run the show. Am I right? So today, we're bringing one dark emotion to the surface on purpose with intention and safely. Okay? So the butterfly practice of today, what you're gonna do is create [00:03:00] a little sacred space for this, and this is what you are going to need.

[00:03:08] First, a safe place where you can be alone. You can have a candle or an incense if you like, bring a soft drink of your choice, a small cushion or pillow, and a journal and a pen. Let's go to the steps. So step one, get comfortable and take a few breaths, inhaling through the nose, exhaling through the mouth Then on step two, Call in the emotion that you want to process, whatever it is, anger, frustration, guilt. Just be mindful that you are not getting rid of it, but you're moving through it [00:04:00] And then notice where you feel it in your body. On step three, set a timer for 90 seconds, and during this time, take your cushion or your little pillow and squeeze it, like very, very gently while you are breathing in through the nose and breathing out through the mouth.

[00:04:40] And just continue to do this. If you don't have any cushion or a pillow, what you can do is place your hands over the part of your body where you feel that emotion. It could be your throat, your chest, your stomach, probably you do [00:05:00] fist with your hands. Just place your hands in there, okay? And keep feeling the emotion.

[00:05:10] The only way to process emotions is to go through them. That's the only way, and yes, it's going to be discomfort. It might be pain too. Just allow it. Allow it for 90 seconds, and keep breathing anyway. Just keep breathing. On step four, when the timer goes off, bring your attention and intention to your heart.

[00:05:41] If you feel it, bring your hands over your heart, and then just feel it in there. And in this step, you can breathe whatever way you want. Nose -nose, nose- mouth, whatever feels good for you. The intention of this [00:06:00] part is for you that when you breathe in, feel the love coming into your heart, and when you exhale, breathing out that love through every cell of your body, every part of your body.

[00:06:24] Okay? That's the intention. Breathing in love and spreading that love to every cell of your body. And step five,

[00:06:34] I want you to repeat after me, either if it's out loud or in your mind. I welcome all my emotions. They are my guides. I choose love above all. I am safe, I am love, and I am loved. Here it goes again. I welcome all [00:07:00] my emotions. They are my guides. I choose love above all of them. I am safe, I am love, and I am loved.

[00:07:16] Hmm. And if you feel the call afterwards, take your journal and your pen and write whatever it is that comes through. Okay? Your dark emotions are not your enemies. Again, they are your guides, and they have always wanted to bring you back home to yourself. Back home to yourself right here.

[00:07:46] I hope you enjoy this practice. Write in the comments. I would like to hear about it once you've done it, and I'll see you next Friday. Much love to you.